Sex life and AS?

Post Reply New Topic

I hope things work out.

Yes, as an autistic women I have felt this time and time again in relationships with NT men.

You have needs so you flirt and kiss but you don't really have the need for intimacy so when it comes to sex anything but a quicky can be uncomfortable for you, you realise that this isn't enough for your sexual needs or that you need arousal to actually have sex but can't achieve that without the intimacy. You give-up but then find partner becomes upset feeling rejected which in turn leads to your feeling pressured into having sex so leaving you even less likely to be 'in the mood'. You end-up with this constant underlying issue within your relationship, constant arguments about needing him to initiate sex but then he never knows when to, you both end-up feeling rejected or like you're letting the other person down. If you then add issues such as post-partum, past abuse, stress, illness, etc. you fall into a pattern where even though sex continues to be a whole big THING within your relationship sex doesn't occur to you. When you're not having sex within what should be a sexual relationship your life seems to start revolving around it - sex is everywhere, so important to everyone, it makes you feel inadequate.

You both want and don't want sex, you have no way of explaining this to your partner...it's no fun.