What are we like in the eyes of outsiders?

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Yes, I concur with the others....thanks to those who shared!

So much of what you've written is spot-on in what my husband discussed with me to I guess illustrate how I come off as behaving towards people....I might think it's benign but the NTs do not unfortunately.

I too want to reach out and appear to be socially competent but like one poster mentioned, we get very adept at imitating.
For years I didn't know it was a big deal until I actually lived with someone who's keenly aware of the world and pointed out behaviour that actually did me more harm (in a subtle manner) than good.

There are definitely days where I feel like I'm not functioning on all cylinders, that's for sure!

PS: Y-pod, I totally get what you're saying! Pi-woman, I often think that myself - why are there so many hierarchies???

At first glance, a bit off. Insular. Extremely focused. A bit insecure (even or perhaps especially when seeming quite confident about something). I've really only been around really smart Aspies. I know now that not all Aspies are incredibly bright. But because I am very, very bright and my exposure has been through academic or tech work these are the kind of Aspies I meet.

When they want something off you (anything from attention, affection, information) they can make you feel really special, probably because of the extreme focus of attention.

The good. Straightforward. Earnest. And when your priorities align - a good ally.

The bad: rude, baffling, difficult - and when you are allied with them you spend a lot of time smoothing over feathers they've ruffled. Dismissive when you don't have anything to offer at the moment. Irritable.

Incredibly self-centred. INCREDIBLY so. Being on WP has made me switch my thoughts from "they seem self-centred" to "they are self-centred"

Think of it of visiting one of the great german Techno parties like "Mayday" as example. It does not need to be automatic negative, so in an certain amount it can be quite stimulating, but after a certain time, it numbs your mind. The stroboscope lights, flashing in and out, laser beaming around in fast speed, showing different pictures on the dancers, the ceilings and the walls, lights moving, dancers everywhere, music from everywhere, the "bassdrum" moving to your whole body, shaking it, sounds from stages, sounds from people cheering, sounds from people chatting at the bar.

I am in work right now, and have no access to pictures or youtube right now, but if you search for "Mayday Techno Germany" it will become understandable for you. Experiencing such thing is not automatic negative, the intense feeling of it, can in the opposite be nice, and other people use drugs to experience such places more intense. But it can easily become too much.

Or an easier example...visiting an entertainement park with your normal kid. Doing that one day: Fine. Doing that three days in a row, and your kids will normally become a bit stressed. Do it one week in a row, without a pause, your kid wont be able to point on something specific disturbing it, but because of the missed relaxed time between, it will even when everything is cool, become more and more exhausted until sooner or later it will be fed up and freak out of no real reason.

This short, four-month-old thread is just... SO, very...GOOD... SO FULL of potential...that it just HAD TO to be brought-BACK (here) (now) (by me) (to this main-page) for more input!! !


So...

...

...(without further ado)...

...


...

..."HAVE AT-it!"



AND(!), THANKS to all the NTs who've ALREADY contributed!!

AND, if you're an Aspie, quit bein' a wimp & go ahead & make a comment!

Good stuff's come-outta this discussion, so far!! !


(e.g., I thought the comment made about how Aspies can sound super [-duper!] intelligent when ANSWERING questions, but QUITE the OPPOSITE when ASKING them (questions)...(THAT observation) was ...imho, exactly-right [unfortunately] LOL.)

(Notice that I haven't tried to ask YOU any questions )


ANYWAY, "take a 'look-see'"! This thread is just "plumb-FULL" of lotsa, little clues as to how we're all ... so...well... ..."different".



(Oh, and "you're WELCOME" [for "bringing-BACK" this kick-ass thread]! LoL. Thank the OP!)

(And, seriously, let's-ALL do a little better job of LOVING ourselves, k??? We've all earned it, cuz we've been thru some DEEP-'OLE CRAP [in our lifetimes]...LOL... ...and... ... well... ...WE'RE... the only ones who can REALLY, TRULY understand each other!! !! !! ...so let's celebrate that!! !)



"Hi-Five", peeps!! !

ClapClapClapClapClapClapClapClapClapClapClap

And, Pss, Hey! If any of y'all are ever here in Kansas...just travelin' thru or somethin'...and... If you ... ...ya know, ...just wanna, like, "look-me-up" ...or "drop by" or have coffee or hang-out or... ...(gulp)... ...WHATEVER!! !...(hahahaha!)...i...uh, I probably WON'T answer the damn door if you knock...or...well, uh, ACTUALLY, i MIGHT YELL at ya (or somethin') - thru the door, I mean-...but, PROBABLY, more LIKELY (after giving you my address a few days before), i'll prolly just "stand ya-up"/pretend I'm not home. LOLLLLL. Thing is, I really don't wanna listen to you BORE me!! ! (You'd probably BORE - the CRAP outta - me!! !! LOL!! !)

Haha! Jk!

But wait! You're an Aspie, too! So... (hmmmmmmmmm)... Maybe you WOULDN'T bore me. ??




I bet that you're cool!!







Wait...WHAT-in-the hell-were we TALKIN' about!???! ! . LOL


Damn!! !! !! !! !! !! !! ! (Sorry!)

(Ps, i'm 38 y/o and JUST figured-out that I have AS [four months-ago]! = many questions now answered!! !! !!)

(Pss, perhaps reading my writing style [here] will help give you a clue about how Aspies think and how we can be quite "different" [but, still, bad-ass!! !! !!] )


I love U, peeps!


(Psss, I'm a dude.)





(I know, right?! )

Last edited by WilFindUndrstndng on 14 Feb 2014, 2:45 pm, edited 3 times in total.

Still love this thread.
It's a must read for any aspie interested in the subject, imho.

Keep bumping it!

"Cinnamon and sugary and softly spoken lies. You never know just how you look through other peoples' eyes." -Pepper

Everytime I see this thread that line pops into my head.

word

Thanks for being so enthusiastic about it!

I made this thread in July, though, so it's older than 4 months.


Thanks for bumping this thread, guys! I just wish more NTs dared give us their input here. I for one am always interested in knowing how I come off and indirectly how to improve myself, so thanks to everyone who have contributed so far. I hope more will....

It is an interesting thread, but I don't think we'll ever get the full "spectrum" of answers. My questions would be

Why do I

Annoy you?
Intimidate you?
Intrigue you?
Baffle you?
Invite your scorn?
Draw you in?

I notice people's reactions to me sometimes, but can never always wrap my head around why.

I like turtles.

Last edited by WilFindUndrstndng on 15 Feb 2014, 12:26 am, edited 1 time in total.

Yo! Those are (all) good questions. THX!! !

We've probably ALL been perceived as "independent (in thought)", "unique", "baffling", "talented" and "intimidating"...and, in many "spectrum" cases, "slow"...which OFTEN has a LOT to do with "thoroughness" and "hyper-sensitivity"/"overload".

We "SEE" things differently and focus INTENSELY - wonderfully - SOMEtimes, yet focus TERRIBLY, other times. We put a unique kind of intelligence & focus into our endeavors...and are picky about WHICH endeavors we choose. We have "flaws"/"hardships", too - often having to do with 1) our unusual, deep thinking and 2) NTs not being PATIENT-enough with us... OR with the complicated things we care about. We tend to be "wired" to care ONLY about a SMALL number of things - often at the expense of excluding other, important, activities OR (good) PEOPLE (By the way, our "wiring" is a classic recipe for either a "good artist" or excellent art "appreciator"!).

Anyway, we want others to respect us - we even love "love" - but we aren't especially caught-up in common "social appearances" or "climbing the 'social ladder'", maybe, partly, because we can't typically INTERPRET indirect communication/social cues. (It's like,
"Hey, folks! What's the flippin' POINT of all-that indirect communication!?!?!?!?!?!" Just say whatcha MEAN and quit, flippin', wasting peoples' TIME!! !! !! !")


We can be excitable and extra-sensitive to stress, or...quite the opposite! ("Laid-back") (It-all depends!)

People may make fun of how we walk or how we're extra-sensitive to sounds.

Our extra-sensitive minds may need constant stimulation, so we may "stim", sometimes (or lots) "for the 'good'" (to help us think deeply) - and sometimes ("stim") "for the 'bad'" (like when we get, ummmm, "carried away" with it [stimming]). Our "stims" can, admittedly, appear (to others/NTs) as "odd". "Ok, did that guy REALLY just listen to the last half-hour of the "E.T. The Extra Terrestrial" (movie) soundtrack twenty-five times in-a-frickin'-ROW - NON-STOP!!??! !?? What's his PROB.???! !! HOW can ANYone DO that!!??! !??! !"

(LOL)
Whatever, peeps!




Like Eric Cartman says:
"I DO what I WAHHHHN!" (LoL)



Hey! THESE (above thoughts & examples) are simply MY experiences (only),
K?!
So(!), I know I can't SPEAK for YOU!!

So, I'd love to hear YOUR examples & suspicions/opinions (about how you SUSPECT you're perceived).

Now, of course, I'd love to hear from NTs, BUT(!), if NOT...

...then, Aspies, how do YOU think the "NT World" perceives you?

Thanks, in advance, for the awesome stuff you're about to write/contribute!! !! !!

(Sorry ABOUT THIS LONG-ASS POST!)


(Ps, http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=s1ysoohV_zA <==. <==. link to bad-ass '80s song! LOL)

Last edited by WilFindUndrstndng on 15 Feb 2014, 2:21 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I think some people see me as a toy or a puzzle. Something fun to figure out for a while and then they get bored and throw me back in the toy box.

It's my own stupid fault.

I'm like a lost dog.

Good analogy, thanks.

This statement sums it all up. It stood out to me, and really amused me.

I actually think it would make a good slogan for an Aspie T-shirt.

Now I want one! A "don't fear, but avoid if possible" T-shirt would be really funny.

I like it. I find it helpful to find humor in a bad situation.

Which of our personality traits do NTs most-often misunderstand? Which types of misunderstandings most-often make us want to AVOID NTs?