Theory of mind - can we learn that?

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I'm just gonna put it out there that I didn't really have a theory of mind until 19 years old and that was when I took a lot of magic mushrooms one night. I still am very mind blind at times but my empathy levels increased (if you will) since I took that huge dose of shrooms.

I'm not condoning illegal activity or anything like that, just putting it out there....

I would have thought that it was innate. I read lots of books about theory of mind or on the social interactions, but I still do not understand how both work. I always do my best to learn from my mistakes, however I must confess how exhausting to notice that my situation is getting worse.

I do have quite a bit of trouble with theory of mind or cognitive empathy. I have learned that I can be insensitive as a result.

The best way for me to be able to feel empathy is see what a person is feeling, by their facial expressions or by other means. If someone can describe for me their feelings, I will feel empathy. Emotional empathy I have no problem with at all.

I just have a lot of trouble imagining what a person may be feeling in a situation, or being able to put myself in their place, unless it's something that I have experienced or have a lot of knowledge about.

I have no trouble feeling empathy when reading a book or watching a movie because I don't need to try to imagine the situation. It's very clearly explained, in one way or another.

If I have time to imagine what another person may be feeling in a particular situation, I can do it. But it takes a lot of concentrating and effort.

Real theory of mind appears to be an early layer of masonry in the neurotypical mind.

We, coming into the game later, can learn the theory of it and apply it, but that doesn't have the same effect as doing it in real time, inside the 500ms loop, which is what your average neurotypical is doing.