"living independently"

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I remember a celebrity saying this recently on TV...can't think for the life of me who it was...ah Sandra Bullock I think...her boyfriend got sick and she realised she wouldn't have any say ultimately at the hospital as to what might happen to him. It scared the life out of her and they got married.

Re independance...I hate depending on other people, but over the last few months increasingly I feel less able to deal with work. Thankfully I have had some savings.

My cousin got married for just this reason.

My wife and I did so for purely financial reasons.

Jay Leno is fond of relating that when he realized his long time girlfriend could have health insurance if they married that is what he said to her and he called that a proposal! Of course, being Jay Leno, he said it a lot funnier.

Merle

Zsazsa,

I agree with you completely! I am as independent as it is possible to be. I still live with my parents, but essentially have my own "apartment" upstairs. It is an ideal arrangement for me. I couldn't imagine living anywhere else. I have my computer, my work area, my sleeping area and entertainment, plus my cats. I have all I need!

One goal I want to accomplish is getting my driver's license. Otherwise, I feel I lead a fairly independent life.

I live independently, if you mean I am my sole support and maintanence. I tried to live with out working but got really tired living off of 7th Day Adventist surplus food and living in my friend's garden shack with no electricity. I was taking myself off of three years of Celexa cold turkey and was no good for anything, then.
I have since got a job and now live in an apartment. It took a year. If I don't do it, it doesn't get done. To me, that is living independently.

Merle

I live independently for the most part. I have my own tiny apartment and work fulltime. It's just me with my cranky old cat and 2 aquariums of fish with lots of clutter. I'm terrible at housekeeping. Occasionally my dad will send me some money, but I don't ask for it he just sends it sometimes for things like unexpected car repairs. That certainly helps, but I still pay my rent and other monthly bills on my own. It gets to be a real struggle sometimes though to be honest.

Not sure which context they mean but if your with your husband/partner and off seperate from family I'd say your independant. Relationships do have a certain amount of depending on eachother.

I've lived on my own since I was 19. My family didn't seem to happy about me moving but other people I knew that age were out on their own. I later married and was with my then husband for several years at his parents house then we were out on our own. He wasn't an aspie though I suppose he could of been considered an ac. After the seperation I lived on my own with one of our kids. My other child later passed away from cancer and my son and I live alone and do fine. He's not on the spectrum he has other things.

I suppose it depends on what people consider "independent". I have my disability check, which isn't much, for depression and my back. When I think about absolute independence, it would include building my own house, raising my own food, and bringing in buckets of water to drink. I have no idea what I'd wear. Maybe I'd just be naked. Live in a cave.

I've had lots of jobs, which were "careers" to other people, but I never saw as being permanent. I didn't have any thoughts of advancement. Well, I was Assistant Manager at one cafe, and it was a nightmare. LONG days, late nights, lots of paperwork. It sucked.

I'll end up doing some writing and some decorating from home, eventually, when I've moved. And when I have a computer that will handle software along with a zippy internet connection.

I don't need a lot. But I do tend to like those things like electricity and water from a tap. I certainly do NOT want any large place. It's too much to clean. I still think I should have a concrete floor with a central drain and a sprinkler system indoors. Along with plastic patio furniture, then all I have to do is hose it down or turn on the sprinklers.

Spoken like a true ASpie ! !! You could take a shower, and clean the house at the same time ! !!

With no financial security, and unable to face "the workplace", this brief interlude of my own apartment (inheritance) is an ironic joke. It's very odd that when I'm working, I barely get by, and burn out; but when I give up (and feel I least deserve to have things) better things come to me.


Yeah, when my kids call and need something, I go help out. People have to call me, I don't call or go to them. The exceptions are occasional girlfriends, who, interestingly, don't come to my cave/sty very much.

Now that my time and space are my own, why can't I draw, write, create? Why can't I do what I always wanted to do?

well, maybe because you worked through those feelings and have another interest about to emerge, just like drawing and writing was. .


Merle

well, maybe because you worked through those feelings and have another interest about to emerge, just like drawing and writing was. .


Merle

You're right, I'm not the same person I was 30 years ago; why should I do the same things? I have been changing; reading, exploring new things online like WP. But change is mysterious, scary, I don't know what's on the other side.

And now suddenly my 18yr-old son Alex is here every day now, after reaching crisis with his mother and sister. (And he's been diagnosed Borderline Personality Disorder, which is freaking me out.) We haven't spent so much time together in years. It's like a new relationship (with someone who knows me all too well.) It's trading away a lot of my time and privacy for... some new parenting challenges, which I wasn't very good at (just ask my ex.) Suddenly this 1br apt is very small, and I'm not as independent as I thought.

Tomart:

Maybe you are making it too hard on yourself?

By labeling it parenting, and by thinking you didn't do so good previously, you could be doing yourself and your child a disservice.

so I show up on your doorstep, and say that I don't understand life. What can you tell me? What can you show me? No one has all the answers. Just show me what you know. Don't worry about what you don't know.

If it was me, a stranger, in your home, you might be able to say that you need some private time. Right? But if it's your child, you might not be able to say that. Go ahead, say it. You are still a human being.

What better thing to teach than to be open? At least with those who are family and significant others. I'm pretty open with everyone. That is not always good. But teaching your son how to communicate his thoughts, ideas, and feelings is a wonderful thing. That will put him ahead of the game for his entire life, if/when he chooses to partner up with another person.

So that saying "I'm frustrated because I don't know what to do" is okay. Yeah. And your son can say "Well, mostly I need someone to talk to about this subject." And you can both try. Yeah? Is good? You can teach him how to cook. How to balance a checkbook. How to think critically about the scams of advertisers so he doesn't get taken by credit card offers or home repair crooks. You can teach him about laundry or purchasing groceries or getting good gas mileage. Any of that is a good thing to teach.

Anything you know about, teach it. Shoes that don't pinch. The best kind of slacks that don't wrinkle and look good and are easy care. Whatever. Teach what you know.

LOL That made me laugh! I told dh that a long time ago True. I don't understand all this stuff. You should just be able to hose it all down. Same with cars. I told a salesman, "What is with all these trucks? They are trucks. You should be able to open the doors and hose it out. Why have they suddenly made them into Suburban Assault Vehicles?"

I don’t understand the threat title, if it means this: do I live how most everyone my age lives…, then no, I’m not “independent”.

Most (99.9%) of us aren’t truly independent, we all rely on society or something else to some extent whether we like it or not. I mean, “we” all rely on the deer that we pierce for nourishment; without that reliance we’re nothing but lifeless dirt.