Do You Wear a Mask in Public?

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I enjoyed that poem also.

I have worn a couple of masks.

The one I started wearing first was that of a clown.
Whenever I forgot something, tripped up or bumped into things, whenever I felt like jumping around, or I was late to things, I could act up as a clown and everyone figured I did these things on purpose.

I think that early on, I realized that being seen as 'being in control' was good, but 'being out of control' was bad.
If 'they' knew I could not control certain things about my behavior, then I would be bad.
If 'they' thought I was just clowning around, they could laugh and applaud me (attention), or just tell me that I had to straighten up.
Eventually I got to be known as reckless, daring, a rebel (my mom used that one a lot), and people would stop trying to correct me.

In a way, I created a persona through which I could gain everyone's acceptance, even if it was for the wrong reasons.

Later in my adult life, I found my second mask.

I had the ability to grow a very full beard. With the beard, several things changed in my life.

Many people would avoid me if I furrowed my brow, rode my harley, stuff like that. This gave me privacy.

I'm told my eyes are quite expressive. I suppose that helped to make some folks see me as the big old lumbering bearded guy whose goofiness was attractive, again, in a clownish sort of way.

Being big, bearded and gregarious, I became a sort of friendly giant to some.

I have kept the beard off for a couple of years now... pretty much. Don't know if I'll ever grow it back, although I HATE shaving!

I just try to be invisible and blend in with society. The mask I wear is one who is quiet. I am really talkative, but no one wants to talk about the things I'm into. I can't tell jokes, because I don't know if people will get my sense of humor. No one seems to.
I want a diagnosis, so that I can reveal to everyone who's under the mask. Maybe then I can be more like myself and I won't spend all day under the EXTREME stress of trying to look normal.

Absolutely. To hide the fact that I am a sociable, charismatic, charming and intelligent individual, I pretend to be a socially inept, awkward and strange goofball when ever I am in public. That'll show them.

Absolutely lovely poem, Merle.

(By the way, is that you?)

Here's a favorite song by Roger Waters: Paranoid Eyes

button your lip don't let the shield slip
take a fresh grip on your bullet proof mask
and if they try to break down your disguise with their questions
you can hide hide hide
behind paranoid eyes
you put on your brave face and slip over the road for a jar
fixing your grin as you casually lean on the bar
laughing too loud at the rest of the world
with the boys in the crowd
you hide hide hide
behind petrified eyes
you believed in their stories of fame fortune and glory
now you're lost in a haze of alcohol soft middle age
the pie in the sky turned out to be miles too high
and you hide hide hide
behind brown and mild eyes

(Almost makes you think he might be ASpie, eh?)

Interesting that an Aspie writing a poem for fun writes much better
than many NTs who consider themselves "poets" and put on airs

The personality of any given human is too complex for anyone to not refocus their lens for the given situation.

So, assuming by 'wearing a mask' you mean outright misrepresenting myself, then no.

I do not actually think "me" HAS an interactive form.

I lately realised that most of my social life has consisted of dancing and sex, largely because I can relax while doing either, or even BOTH (as some have claimed after seeing me get a BIT carried away) without the stress of any kind of "performance".

I don't pretend or hide, it's more like choosing the right clothes to wear.

I choose a persona that will ideally assert "me" best, and most honestly, in the situation I am about to enter, but will, at least, be able to survive it unscathed.

I am usually close to "word perfect" in terms of fitting the situation, but superficial, and CLUELESS as to how to assert my actual wants and needs through the medium of the essential mask.

I think a lot of us are like that.

M

I wore a big rubber cat mask into a resturaunt once.
It made it very hard to eat.

(As far as the other kind of mask, I have never been very good at that)

Dialectical Behavioral THerapy teaches people to have a half smile - just pretend to smile a little and hold it on your face, and people will treat you better. it works. it sucks but it works. i do it all the time to handle the outside world. it makes me look less sad. and more easily ignored. i like to be ignored in social situations
L

For me, I wear a mask every day. I like to wear the mask of actors.

I do this because it's easy to memorize their lines, dialogue and actions...and mimic them in similar situations. That's how I've coped with every social interaction in my life thus far.

I think most Aspie's here will agree.

Sorry for bumping an old thread, but this is very interesting and insightful.

The comments about joker/clown masks make sense since humor is kind of social shortcut. I tried to be the class clown in elementary school. And stevechoi brings up a good point. I've gotten a lot of help with affect from TV. (Though that can lead to picking up accents if I'm not careful.)

And I've wondered if people wear their "masks" here since for a while. What with all the idioms and sarcasm and imprecise language in use (not that I'm criticizing). I've started to wear my "mask" here just to better keep up/blend-in.

demasqué I am tired of hiding myself without benefit

Who is that masked person? topic

I never saw this thread before, as it finsihed before I joined. So wehn I saw the word "mask" I took it literally that someone would actually wear a mask. I have seen persons who wore gas masks or surgical masks due to fear of pollutants, allergens or even germ warfare.

sorry for resurrecting a dead thread, but . . .

I feel like I've been wearing a mask so long that i don't know what's underneath it anymore.

Does anyone have any suggestions on how to figure out how much of "me" is actually ME, and how much is illusion?