"Outgrowing" Aspegers

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There are many accounts (autobiographical etc) of those who are AS blending in more with age, but no one seems to be studying adult outcomes seriously.

Tried to fit in as best I could in an area of ability. What was encountered caused sickness (literally; it's in my medical records). It was a result of seeing plainly whatever negligence, lies, etc there were, including being a magnet for them. Would observe meetings where negligence and lies were apparent... others not appearing to see what was going on (they might have been good actors). And this was not a bad environment, but a typical one. My work got plagiarised by an academic who kept coming up with new reasons to reject publication, but people could only unofficially acknowledge it. It contributed to months of stress illness. Other bad stuff went on too.

When younger, would feel sick after encountering social and occupational environments and could not identify the triggers (as I can now), for years having inexplicable reactions to what others perceived as benign.

You can't grow out of AS as the older you get the more you pick up and learn. Unfortunately some of these things you learn are easoily picked up by many at an early age. There will be the occassional problem.

Well, I do work in a technical profession, therefore the people around me tend to be the logical thoughtful type. However, I have asked a couple of people who I trust to give me an honest opinion and they indicated that they saw nothing strange in my behavior.

The difference between passing as NT and actually being NT is clear to me. In my original post I did indicate that I had to have considerable quiet time as part of my life. Definately need that time in order to be functional in my environment. I will never be NT, but perhaps external appearances are the marker that is used to determine if someone has outgrown being Aspegers. Since I have seen the phrase of outgrowing Aspegers in several places I was curious as to what is actually meant by it.

It does surprise me that blanket negative statements are used with broad strokes to describe NTs. Yes, there is a significant population of people who act as described, but I really don't think that most non apsie/autistic people do that. We just notice the ones who do, because it does not make sense. I don't think that being on the autism sprectrum automatically makes one morally superior - as is implied on some of the posts.

I think there are bad sides to being extreme in either direction -- NT and AS. Both have their pluses and minuses, and I find it most beneficial to me to try to take advantage of the pluses as much as possible while minimizing the minuses. It requires some very tricky balancing, since it's so easy to slip in one direction or the other.

I don't think one can ever "outgrow" AS. As Aspies we have a large capability of learning and logical thinking, and as we grow older and learn and experience more, we understand more and our personality reflects that maturity and understanding. As somebody posted earlier, the skills that NTs take for granted will never come naturally to us; we can approximate those skills as best we can but it will practically never be on par with a very gregarious talkative super-empathizer. Also using those skills takes energy, and we need our "me time" of being alone in our comfort zone to recharge that energy. The super-empathizers get a recharge of energy just being around people, quite the opposite of an Aspie's needs.

I'd say -- Be happy with yourself! AS or NT, severe or mild or good mix... you were genetically given some amazing positive qualities that will serve you and other people well, when used effectively. Keep in mind though that you were also genetically given some equally astounding weaknesses, which you can improve upon with your life experience and intelligence. Good and bad, two sides of the same coin.

Yes, It's quite common but it's by no means the rule. Aspies who don't focus on their special interest or have interests which don't easily translate to the working environment can often leave unfulfilled lives.

Those who do succeed don't outgrow aspergers. You never lose the traits, you just learn how to hide them.

The most help I received was when I took acting lessons. I learned how to act NT, or close enough to it that people don't get put off by my Aspie wierdness.

There is clinical evidence that suggests that even those with more severe aspects of autism actually do get 'better' over time as they age and this is supposed to be very true for Aspie's. I actually don't think we get 'better' at all but as others have posted just 'learn' to 'appear' to be more like regular people. In my own case I easily recognized over time that I was gettig much better at adding what I called 'overlays' to my personality that made it easier to get along in the regular world because I could blend in so to speak. I'm 59 and still very much if not more of an Aspie than I was as a kid but much better at not appearing so strange to others.

Growing into AS topic

I beg to differ. As I age, I am becoming more "true to type" and I am becoming who I am, in the words of Sartre.

I am comfortable with my Asperger's and will never again pretend I am a NT.

As an aspie, I am growing out with my AS and I am happy for the first time of my life. All the peices fit and now I feel a sense of wholeness.

I hope others find their own acceptance in their own way.

I think that if were're about half way in the middle of the spectrum (however you define it) that there is tendency that you appear to be outgrowing the condition but only because you learn how better to function in the regular-people world. In reality I think that inside as you grow you only actually become even more stranger than 'normal' people but you can hide it when you need to. The brain is not a static thing and it does change and evolve over time and our mental processes certainly aren't static.

I don't see it as 'outgrowing' Aspergers. I think my brain remains the same, and thus my AS remains the same. I see it as learning to adapt to society in my own way - finding my own routes, compatible with my own brain, to achieve the things that NT's achieve in their own way. It's like there are certain survival skills in society, and NTs develop them in an instinctive way, while Aspies develop them through intellect and observation. So while on the surface I can often just about pass for an NT, I am actually nothing like them inside. I'm just displaying certain behaviours.

But there is part of me that wonders whether I adapt too much, and whether I exhaust myself doing so, and whether maybe it would be better if I could be free to be myself more openly, even though I would appear odd, and maybe disabled, to others. But that would be disabling for me in many ways in society. It's a hard balance to find.

I've adopted what I call the 'chameleon' method where I can become just about anything that anybody thinks they need to see so I've become pretty good at blending in when I have to. I don't find it exhausting since I look at it as a game. The outside is just a shell people need to see in order to feel safe.

i cannot outgrow my neurological wiring, but i can learn to adapt ^.^ x

I am 53 years old, and as my Psychiatrist said ,just a month ago, "firmly on the spectrum".
I have built and learned to use-many shells. (round and round they go were is the pea?)
But I ,even when successfull at passing as nt, am still very aspie. The roles i have to play
to get by at work- leave me drained. There is not enough time in the day for me to prepare
for that work portion of the day. Or to recover from it. I am told by the few acquantances I
have (what is a freind?) that they would never guess that i am an aspie. (truth? do not know)
yet i do know, that from the way they treat me at work,that they do not think i am entirly-"there".
Again as my Psychiatrist wrote to my doctor "(he has learned how to act "normal" over the years,
but with great effort)" Yes those quote marks around normal have to be there becouse the normal
that i manage to portray is not the same normal as seen by your typical nt. the doctor said that he
is amazed that i am gainfully employed and have been for years. (so am i but for different reasons.)
I am amazed that i have not gone insane.(perhapes i have.) outgrow it? no not I, at least not yet-
nor in the forseeable future.