The Dino-Aspie Cafe (for Those 40+... or feeling creaky)

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Hi nannarob. Give my regards to the family. I'm off with the lions (hopefully, not inside them) until Monday. I guess I'll have at least six pages of cafe to read through by then. (Maybe only five, 'cos my pageful won't be among them.)

Anyway... time is ticking on. I just missed one bus. I'll probably be gone on the next one, in an hour's time. What to do with one hour to spare and one post that will take me to 999? Do I fritter away that post, then, unable to restrain myself, do another and tip myself over into the 1,000? Do I husband it to the last minute, and leave my post count on 999 for two days?

...

Hey! What's up?

I'm 43 and just learning about Aspergers. Wrongplanet.com looks great so far.

Hello Johnk. Welcome to the Dino Aspie Cafe. Seems like no one is about as it is such a beautiful Spring Day. There's a plate of fresh jelly donuts on the table under the window. Help yourself.
I'm sure the regulars will be dropping in by and by. If you know how to work the cappuccino machine, by all means, help yourself to a cup. The WC is over in the far corner behind that huge potted plant.

So, I see you are a librarian. I just order a bunch of books by Rainer Maria Rilke. Seems to be my newest obsession.

In case you're wondering, everybody starts off as an emu egg. It's all avian inspired. You matriculate according to the number of posts you make. I think tufted tit-mouse is next and then yellow bellied woodpecker. Nice way to spend a Saturday afternoon, huh?

Hi JohnK! Welcome. "Coffee dude, get JohnK some java," Zanne says. I share my coffee dude so just ask him if you want something. Welcome to the dino Aspie crowd!

Merle he hangs all over me all the time and tells everyone I'm "his girl" and he "loves me." Ack. He might as well be put to good use if he's going to act like that and get on my last nerve.

If you haven't figured it out, coffee dude is actually a man (boy really in his 20's or something) who works in the coffee shop at my work. He's an embarassment, so I brought him here and put him to work. It helps me deal with him. Watch him though. He's a toucher. EEEKKKK!! !! !

[quote="Rjaye"]Oh, man, I was heading for a meltdown, but managed to get a friend to help me calm down. Sometimes, just having someone in my house breaks up my freaking out, and slows my spiraling into a tornado by making me have to reorient.]



I have found it makes a world of difference to just have my BF here....to keep me from getting lost in my own thoughts and anxieties.When I lived alone,I tended to get so caught up in ruminating and having someone to bounce these thoughts off,can break this cycle.It doesnt matter if he says anything,I just need to get the thoughts out of my head.....isnt that what psychs really get paid for...to be your "friend"?



[I had too much to do this week, but I was able to stop, say what is going to kill me and what isn't, what's the most important, and what's not, and even though I feel like a semitruck has been driving over me all week, I made it, and am actually kind of proud of myself. The last time I went through this, I got into it with my youngest niece, which was horrifying as she didn't deserve that. This time, cool. I was able to say to people a little of what was going on, and they knew something was up.

Does anyone ever get into these states, and just don't know what the hell is causing it? I know I'm busy, and have some pretty stressful things going on, but it seems the "upset" isn't easily identifiable--am I mad, scared, anxious...the anxious is usually my first choice, as it fits with the busy, busy, busy.]




I feel like I have spent my life "holding my breath".....just trying to make it to the next "down time" when I can breath again.I am a shallow breather by nature?and often have to remind myself to .....breath.There is some theory that that is an element in smoking.....it makes you take deeper breaths(to bad it's deep breath of death,ah well)and that some urges to smake are really a desire to breath....?

I keep my life very "simple".I could never....take care of the house and kids,work and go to school while trying to juggle a social life.....I wont be needing a PDA,anytime soon....If I cant fit my obligations on the palm of my hand,then it is to much.






Sorry about your week.....most definitely....pat yourself on the back(like kissing yourself on the ass,takes some flexibility).I find it very helpful to congratulate myself on doing the simplest things(for other people),like making a DR appt,remembering it and actually showing up.....that's three places the process could have gone "wrong".




[I really thing there's something to how the brain is processing things, and how we as Aspies perceive things. I often find patterns in textures, like linen or wall treatments, tiles, or leaves. And I have heard radio frequencies too. It's so odd.]




I think this is why I prefer things close up.I can see a pretty scene but it is like looking at a nice picture.It's only when I can smell the moss and see the patterns in the bark,that I feel "connected" to the material world.All of my sense feel engaged.




[Yeah, why don't those idiot researchers do research on adult, and I mean ADULT, Aspies, and find out how we've made it, or not made it. For crying out loud--we come with more experience, and a wide variety of coping mechanisms. Or is it because we'll call into question the stupid ideas some of these people have about Asperger's]


There are adults with AS?You wouldnt know it from any media coverage.Research is expensive.They rarely do it unless someone can see an opportunity to make money.



(This is my forst attempt at responding like this in "quoting"...my apoligies if I did it wrong.)

ZN, Does Coffee Dude KNOW that he's working here? Warning, Coffee Dude, if you bug ZN too much, I'll flip on my Vampy Tramp switch and scare you with your own tactics, and trust me, dude, you CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH.

Hi, John K. Welcome. If the muffins don't have bran, they might have dried plums...the new, hip (replacement) term for the fruit-formerly-known-as-prunes.


CosmicCat, gotta say, Rilke reigns supreme. I've never found another poet who expresses some of the things he does. Understatement of the year, of course. Ineffable, evanescent, eternal.

And regarding what you said about the extreme intimacy of looking into people's eyes...for sure. It's almost like I've had to learn how to NOT make it such an intimate thing, which of course, is not really possible. But if we try hard enough, we can usual convince ourselves of most things, eh?

Lau, if I were a kid, I'd follow you ANYWHERE!

DD

Hi, Dinos! Just wanted to share something positive You were all so supportive when I told about the noisy neighbor. I e-mailed my landlord, who is still out of town and after informing him of neighbors antics, I asked to transfer to another house. Well, turns out he'd already rented it out (these units go quickly) but he promised that he would speak to my neighbor. Well, he e-mailed me back, and not only did he talk to him, he got him to agree to stop having guests over in the wee hours, and he (landlord) will send his handyman to look at the neighbor's front door. It seems that it is necessary to slam it hard to get it to stay closed. And that has been part of the problem. Every time they would slam it, I would jump a mile.

Tonight, some guy came to my door, introduced himself, and then told me that they were throwing a party next door, (at a different house) and that he'd just come to warn me! I'm still processing this. Never have I been shown such consideration before, either by landlords or tenants. He begged me to let him know if the noise got too extreme, and to please come and let him know, and not call the cops! I promised. He then told me that the music would Latin/Salsa mix. I said if it really sounded good, I wouldn't mind to much. (He doesn't know about the huge box of earplugs I have)

I am still dazed. Maybe I did the right thing, coming to the South, after all. People are definitely more polite here than up North. Of course, being an Aspie, I asked him how long the party would go for. He didn't know. It was also hard to remember to smile, but the girl who had accompanied him was grinning so hard, that I imitated her facial expression. Social smiles are not easy for me, but if someone else does it first, it's sort of a reflex, like when someone puts out their hand to shake, and you grab it even when you don't want to.

Look, coffee dude told everyone he wanted to come home with me and make my coffee. Dh would kill him for sure. Keeping him here is a compromise. If he wants to hang around, he gets no say. Bothering me gets you shuffled off to a useful place where I can contain you and you won't cause trouble. (that is the impersonal and universal "you" there) For some reason some NT men just want to follow me around. I have to have a plan to deal with them.

Oh, we also have lawn dude who is now taking care of the plant in the corner and will be landscaping outside soon. I had to move dh next door as we are too messy and crowded for him. I brought him over, but he immediately wanted to put everything in the right order and clean everything. Just about the time he was taking down the air vents to wash them, I decided it wasn't a good idea to have him in complete control of "our" environment. Unlike me, some of you may actually have opinions about our space.

I am really glad you got such response from your landlord! Matter of fact, I am envious, because after the flood in my apartment and my own nightmare of them not compensating me or even giving a good golly g****mn, and the threat of black mold spreading - I am now packing to move next week.

GAWD I hate it, and I don't have anyone to help, so wrassling the bed into the truck is the hardest part. Oh, yeah, and then wrassleing it out again and up the steps.

So the house is all torn up again with big boxes and I am packing one more time. Where I am going might work out well, but then I thought that about this place.

we shall perservere. . .hey, coffee dude, I will let you touch all the boxes and matresses you want, come on over!

Merle

who is close to 500 posts