The Dino-Aspie Cafe (for Those 40+... or feeling creaky)

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I've been rolling that around in my head some. Just how did I learn to manuvre in the outer world. I discovered some thing I didn't like. I can look at them now an understand why I did them. They were failed attempts at getting into the herd. They didn't fail really, I guess i came to the conclusion that the herd wasn't really a nice place. So I find myself wincing at some of my past. Acting like the herd, doing what had been done to me. No undoing it, it is past. I will not shoulder it, it isn't healthy. It's still interesting though. Pretty sure I see some of it around these here parts. this place is indeed healthy.

I feel better now. damn drunks anyway, grrrr. tempted to let the air out of his tires. Maybe I still better take the chill pill

Gosh! How did people with brains cope before the web existed? I'm sure I've forgotten.

What follows is a sequence that could not have happened in the past, or even anything similar, unless I'd happened to be sitting in the reading room of the British Museum (which I have done), and even then it would have taken days, probably to discover none of it anyway.

Pondering the theme, on another thead, of reading speed, I was thinking of posting a comment about my favourite authors (and how even they didn't write fast enough to satisfy my appetite for reading). Two of these favoured authors are Michael Moorcock and Piers Anthony. They are both prolific (well, MM for a while). I got to wondering who has been most prolific, ever. A quick Google got Most Prolific Authors.

Naturally, you can't stop (well, I can't)... and when I noticed Barbara Cartland at number 18, out of respect, I looked her up. I'm glad I did. It improved my slightly dim view of her, and I was amazed that she sold her 1,000,000,000th book in the nineties.

Back to the trivia site for a little more amusement. Things like "The 66 two letter words allowed in Scrabble" (which includes none of the Chambers "vowel+y"-less words, such as "sh").

What I was still after was more like "The Most Prolific Living Authors". I thought my Piers might just slot in there.

What I found seemed to be something that I thought I'd find highly contentious, and I did. It seemed to be saying "The 25 best books ever written in the west", but that was my brian doing some editing.

I peruse the newsgroup alt.math.recreational, but seldom does it make me laugh:

:)

[quote=postpaleo]The Wife just reminded me. Squating can lead to serious posion ivy rash.

Poison Oak.
Poison Oak is what we have West of the Rocky Mountians. Although I have had poison ivy, which was a pale and dry rash compared with Poison Oak, and I have heard of the ravages of Posion Sumac, I have been hospitalized with Poison Oak several times. The worst was when I fell on some oozing stumps of the pruned stems and virtually injected the sap into my thigh muscle. I became a lumpy oatmealed sort of being with every lymph glad swollen and my life forfitable for any sort of releif either internal or external.

So when someone says "oh, I took a pee in the woods and got posion oak!' it might sound humorous, but I can swear to you, with some of us, it is not.

serious as a heart attack,
Merle

I feel almost envious of all your "poison" bits. There's not much here that harmful. A few rare fungi. The odd irritant snake. The "Beast of Bodmin Moor" that my brother-in-law had to stop his van to let across the road.

What you reminded me about was on an episode of "Mythbusters". One of the vodka myths they tested: that it could counteract poison oak. It turned out that none of the regular team were (safely) allergic to it. They had to drag in one of their researchers to test it. The vodka didn't cure it. I love that program.

have you ever felt so low you can't quite get the words out?
lately I can't even be bothered to type it out.

I even took off Monday from work, because I am feeling so very low...

Merle

Posion oak, my bad, forgot that one too. Splinter in your skin, damn don't even want to think about that one. Snakes weren't a Jersy problem. Needed to watch for them when in coal country, they're pretty timid, unless you startle them. But when in coal country, we almost always had someone with snake pants on to lead the way. Killed a baby in the back yard, didn't get to the one that struck at the wife. He was still cold and not to fast, only glanced off her sneaker. They won't warn you when cold and sometimes it depends on when they have shed their skin. They're protected now, but not in my back yard they aren't. Only seen them very recently in the yard, almost always when it's dry. Their different habitats come close, so shouldn't be a huge surprise they might show up rarely. They taste like chicken. Also forgot to mention ticks, they liked the Jersey Jungle and us. Lucked out and didn't have to deal with Lime's Disease, several of the regular crew didn't get that lucky. I suppose that too would fall into the occupational hazard family. We tested for Lime's often though, better sooner then later. Company should have paid for it. Unions and union busting, secret meetings in the night. I wore my Union shirt with pride, but then I'm not to bright when it comes to my rage against the machine, sometimes.

"Beast of Bodmin Moor" ? Drunk tin miner?

Mythbusters are seriously good, poor Jamie.

Rare fungi? Wow, now that suprises me. I recall a tree trimer, trimed/cut the trees that were a bother to the power lines. He came in the house with a fungi that no one could identify, so he brought it to Dad. He said he had only seen it on oaks and only on one side of them, north I believe. My Dad, of course, (Aspise?, he had a lot of the symptons, freakin math wiz, his obsessive "hobbies" taught me a lot) had to know what it was. The only real way is with a spore sample. He did it and it pointed to an edible fungi. Now I don't care who you are, you have to have a fair amount of guts or lack of brains, to eat something that you've never seen. Something that your own judgement is the only key to living or getting sick or dying. I suppose it could have had an "up side" too. There are a huge amount of things that live around these parts that will out right kill you in that family. He ate some, we all watched, he didn't die, so we trid it too. Tasted like chicken. The only one I can tell safely are puffballs, the kind you get to squeeze when dry and watch all the spores float out, but you need to find them young. Tastes like chicken.

Yep. I'm so overwhelmed and depressed I can't do a thing - even feed myself.

Though reading that mythbusters page on wikipedia provided a nice yet brief period of feeling better.

I live in a very hazardous place. I don't have the energy to go through many, but will try to tell one story. Bufo toads (Bufo marinus, is the scientific name I think) are prevelant in this area. When it rains we have seen a dozen at once in our driveway. One night we noticed our golden retriever acting weird. He couldn't stand up on his own, and when we lifted him up to standing, his back end was paralyzed. He was salivating and his gaze was unfocused. Obviously poisoned. I quickly flashed on the dessicated, flattened toad that I had seen on the lanai early that day, that I had thrown back out into the yard. Did some quick internet research and discovered these toads are poisonous and deadly to dogs. Washed Makai's mouth out with baking soda and water to neutralize it. Had to carry him out to pee for a few days. Took him about a week to fully recover. He hasn't touched another toad since.

Rumor has it that people here purposefully ingest bufo toxin to get high, and that one guy was so high on it that he jumped off a cliff, landed on a tree with skewered him from the groin up, and he's now paralyzed and in a wheelchair.

Well that was another welcome diversion from depression.

Right. That's it. Someone's gotta stop the slide.

I will now, this instant, come up with something so blindingly clever and funny that it'll snap everyone (me included) out of this all too serious patch.

This cafe is supposed to be a fun place. None of this hiding in the corner, nursing a cold cup of java. Let's get out on the dance floor!

Knees up mother Brown. The Hookie-Kookie. I'm willing to make a spectacle of myself. (Obviously, as I've done a bit of line dancing).

Everyone got their motorised Zimmer frames turned on? Let's start!

You put your left wheel in, your left wheel out.
In, out, in, out, shake it all about....

Isn't anyone going to join in?


A wander to make sure I'd got Hookie-Kookie right led me to "A letter to the makers of viagra from a drug user". There were other amusements on the site...
"I must say that I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library and read a book."

When I was very young, I got a bad case of poison Ivy everywhere (and I do mean everywhere). It was pretty awful. Then I heard an "old wives tale" that you could develop immunity by eating it. Well, I tried it, and it seems to have worked. After being exposed, I would get a slight rash, but never anything serious. I wonder if the same would work with Oak?

The worst natural problem that I ran into was Lyme's Disease. Got it in the damned suburbs too. I don't allow my blood to be taken, so it was a while before I got the correct treatment. Doesn't seem to have done any lasting harm (though what I may consider just 'age' may be effects of the disease).



I feel this way most of the time. Maybe we should form a haven for Aspies. I always dreamed of a sort of high-tech commune, but maybe it could branch out to more than just that.

Okay, all.

It's the weekend. We DO need some diversion from our...diversions. And depressions.

So, DD, who has decompressed substantially, has whipped up some amazing lemon tarts with raspberry coulee and freshly whipped, ever-so-light sweetened heavy cream.

I've also made banana-chocolate-chip muffins and snickerdoodles. And, find a large pot of soothing, creamy, basil-laced tomato soup on the stove; there are old-fashioned like mom-used-to-make grilled cheese sandwiches on a plate in the oven, and baby carrots and broccoli and a little veggie dip on the counter.

Pour yourself a big old glass of fresh, organic milk, produced by our dairy. Grab a bowl and plate of the good stuff. Settle in for some comfort food and a little quiet in which to digest it.

After a brief nap the cafe's cozy couches, look forward to the early floorshow: Maj. Mac MacDougall of the Bagpiping MacDougalls and his clairvoyant bordie collie, KIPPER!

See you all as the hunger hits.

DD

PS Hope to see you SinsBoldly and Aylissa. You could use a fun night at the cafe.

Since my travels with the pygmys story hasn't been fully functional yet and for all your sakes you best it never does. I will admit to belonging to this little spot. I will not give out my user name here. This link is not for those that do not care for "bathroom" humor.

http://groups.google.com/group/alt.roun ... 3cc6f59a96

You don't allow your blood to be taken? Tell me about it? Because my doc is dancing on my head for blood tests and I've said I won't.

Synchronicity, anybody? Do you believe in coincidences? For example, my phone number ends in 0312. My new apartment is #312. My present address is 5785 and my new address will be 5875 (different streets). To tell you the truth, I don't believe in coincidences any more. When I saw those numbers (*and* liked the new apartment) I didn't hesitate, I just signed the lease.

Does this sort of thing ever happen to you?

I've come up with a semi-religious belief, and am able to convince them that this trumps any need for them to draw blood. I had an understanding doctor though - if not, I'd probably be paralyzed.