Anyone else struggle with Therapists?

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I too have had a lot of bad experiences with therapists and for a long time, I had the same views as most of those expressed here. I have had CBT therapy, EMDR therapy and DBT therapy. I never had a therapist who understood ASD, I was fortunate that for a time I had a primary care doctor who understood ASD and she was very helpful. I have learned much from other people, both autistic and NT. Most of what I have learned has come in bits and pieces. I find myself fortunate to now have several healthy longterm relationships and a number of friendships, but it has taken me a long time to get here.

Here is how I have found therapy to be useful. 1. EMDR allowed me to effectively process traumatic memories. 2. CBT taught me how to deal with stress and taught me better coping skills. 3. DBT taught me about the processing of emotions. Before I never thought I needed help in that area, but once I learned explicitly how to process and validate emotions, I was very surprised to see how my life improved. I didn't realize how much time I was spending on dealing with negative emotions - until I learned how to just deal with them and move on. I never could figure "how to move on" and now I knew. I was able to reprocess my past, make peace with it and go on. The end result was that I had more energy and it was easier to understand. It wasn't the therapist that was helpful as much as the techniques of the class, I know of one Aspie who used the DBT workbook and achieved similar results. I found the people in the DBT class useful even though they weren't Aspies.

I hope that as more therapists become knowledgeable about ASD, that they will develop therapies that are specific to ASD. I think therapy that is inclusive of effective behavior health strategies plus improving social / communication abilities, teaching strategies for managing sensory issues, sensitivities to environmental factors and better executive skills functioning - whatever the individual chooses to work on. I would like to see such therapy also include training on how we can better teach NTs about us. It would have to be multi-disciplinary by nature (elements of psychology, speech pathology & occupational therapy), so I doubt it will happen any time soon.

I used to think "Why have a therapist when I have friends I can talk to?" But I understand now that a therapist is not meant to be a friend. A therapist's job is to get you to work on stuff you'd rather not deal with, stuff that for whatever reason you can't deal with on your own. If a therapist doesn't understand ASD, then they aren't very useful because then they are working off the wrong script. A good therapist is going to build trust, but then they are going to push you out of your comfort zone. I've learned that the more responsibility a patient takes for doing their own work, the more they will get out of therapy. I noticed that many people I was in the class were too vested in their relationship with the therapist as opposed to working on the therapy itself. It didn't appear that they were progressing. I went into it with clear goals and it worked for me. I finished a year long course in 7 months. I continue to set personal goals for myself but it is harder and longer without someone else to hold me accountable. I wouldn't mind going back for more, if I found a therapist like what I mentioned above.