What is the biggest lie about Aspies?

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Wow, you got that right Joe90.
When I started this thread, I didn't realise how many lies thre were.

It think tat every one that try's to say how aspies ar is wrong!

Iff you know one Aspie you know one Aspie.

I have the impression that Autists and Aspies differs more than NT's do.
One of the traits that comer with lack of social skills!

I think the one that is most annoying is that all aspies have an extreme MALE brain. How can this be if we can be more likely to be asexual, gay etc. And what is a male brain anyway? The general idea of male characteristics is totally wrong these days- we need to allow men to be themselves, not feel like they have to fit into their stereotype of being selfish, insensitive, purely logical etc. I think a lot of women are naturally like this anyway, it's just social acceptable for them to appear that way. I love this description of male/female characteristics...

Link

My theory is that aspergers is just an EXTREME BRAIN, with lots of different variants, and A LOT of things which don't seem to make sense in their personalities. For example, my partner has dyspraxia and TERRIBLE handwriting but taught himself to play the guitar beautifully with little effort. He is a talented sound engineer whose teacher told him he was tone deaf, and did not achieve at school but is mega intelligent. This is why we have no sense of self- we are very changeable depending on our experience or situation. Aside from sensory problems, those who experience a lot of trauma as children could end up being good at dealing with massive stress, appearing to maintaining control, and those who are mollycoddled will be scared to experience ANYTHING because new things get harder to deal with as we get older.
The spectrum is a SPECTRUM. There are NO visible traits which are common to all of us- even actor-type aspies don't appear to be socially awkward, but they FEEL it and it takes too much energy for them to compensate without other areas of their brain being neglected. We just take in more information than others and have to focus our energy into creating coping mechanism neurons in particular areas of the brain- we can't physically make enough connections to compensate for all the extra info were processing so were obviously going to spend more time on the areas involved in partaking in our interests. I think we also have different (not better/worse) links between our conscious/subconscious, and life has too much information to think of it all in "language". That's how we sometimes know something but don't know how we got to the answer. We think in abstract concepts and that can make us very black and White thinkers, but it could also make you the OPPOSITE- totally unable to pick a side of the fence because you see all of the arguments, not just the one which would benefit you and your immediate family (which a lot of NTs and some black-and-white aspies/auties do). Most arguments are actually quite evenly balanced when you look at them in soooooo much detail.Male female yin yang

Last edited by AlienorAspie on 18 May 2014, 5:50 am, edited 1 time in total.

Sorry, forgot to post my link in! ...

Male/female

Haha Can u tell I struggle with computers at the moment ?(I was an "IT monitor" at school ) x

You may feel that way, but I don't. I suffer mainly from lacking social insight, much more than from sensory issues (which are withholding me from eating strawberries, well, I can live without...). I'm still learning socially but I'm behind. And that's what's impacting my quality of life the most.

There's a huge diversity on the spectrum which is why I never disclose my autism unless it's really required. People won't understand that I'm NOT (like) their cousin, or that I'm still AS despite the fact that I'm not like their former neighbour who was autistic and so on...

Interesting thread. I often feel dehumanised, hearing and reading what many have to say.

Totally agree. That's the one thing that does not make any sense to me. I, and every suspected male Aspie all can act more 'feminine' than 'masculine' at times and have been mistaken as gay even though I have no gender confusion issues and am VERY attracted to women. I also feel more comfortable around women but that doesn't mean I have a clue how to relate to them.

Goodness me. Reading through this thread has made me feel a lot better then I was an hour ago.

A Lie about Aspies Professionally
That Aspies succeeding and integrating in the workplace are on medication!

A Lie about Aspies Socially
Those jokes our NT friends tell about our awkwardness, missteps and the times we put our foot in it don't hurt. After all, we don't seem to be hurt![\b]

A lie we tell ourselves
That as we get older, the social aspects of life will get easier and the NT's will be more understanding...

I've just red two contradicting properties of aspies, listed one after another on some non-english website (I'll try to translate it precisely):
- Highly developed logical thinking. The ability to invent unique solutions to problems.
- Schematic way of thinking. High persistence, even obstinacy in pursuit of certain goals.

What the heck?

One does not discount the diversity of the spectrum.
No one knows unless I tell them either, though I suspect I'm more open about it than you might be.
One IS, however, asserting that the social symptoms are caused by physical differences in sensory processing wiring & patterns in the brains of autistics which prevent us, to a greater or lesser degree, from perceiving & implementing the same social cues, rules, implications, and non-verbal communications which most allistics take for granted.
Rather than being the core features of the disorder, the social & behavioral issues are symptoms of a neurological difference related to how our brains intake & process sensory information differently than the brains of allistics.

Granted, it may seem like the more overt sensory issues are less pressing than the social ones, but it's important to understand that as an autistic, ones' perceptions, especially of social interactions, are as a whole fundamentally different than those of allistics.
By realizing that, and delibertately paying closer attention to & thinking about those things intently we can observe, understand, and learn many of those things.

Just my opinion, but there's a growing body of scientific data which seems to support it.

Logic doesn't preclude creativity, it frees & defines it by validating the internal consistency of creative, unique constructs, and in terms of coding allows for all the creative, complex, interconnected functionalities of computers.
Without logic, all the creativity computers allow would dissolve into meaningless chaos.

Sure, art & poetry try to point at truth without logic, but otherwise if you want to know what's real, it's the only tool we have.

it seems like it could be in part confirmation bias in the scientists studying it. it's easier for them to pick out the traits or recognize the ones they identify with because they have them, science is unfortunately stereotyped as masculine, so they link the traits they identify with to maleness.

i mean, i think there are a lot of traits that they just don't look for, ones that could potentially be called feminine. although i hope they drop the whole thing all together.

tbh, the male brain thing totally bothers me because i perceive it as being fundamentally unfair to label me with something that i didn't ask for and don't want. i agree, it bothers me because "male" as used in this case is so ill defined as to be meaningless. it seems the traits of being concerned with things being wrong or unfair is pretty common with ASD and not gendered.

for what it's worth, i know as a kid on the myers-briggs test i was INTJ (scientist), but that was sticking to a rigid system in order to protect myself. as i got older and in better, safer environments, it went INTP, INFJ then INFP and sometimes phases of ISFP. always an introvert. i feel it's nice to be able to use all these different methods of experiencing things, but i would never go back to INTJ full time because that was the best of a bunch of bad alternatives. i was really closed off in order to slow down all that was coming at me.

now that isn't to say INTJ is bad or it's not an approximation of someone's nature, but i think it's reasonable to assume that most kids on the spectrum are at a period of high stress and that will manifest as changes to their nature. seems backwards to make the behavior judgments at that point in their life as it's in a state of duress.

i'm not saying this is what it feels like exactly, but it'd be like finding a veteran or suffer of domestic violence with ptsd and describing their behavior in terms of their fundamental nature. i think everyone would recognize that as ridiculous and hardly one that paints an accurate picture.

they say that ASD adults "blend in" better because they learn more mimicry methods and i find that to be hurtful and backwards too. it's like, no, i'm finally in a place where i don't feel stressed and frightened (what feels like) all the time and i've been fortunate enough to be able put in the hard work to get over many past stresses. in a way, it's like reverse childhood after having a bad experience for so long, i think the contrast has given me a more positive outlook on life. anyway, my point is that the way i am now is a more accurate representation of my nature than when i was young.

a world where everything is all figured out seems like it'd be kind of horrible. what would you wonder about? wonder if there are any books imagining that.

noise is all frequencies at equal volume - or you could look at it all matter condensed into a single point that expands in a positive feedback loop because of fundamental laws. we could be living in a determined stochastic system.

anyway, back to the question, for me, it's how my imagination works. my imagination is more like combining ideas and extrapolating on an intuitive level. then when i look back in hindsight the imagination seems logical. tbh, i don't feel like i've ever thought of anything unique, but a few people have told me that, so...

it's like the telephone just put together a lot of things that already existed and it's both a logical and a unique solution.

or i've made a reasoned decision that using and cultivating intuition is useful to me. so that's using both logic and i dunno,
"non-linear processing".

Schema:


so you can take your schemas and interconnect them in anyway you like, yeah? the more free you are with interconnecting the more you subvert stereotype and the more people perceive it as unique.

i use schemas sometimes when processing stuff, holding onto the thoughts and keeping them around as rigid rules afterwards, not so much. i see it like having a hypothesis, setting up your variables and assumptions, which are your schemas, and then the experiment is what comes out when you connect those schemas.

hmm, that makes it sound more rigid and involved than it is. it's like, things that taste good: chocolate, peanut butter. what happens when i combine them. so that's not unique, but...

tbh, i'm not really thinking in words when i do it so writing the process out doesn't really capture it.

That it is a disease or something more than a difference.
That it is a burden on society.

That we are ret*d. Don't believe it when they are trying to paste us as that, its just bias.

An Aspie co - worker was being fired in my organization. The female manager, a bright CPA who recruited the top 10% of accounting students said "we can't have people who are ret*d in our organization, of course you can't say that." And this said to an HR person (like two hit men planning a kill). She later became a CFO at another company. The 52 year old co worker was replaced by someone half his age via a PIP (performance imporevement plan which was nothing more than a vicious propoganda package to pull the trigger on something which had been decided months before - I had seen the document saying "to be terminated" in third quarter by his name they had on their excel sheet for employees in the organization months before the PIP was initiated. This man had been bumped by downsizing into her department, lucky guy huh.

I believe the woman was a liar and a fraud. She even changed up his job into something which was not really do-able. She had one set of performance standards for the 52 year old and another for the 25 year old who she indicated she would promote in the third quarter after the 52 year old was fired and this when the 25 year old had been on board only two weeks! How in the world does one make these kind of plans unless they are biased. Don't let some sleazy lying scum trash you as being ret*d.

The 52 yo co worker got a better, higher paying job after the firing.

that we are worse than the nts. on the contrary we are better. we are honest. they are not. and this is the major difference. they lie as a rule. we lie when we really need to lie. also,we are deep while most of them are suprficial.