Do You Wear a Mask in Public?

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chessimprov
Toucan
Toucan

Joined: 11 Jun 2010
Age: 46
Gender: Male
Posts: 295
Location: Philadelphia

21 Jun 2010, 12:11 am

another_1 wrote:

sorry for resurrecting a dead thread, but . . .

I feel like I've been wearing a mask so long that i don't know what's underneath it anymore.

Does anyone have any suggestions on how to figure out how much of "me" is actually ME, and how much is illusion?

Well there are at least a couple of ways to look at things. You could be thinking that whatever you're not willing to say or show to another person is simply an illusion. However, you could instead or also say that at least some of the illusions are a part of you because you choose to perform the illusion because you enjoy tricking people and not because you are using it as a defense mechanism. The person that is going to know all that the most is you! So it really depends on your intentions. If you are unsure of your intentions, then I would assume that it's all you. I wouldn't worry about it regardless of the results either.

Just try to live life if nothing else. And if you don't know what to do, try "saving a whale or something." :lol:

suki21
Tufted Titmouse

Joined: 15 Nov 2009
Age: 50
Gender: Female
Posts: 42

13 Jul 2010, 1:38 pm

sinsboldly wrote:

I have a little secret I wear upon my face
I keep it very near to me in a most convenient place.
I hope you do not guess it, you might take me to task
I take it out and put it on, it's my "normal" NT mask!

It keeps the world from pressing in; it makes me look like you!
I wear it so easily you won’t believe that it's not true
I laugh and nod and make my mouth do what passes for a smile
I walk and talk and do the stuff that makes me rank and file.

But underneath the artifice, I am bored with all your talk.
Your gossip and your ‘he said-she said’; at all of this I balk!
You're constantly rattling on about the very least of things
your husband's warts, your baby's farts, your last romantic fling.

I’m sure it’s very interesting, and I tilt my head just so
I don’t want to be left out, so I put on the show.
After all should I decide to let my Aspie out?
I could bore you too, to TEARS, and be thought of as a lout.

So when you’re on and on about the rights of "people of the pod*"
and force your strict conformity on politics, style, and God.
Mind games you play with no regard for innocence or youth
you're quick to point with fingers gnarled at what you see as 'Truth.’

But I bear it all with stoicism, and onward do I march
to keep lock step with all of you when inwardly I lurch
you rub me wrong, you irritate, you scrape my nerve ends raw
you constantly regale me with what you did and saw

So if I inwardly rebel against the draw of luck
and stifle yelling to your face, “you idiot! you suck!”
and out from the mask cracks the rebellion wells and oozes
pardon me, in the genetic crap shoot; YOU are the bunch of losers. ·

(Pod people) obscure reference to a 1957 black and white horror movie called "Invasion of the Body Snatchers" where people were cloned in pods like peas. it's poetic license, so sue me!

Great poem, I love it (not literally). Sorry for quoting the whole thing, not sure what i'm doing really!
Suzi

deefor
Butterfly

Joined: 11 Jul 2010
Age: 74
Gender: Male
Posts: 16
Location: England

15 Jul 2010, 5:38 am

I think I always wear a mask in public. I reckon it started at school, as a way of avoiding being bullied. I used to think that everyone wore a mask, and people's true inner self was always hidden. I now believe that most people don't, although it's normal to behave differently in different social situations.

As well as being an aspie, I feel I also have a schizoid personality, which is where the mask comes from. I don't think I can change this now. For one, if I showed my real self in public (whatever that may be), I would probably lose the small number of friends I do have, or get arrested, or something.

Rocky
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19 Jul 2010, 1:52 am

I think it is funny that someone used a metaphor on a forum primarily for those on the ASD spectrum. I clicked the topic wondering what kind of mask the OP was referring to.

I do wear a mask. I always assume that most people wear a mask. NT's do it to project what they want the world to see. For example, men want the world to see them as masculine. Many people want the world to see them as successful and happy. As Shakespeare wrote: "All the world's a stage..."

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deefor
Butterfly

Joined: 11 Jul 2010
Age: 74
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Posts: 16
Location: England

19 Jul 2010, 1:59 am

I agree about the metaphor. When I was younger, I would probably have got confused by this. As an older person, I think I can deal with metaphors pretty much as well as an NT.

Rocky
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19 Jul 2010, 2:15 am

deefor wrote:

I agree about the metaphor. When I was younger, I would probably have got confused by this. As an older person, I think I can deal with metaphors pretty much as well as an NT.

It was obvious to me after reading the OP. When looking at the list of topics, I assumed "mask" would be a physical one, because of the context of this forum. I don't object, I just thought it might be amusing to mention.

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Last edited by Rocky on 19 Jul 2010, 8:32 pm, edited 1 time in total.

MotownDangerPants
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19 Jul 2010, 3:40 am

I wear a mask around all people, I have a few different ones. This isn't just to fit in, I do it for my own sake as well. If I don't force myself to be someone that I'm not, I simply won't do ANYTHING, I would lock myself up inside of my own mind and pursue my own interests, while my life fell apart around me, I've already started to head that way and it's something tht has to be changed immediately, I'm going back on medication.

I've really never been "myself", even the true me is just a collection of informatoion and ideas, I fele like an attic full of old records and antiques. I am not crazy about the idea of being medicated again, I actually love being inside of my own mind but I can see that it's not going to end well. I've been through this cycle many times, I have to do what's in my best interest right now.

Mysty
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19 Jul 2010, 7:36 am

emergingartist54 wrote:

I don't know about you but my "true self" has many aspects. They can't possibly all be active at the same time!

This.

Some parts of me I show more than others, but nothing is a mask. I wouldn't know how to do that.

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Aspie Quiz: 110 Aspie, 103 Neurotypical.
Used to be more autistic than I am now.

Booyakasha
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19 Jul 2010, 9:51 am

Absolutely - since by popular demand no one wants to see a week, overly-logical, awkward misfit - they get a mask for the time being. However that mask seems to be extending even into private hours more and more - not even I want said individual around. :lol: All i can do is laugh at myself and my feeble attempts to control this reality.

nikki191
Snowy Owl

Joined: 22 Jul 2010
Age: 52
Gender: Female
Posts: 143

26 Jul 2010, 12:28 pm

Well almost everyone wears a mask in public its only the rarest person who doesn't.

As for myself, I am 36 and I have been going through my life finding ways to conceal and stop behaviour that isnt common.. kicking my heels together or one handed clapping to calm myself when things got too overwhelming. I ended up being so good at putting on the mask and concealing things that i didnt end up looking into the actual cause of needing the mask in the first place.

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