disowning society

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Maybe so, but you are not in the actual physical presence of other people, which makes a huge difference.

I've learned it's ultimately more detrimental to cut myself off from society than to smile and nod through clenched teeth. That, and I've begun to mentally atrophy without the conversation of others, which frightens me.

there are lots of ways to avoid that 'atrophy', though....like coming here and having interesting chats with people....i also read constantly, am always looking for new books, shows, movies, documentaries about subjects i am interested in....i download lectures about different subjects i want to know more about, research on the internet, read articles, do puzzles and memory exercises, etc etc...so there are lots of options available

I don't disown society, I want people in my life. I just don't know what to do about it. I am planning on moving later this year, and I will most likely be working 12 hour days, 14 days in a row, out in the middle of nowwhere. Then I will have a week off where I will probably be dead tired and do who knows what. In a way I will be disowning society for work purposes. When I am 40 or 50+ though, I will probably be a semi-recluse if I am not married. Most of the time I am a semi recluse already and I am 25 and in university, so I expect that when I am an old bastard it will just be worse.

None of that is a substitute for human company. I do not understand what is so excruciating about it.

^In most cases it is related to anxiety or social phobia.

how can you have aspergers and not understand why some (even many) aspies have come to find human company excruciating at times?

At some times, yes, but certainly not altogether. And Asperger's is a spectrum, after all.

factor in the constant bullying and abuse that a lot of us suffer from that 'human company' and then maybe you'll understand.

I have not experienced this. Why do you assume that all Aspies have the same experiences?

i didn't say all. i said lots.

I see the words "some" and "a lot", but don't see where "all" was used. I think you are the one who is assuming.

I read constantly, and while human company will almost never reach the joy I derive from Samuel Butler or Tolstoy, it is still a necessary thing. We are social creatures and face to face contact cannot be simulated. It kind of goes back to Maslow's over referenced hierarchy of needs. I can't speak for everyone, but I don't make it past the bottom two, and I suspect a lot of individuals with AS are in the same boat (we're not as unique as we like to think). Humans are social creatures, it as fundamental as water.

What's that silhouette picture supposed to be? A leprechaun being offered a chicken leg on a plate ... with a line through it?

I'm never really sure how I feel about being a recluse. I go for weeks without leaving my apartment, sometimes months, except to take care of certain responsibilities or run errands. Most people I know have pretty much given up on trying to drag me out, which I can kind of understand, since I tend to avoid making concrete plans and often come up with reasons not to go out.

On the other hand, I occasionally feel like I need to go out, like I'm a Sims character with a social meter that needs to be recharged. Problem is, it takes about an hour or two of interacting with people to recharge it, and after that, I feel bored and listless and want to go home.

What bothers me is that when I'm at home, I wish I had friends, and when I'm with friends, I wish I were at home. Makes no sense at all, unless maybe I've just drifted apart from my friends, but the idea of having none at all scares me too much to cut off contact entirely?

People's ways are SO disappointing and heartbreaking. It's because they have 'selfish' motivations.....many people are blinded by their own will and aspirations....to the point where they only see others as a 'tool' and not as a human being. They are sick and unfortunately the 'use/manipulate people' disease is a pandemic. In this disease human beings are seen as 'means' not as dignified 'ends in themselves'. It's ugly. It's dirty.