The Married Aspie Cafe Thread (discussion of marriage, etc.)

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DH and I are still working on getting all our papers and stuff in order. But we have gotten medical power of attorneys for each other since I have medical problems and in case I ever had to committ him or something (he has bipolar, but it is well controlled). We should do more financial stuff and wills and things like that too. Its a muddle, all the paper stuff.

I have not been around for long. Just been reading your posts on this topic. Sounds like you guy's know each other pretty well. I'm a diagnosed aspie who is 40 years old and have been married for almost 16 years. I have two young boys both are on the spectrum. I'm keen to make some friends on WP who can help me learn more about dealing with life and share experiences. Please feel free to send me PM or post thanks, froggo.

Welcome, Froggo, and congrats on a long marriage.

Be sure to check out the "Getting to Know You" thread in this In-Depth section - you can read about us and introduce yourself a little more there.

I'm having a pity party for myself about my own relationship at the moment. Seems Mr. McDreamy has turned into Mr. McCritical. Sigh.

Welcome Kyethra and Froggo.

Aylissa, hugs to you. You've been going through all the stressors at once! Take things one at a time and breathe. Maybe your McDreamy is going through stress too over all that's going on. Do you start the new job today? Where did you go in Oahu? What a move. We've done the live in two places for six months more times than I care to count. It doesn't work well for us because we're too scandalously physical and we get grumpy when we're apart like that. Brings out the worst in us, I fear.

Since when is being BiPolar, NT, kyethra?

It's hard even for me to keep up with my life: surgery scheduled for next Tuesday, new job starts three weeks from tomorrow. I am going to be in the hospital for 2-3 days (partial shoulder replacement) and have requested that MS not stay with me. I told him the nurses could take care of me just fine. And I'm hoping that, when I start the new job, that a month or two of being apart during the week will give us an opportunity to get out of the rut we seem to be in.

He's gotten arrogant and critical. He disagrees with everything I say. He's doing things like audibly breathing next to me, that get on my nerves (I know, I know - I'm an a**hole).

They say absence makes the heart grow fonder. I'm counting on this.

PP, you are so funny. You think about how long it's been entiredly too much. I think Bipolar means the chemicals are out of balance and not that the neurons are working incorrectly, but I could be wrong. I also think they just use NT as a label to distinguish between everyone else and Autie/Aspie. Seems pretty silly. I'm not sure anyone really is NT.

Aylissa, hope that surgery helps. Maybe your MS will become more kind with absence. Good luck! You've been going through all the major changes at once!

Geeze louise, I went to serve the divorce papers at 12:01 last night and she told me I screwed up the dates again. Today is SwampBlossoms birthday. The wedding reminder is, ah oh forgot, think in 3 days, maybe 2. I did offer her a bite of my peanut butter and jelly sandwhich for her birthday gift. I had tasted it with a big bite to make sure it was worthy. Ungreatful thing said no. I just don't understand these NT's.

Jewelry is always appropriate. Never give a gift that is actually useful in the house. Gifts that she likes personally, that have nothing to do with the house, are appropriate. Toasters and the like should be promptly inserted into your head.

But the jelly was name brand, only the peanut butter wasn't. That wasn't cool? Ok I think there's some tuna in the cupboard, I'll still have to take a bite out of it first to make sure it's worthy of a gift.

She used to break out into a hard sweat when I spent money on her. True story. She wasn't allowed money in her first marriage. She has to be almost forced to this day to spend money on herself. She needs less prodding as time goes on, however. Gads, I did too good a job. Naw money is always tight here, we know it and it's all good. We do ok with gifts when money is less tight. She still has a huge grin when she get's into her whirl pool, I hate them, but it's hers not mine. She has fibro, I don't, and I can only guess what that's like and I know I don't come close to it in my mind.

Crank up the whirlpool then!

Fibro like MS, CFS and Lupus all break my heart. They devastate lives. It's not fair. At least I can work around my brain.