Anyone not diagnosed until in their 40's?

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I see that you're in California. AS didn't get into the DSM-IV in the US until 1994, and many doctors (and I'm inlucind psychiatrists, pychologists and other therapists) STILL don't know much about AS. There are many stories about people who were diagnosed with a lot of other things when the main cause was AS. And they didn't get the diagnosis until other things were ruled out, or they went to a doctor specifically dealing with AS or autism-spectrum conditions. And the person would have had to have thought there was something wrong or different about themselves, and be looking for a reason why. If they thought they weren't different or didn't care or thought they were doing well, they probably never would have even looked for a diagnosis.

It's not so unusual that someone your b/f's age wouldn't be diagnosed yet.

Some of that stuff may be aggravated by the meds. Little reminders, too. He may have had some small strokes that could affect his behavior.

My father did the same behaviors, and talking with him helped. The hitting and punching could be because certain staff are irritating the hell out of him. I hope your dad can find ways to deal with his impulses or start telling the powers that be what's going on.

The biggest problem with Dad is he wouldn't tell us when he was having problems. He would try to tough it out, and that age group can be hard to reach when they are trying to be A Man. He was so stubborn, but when it finally came out, I was so relieved, and he was, too. I think he held a lot of stuff in because he didn't want to burden us, but he acted it out instead. I ended up bringing him home (he was as ready to come home as he was ever going to be), and that was one of the hardest things I had to do.

It sounds like your family is in your dad's corner, and I hope you're unified. I was dealing with some "step momster" issues, and that complicated my dad's care a lot. I would have handled his home care quite differently than I was able to, but that's the way it goes.

Good, I'm glad your sister is seeing the doc.

Metta and karuna, Rjaye

Those are both possible. However, his behavior was not entirely inconsistent with how he has always behaved. The difference is mostly a matter of degree.



My sister has had numerous conversations with him. Each time, he would promise to stop acting out. Then he would do it again. Ultimately, when he was threatened with being kicked out of the place, his personal physician put him on the antipsychotics. They have worked, but they also turned him into little more than a vegetable.



It is just my sister and myself - but mostly my sister. She lives a 1/2 hour drive from him. I am 3 /12 hours away by plane.



Thank you. Hopefully, he will call back today.

I know that my parents were from a generation who were incapable of seeing anything connected to the function of the mind, and also other than "normal," as anything but a disaster. Their response to my childhood behaviour was pretty much to tell me to stop it - I was clearly not functional in the way expected.
I inherited this attitude, still have it in some ways, but it prevented me from taking seriously the idea that I may have an issue which required either help or a different understanding - for 35 years.
In hindsight it seems hard to understand - the series of disasters that made up my life are so wide and deep that I cannot say now how I or my parents could have managed to believe it could be stopped by unilaterally "just stopping." It obviously couldn't, but it's a testament to the ability of humans to ignore facts.

At any rate - I was diagnosed as having depression around 38, likely true by that time, but it didn't really explain a lot of things, and left open the question of why I had been depressed from about age four onward at least. When I read about Asperger's it was the first thing I'd come across that encompassed my entire checklist of concerns.

I suspect a lot of people, men in particular, of my age avoided dealing with issues around mental health because we were brought up believing we should just be able to get it under control. For those of us who were functional enough to at least appear normal most of the time, we were able to evade a total collapse for a long time, maybe at all for some.

And now we're past 40.

Will probably be diagnosed later this year. I'll be 44 years old. I found out about AS and have researched it almost entirely on my own. It explains a lot.

Z

I was treated for AS by a psychotherapist for several years in my mid fourties, but not formaly diagnosed. The end result being that I am happy with the progress I have made. I am 50 now and can't see the point of a formal diagnosis as I know I have it.

Well, I guess I get the prize for oldest dx so far.

Last year, at age 60, I was diagnosed with NLD and also some strong ADD characteristics. The psychologist who did the testing said that NLD is a separate diagnosis now, but may come to be considered as just a slightly different kind of Asperger. I do fit almost every Asperger characteristic that I've ever seen, and had been suspecting that I had Asperger for a couple of years before I got a formal dx.

My verbal IQ was far higher than my performance IQ and that was the major reason for going with the NLD diagnosis. I also seem to show more social skills and empathy and better athletic skill than someone with AS should, but I think the explanation for that is that those things can be learned and faked and after 60 years I have become a master at learning and faking.

Luckily for me, I was able to retire about the same time I was diagnosed, and thus I don't have to worry about vocational issues. I did apply for disability, but it appears that Social Security refuses to recognize my disability. I have, however, chosen to have a day in court (which may be delayed another year or two due to their stalling).

I had an extremely tough life. The folks that have tested me and counseled me a little are amazed that I managed to accomplish what I did in my life, considering the severity of the impairment that my tests show.

I attribute it to a particularly strong sense of fear and desperation to hold a job and make a living.....nothing else. I'm glad it's over, because I'm exhausted.

I know I'm not SinsBoldly, but I don't think she's been to this thread in a while. In case you're still looking, Whitewave, check under "Getting To Know You", and look for "The Dino-Aspie Ex-Cafe". It should be somewhere near the top of the non-sticky threads - it's usually pretty busy in there, what with Chuck's bouts of ADD, Lau's pictures, and everyone's YouTube videos...

I'm 44, and first heard about AS five years ago (after the article in Newsweek). So far, everyone who knows me and reads the DSM-IV entry agrees that's me. I'm not sure what the point would be to a formal diagnosis. However, I am in WA - is it true that Vocational Rehab (usually available at WorkFirst centers) would be willing to diagnose me for little or no cost?

Wadena, I'm 45 and self-diagnosed. Having a very hard life trying to survive at a job, and rejected by everyone I know, including family. In what sense was your life very tough?

We're not going to get into a "My life is tougher than yours," competition, are we???



School was 12 years of failure, fear and degradation.

Four disastrous years in the navy were not much better.

I was never really qualified to do any job that I had in my career, and revisited the failure and fear and degradation of school.......but I worked to retirement and never got fired. I'm not sure how I did it, but I attribute it mostly to terror and desperation--two words that sum up my life pretty well.

Two divorces, several bad relationships and the resulting financial chaos didn't help.

My family stuck with me, though--that was good in some ways......not so good in some, since my dad was crazy.

But things are wonderful now, so it ended well.

Good on YOU!

i am 43 and i have just recently self diagnosed. it explains alot about my self and my past but its realy odd for me reading other posts that i can relate to. my life has been a bit of a weird expeirence for me, especialy living it without knowing whats wrong

Actually, I'm the opposite I was diagnosised at the age of 18 months due to the fact that my Autism was much more severe. Now it's more like Aspergers, but I will always say that I have HFA.

About 2 years ago I had a therapist tell me I have Asperger's. I am 47 now -- so 45 at the time. I have had psychological problems since around age 10 or 11, don't understand social cues and signals at all. I offend people without realizing it and I don't understand the values that most people operate under.

I was turning 43 when I was officially DXed but I am always questioning the DX..convinced on day and wondering the next if it is true. I think I get the most hung up on some parts of the DX that I am not sure are correct....I don't lack empathy...as I understand it. I don't have a good memory. I am currently waiting for the DX write up from last year to try and understand the DX "reasoning" and I would also like to see a neurologist to rule out anything else. I feel that my function level has declined in the past few years, (one of the reasons I went for DX in the first place)...my grandmother had alzheimer's and it is a big fear for me. My mom is almost a total recluse. I just want to be "scientific" about me. I have observed that when it comes to current practice of medicine...if you don't advocate for yourself....no one else will.


To the OP...are you sure that you are not AS instead of having detachment disorder and BPD? I think thoe are more common DX's for females who are actually aspies.(kind of goes back to the whole bias that women are "hysterical" by nature)

I'm not officially DXed and don't plan to be. I don't think I'd gain anything by it. I too am convinced one day and questioning it the next and I also would like to be scientific about it. I'm conducting my own research as part of my day to day living. I'm taking an especially careful look at social interactions. So far a lot of aspie traits are showing up in real life.