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I'm still on that learning curve of using tools, too. The manuals really need a chapter on rusty bolts. However, a sway bar is a great place to learn. If you mess up, it is not a disaster, and it probably only fits one way. I'm sure there's always work for cowgirls, but seldom much pay or security. You might want to read "West with the Night" which starts off with a girl training race horses. Fabulous book, with an intro by Papa Hemingway, in awe of it.
My friend Don takes in superannuated livestock of all kinds, and when his cows get loose, they come up to the house for a visit. This amazes his neighbors, whose cattle all scatter and take a day to round up. They know who their friends are. Once, Don was caretaking a ranch, and warned the owner not to walk so close behind a horse. She ignored him, and went flying seconds later. Horse was not into ownership papers except as bedding. Don also makes friends with dangerous rams, by giving them a good rub on the itchy spots.

met the most incredible guy today. went to get some used tires installed on my jeep (which rides MUCH better now) and just took a chance on a country tire shop out in dolan springs and this incredibly cool, grounded, mechanic/philosopher took care of my SUV for not only a great price but great, thoughtful conversation. he gave me a lot to think about, about my life experiences, and talked a lot about the "feel" of the area which i wouldn't have described the way he does but once he started to talk about it i knew exactly what he meant. there's a wierd, sort of grounding, incredibly calming "energy" about this place. i've never been anywhere like it. i'm going to check out north carolina just because i've always wanted to, and i think i will love it there, but who knows. if i don't, or i get tired of it, or i just want a change of scene, i can always come back here. it's not going to get overdeveloped anytime. i expect i could return in 20 years and it will be the same "ghost" town it is today. but somehow it's a great fit for me. i'm going to look at my trip to NC as an adventure and this as the first real "home" i've found, just not necessarily the only one.

Well, that's what you originally went there hoping to find. Good work. I wouldn't count on it lasting a decade, though. I'm glad I got a foot in here when I did, and might have been well advised to have done it when I first had a chance, but I had some adventures instead. Do you have a "come back anytime" with your hosts?

Have a good trip - I have to envy your weather - and don't tempt strangers, but watch out for more philosophers in coveralls.

i have a "come back anytime" with my current hosts, but i think that's mainly because the Wife treats me like a maid and wants to keep me on task. She's pretty domineering.

the Little Old Lady and her Husband next door have offered me a room as well with no strings attached. She's also told me if i get stuck somewhere i can call and they will help me get back. I posted elsewhere that I would feel incredibly awkward doing so, but, it is comforting to know i have a place somewhere (assuming i can trust that she will say the same thing when and if the time comes).

i can get a trailer here for $125 or a little more a month in the local park, which is just about ideal, if the park is quiet and the landlord isn't like my last.

Well, long story and i don't feel like getting into details right now, but i ended up right back here in arizona living with the same family. I'm safe, I'm warm, I'm fed. 'Nuff said. God bless you all and MERRY CHRISTMAS!! !

I just saw http://www.instructables.com/id/Living-in-your-Truck/ which has some good tips for your next adventure, or just a sense of freedom. George Dyson was once kayaking up the west coast when he was offered a ride on a barge. He helped out, but kept all his gear in his kayak, ready to shove off at a moment's notice if there was any nautical calamity on this unknown perch.

Happy New Year!

happy new year dear_one and all! thanks for the link, i will check it out!

resources are tight right now, but in a couple of weeks i will get my monthly disability and then all will be good. however, i can't see spending the summer here; 125 degree heat, no thank you.

a little dog has come into my life - she's not mine, but i'm taking responsibility for her, to train her and housebreak her, since my roommate was ready to send her to the pound (it's her puppy). she's a truly awesome little dog, very smart, very sweet, very spirited, part chihuaha and part german shepherd, looks like a tiny black lab and probably won't grow much bigger. i'd say she's mine but i don't feel i am the right person since i am not stable enough to guarantee her a home or even get her to the vet. but, i'm working on finding her a good home and in the meanwhile doing my best to care for her. she is so great (and so great for me). i really needed a pet in my world.

life in the trailer park is low-end but financially it's just what i need to get on my feet, so i'm not complaining. one day at a time!

next up: new tires on the jeep, which is going flat on both front, i have to put air in it every day. but at least it's running.

oh - just a note, i dont' have internet at home right now, so i'm only able to get on once a week or so, but i'm still around!

I think we missed the trailer park advent here? Anyway, your dog certainly comes from ambitious/accommodating parentage! My lap is currently colonized by a neighbor's cat. I'm not sure why he suddenly became attached to me. I hope it has nothing to do with a funeral I see posted. He insisted on coming in out of the cold yesterday, but he is convinced that I'm hiding the good food. I mixed up my best vegetarian cat food, and if he doesn't learn to like it, I guess he'll try his moves on someone else.

Hey, I know I don't know you yet but I wanted to tell you that I understand what you are going through right now.... I've lived in my apt for six years and need to move out in 2 weeks I haven't found another apartment. I have the SUV part covered thankfully, they're great; glad to read the Jeep is running. I think ultimately these changes are very great and I don't know how I feel about what's going on right now; I just wanted to let you know I'm going through something similar and find comfort in your words that you are surviving and coming here to post your experience.

I am glad that you are ok Opi.

thank you all. life continues to throw me curve balls but i'm taking it one day at a time and just continuing to be grateful i have my needs met today.

i moved in with a woman in the trailer park to try to get some independence, but it didn't work out. she's nice enough but not very responsible and i ended up taking full responsibility for her puppy, who is absolutely darling and a great dog-in-process but i can't really keep her, i'm just trying to give her a good home. i'm back now living with Wife and Hubby, and the dog is with me, and i think her original "owners" could care less. right now she is snuggled down inside my sweater since we are sitting on the porch watching streaming TV and posing on WP.

as i sit here i am looking out at the sun getting ready to set over the mountain peaks. i'm not, as i've said elsewhere, a religious person, but looking out on this vista is like looking straight into the face of god. it is truly inspiring.

i feel deep in my heart that somehow things are going to work out. i've got two bad tires on the jeep and my ignition is going bad (something i can probably find cheap in a junk yard). my check comes Wednesday and from that point on if i can find someplace semi-permanent to live here, i should be okay. i can buy new tires and so forth. the next couple of days are going to be kind of shaky but i don't think i'll go hungry and i have a warm bed to sleep in.

it's amazing to me what you can adjust to when you need to. i'm so happy to be out of Williams still. i'm grateful for the kindness of this community and know soon i will be able to offer something in return, volunteering or whatever. i'm getting used to not having internet at my command, which is the first time in several decades. i'm getting used to not knowing what the next day will bring. after all, no matter how predictable your life seems to be, we really don't EVER know, as i have learned. hopefully soon i can give this delightful young animal a good home, but meanwhile my hosts are willing to indulge her (and me).

i do need to find someplace i can actually live that's under my (illusion of) control so i can feel a little bit settled. the woman in the trailer park - she was nice enough, but truth be told the trailer was filthy. the park is full of junk. it didn't really bother me a lot - i know it's temporary, or it was. it was just a place to get my act together. and if i can find another trailer that's available i may move back there (but on my own terms). no lease, cheap utilities, quiet - i can live with the rest. for now. if i can get the jeep fixed up, i could see staying here, even through the hellish hot summer.

this is a fairly religious community, but nobody so far is obnoxious about it. i've been going to church just so i can be seen and be considered a part of the community. the people are good. i'm lightyears from where i was when i joined this board. i still am basically a recluse, but who i meet when i go anywhere makes a big difference on how isolated i keep myself. there is something deeply good about this area and i am feeding off it mind and soul. i feel sad - i miss my ex-boyfriend, even though he was a jerk. i miss my ex-husband, my life, my cat, everything. but i no longer feel devastated. i don't know how to get my life on track and how to find a direction to move forward, but i'm starting to get a sense that eventually these things will work themselves out.

I know that you've had it a bit rough just lately Opi, but you have just described paradise.

It is important to enjoy every moment in your life, even when things might seem chaotic there is something to gain.

I really do wish you well, I send all my love with this post.

Keep safe Opi, keep warm.

bb

Not sure if this will help or not, but know that there are complete strangers, living worlds away, that care about what happens to you and are willing you on towards happiness.

well, it's actually not all roses. i had to bring the puppy back to her original home half and hour ago because there is no food for her here. there's no food for me, either, so i haven't eaten today. no prospects of eating until wednesday unless i can get the food bank to bring me more food. i guess christian charity only goes so far. i got bitched out tonight for not wanting to dispose of an item that someone else left on the porch, because i was overwhelmed with having to bring the dog back and made the mistake of snapping at Wifey, and got my ass torn out by her and her husband. i try to stay positive but tonight it's kind of hard.

three days and i'm at least partially out of the woods.

i don't understand why i'm in trouble over someone else's actions. kind of depressing. i hope i can find my own place this week.

i wish more that certain people could at least TRY to put themselves in my shoes instead of coming down on me from a very, very high horse.

at least i am warm and safe.

"If you live in the past, you are depressed.
If you live in the future, you are anxious.
If you live in the present, you are happy."
-Lao Tzu

I've always done well with used tires from a wrecking yard when I couldn't afford new. At a used tire store, where they also did mounting and balancing, I once had to ask for a replacement when a bulge showed up and I saw it first, but that worked out fine too. It is usually easy to estimate the remaining life of a tire from the tread depth, and they are priced accordingly, with a discount for the hassle. Extra wheels are fairly liquid assets, with steel wheels sometimes given away to sell a tire, all balanced and ready to go.

You are lucky to have a dog. I am coming to the conlusion that for every point on which we may consider that we have domesticated cats, there are dozens of ways to see humans as the domestics of cats. As for a "home" - to a dog, if you can survive it, that's home enough for your adoring companion. Families with big dogs have moved into cars, and the dogs don't mind a bit.

I'm glad you are able to handle change - perhaps you are learning to feel secure based on your own person, and see the others as variations on the same theme?

Oops. We crossed messages. No food is awful. Usually, it takes some extra time for people to get over their moods and be nice again. Small town grocers often let people run a tab - if you take in some papers about your cheque coming, you can probably make an arrangement.