Anyone not diagnosed until in their 40's?

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Argon, I do empathize! Back in the 80"s when team building was all the rage, it was awful! Now I go to a class and if they want to divide us into teams I screeech internally. It takes so much energy to work inside a group that I can't deal with the subject matter. And yes, being alone is good.
From my perspective, finding a good career match means marrying subject matter and interaction demands so that you can stay inside your comfort zone and still be challenged and interested in what you're doing. Then you can be successful and valued. Temple Grandin wrote a book on careers for Aspies. I haven't read it, but I have enjoyed her other work enormously. Like Nominalist, she's in a university setting, but works a lot with animals.
You sound like a Brit (single mum ) so I don't know what your resources are. In the US we have Vocational Rehabilitation where you can get tested and they can pay for training. Also, you might do really well with online education. I'm studying holistic nutrition on line, and am enjoying it, even at my advanced (65) age. (there, does that make it more on topic?)
Hope this is helpful. Sometimes people get offended with advice and book recommendations, but it's my way of saying I would like to be supportive.

I self diagnosed at mid forties. This explained my horrendous experience of school and early working life. I have been self elployed for 25 years as I cannot work among others - yet I am not far from genius level in my sphere of activity.

Krex, you'd make a wonderful therapist in any field. You're caring and insightful.

I was diagnosed at the age of 42. It wasn't a case of evading diagnosis, I needed to push to get taken seriously and to get referred for a diagnostic assessment. As an adult, I had been to see more counsellors and mental health professionals than I can count; partly because of depression, but mainly because of the difficulty I had in relating to other people. Not one single one of these people picked up on what the problem really was for me. I first heard of Asperger Syndrome when I saw mention of it in a magazine, and that people who have it have difficulty communicating and forming relationships. That had been the story of my life. I found out more about it in due course and realised for myself that this is the reason why I had the difficulties that I have. I then set about seeking a diagnosis, which was free. If I hadn't picked up on what was the root cause of my difficulties, I really don't think anybody else ever would have.

When I was growing up in the 60's and 70's, I don't think Asperger Syndrome was even heard of in the UK where I live. Because I was considered 'bright', nobody would have thought of me as autistic.

Self-diagnosed at 50. (Been 50 for years now.) Had no clue why I always was so "odd". Didn't pay much attention to what I heard about AS, as the media communicates about very poorly.

I will be 41 this sunday and I was diagnosed about 7 or 8 months ago.....so Im still pretty raw and confused sometimes.

Daughter finally diagnosed a couple of years ago (after years of wrong diagnoses). Grand-daughter also as some Aspie traits. Self diagnosed when I started reading about Asperger after my daughter diagnostic and it finally clicked: I am not crazy (at least not completly) that's me, that's the way I am and my brain works (very high IQ and totally dumb close to ret*d in other fields like social interactions, chit-chat and the like) but not yet ready to admit it. Finally decided to face it and come here after making another blunder with yet with another person, as usual. Completed some questionaires and I fit the bill, got 38 on the one with the link I found somewhere in Wrong Planet.

Well, I can live easier with that more than I could with thinking all these year that I was crazy and weird and my brain was just messed-up as I always thought it was since I was about 4 years old. I know now why I always had so much troubles bounding with people and feeling very little empathy for them and always ended-up feeling like an outcast.

I am 59 and will being getting my diagnosis testing in October.