Awareness to what I am and changed perspective

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I am new to the knowledge that what I have struggled with my whole life has a name and others like me. My wife finds the fact she can learn about AS refreshing and we can use that as a starting point in solving issues in our marriage.

I on the other hand am seeing AS around me everywhere, and I know statistically it just can't be. I work in the software world where you have to be good at math, understand logic, and have a science based mind to survive. This work enviroment is also very open to different personalitys, you keep the odd balls away from the clients and keep them in coding work. Most of the odd balls are either NT's or have their own different attributes that don't have anything to do with AS. It doesn't stop me from wondering who around me in the tech industry does have it. Do you all play this game that work in science based fields that accept people that will never survive a black tie cocktail party? Strangly enough I have always found the other guy that was drug to a party by his wife or gf hiding in the corner looking at his watch and shared a look of understanding with each other.

I don't just wonder about people around me, I wonder about myself. Is attribute x related to AS? What about attribute y?

My adult life has been based on adapting and overcoming myself. Anything that has prevented me from living a full life has been questioned, analyzed and attacked. Will I now use AS as an excuse to stop working on things like learning ettiquite, social norms, how to stop monopolizing conversations and obsessing and boring my friends? "Sorry, Sweetheart, I can't even try to go to that place, you know the noise drives me nuts, I am AS." Instead of, "Can we just go for an hour to make an appearance then grab maybe one other couple and get a drink somewhere less busy and more quiet?"

There is a job I really want to apply to, it would be a life changer to get it, but now I question my ability to react quickly to changing situations. Am I being realistic or am I using AS as an excuse to stop pushing so hard? Pushing this hard started when I hit rock bottom in my 20's and came to the awareness that I alone am accountable for my success and failures. I have pushed and learned enough to fool anyone for short times and I have a good career now due to that. I promised myself I would never settle and always focus on the next step up. Awareness that I am AS has me questioning that next step, and that balances the joy at feeling I am not broken, and there is a good explanation to my 'quirks'.

The job involves thinking on my feet, adapting to changing situations and lots of travel to different cultures with different social norms, talk about a worst case situation for AS. Do I bow or do I frown, O crap ...
I now wonder if I am setting myself up for failure when I should just relax and try to enjoy the tier I have accomplished.

different cultures and customs can be a good thing. I've traveled some and it was great. nobody noticed my gaping social deficits. They just assumed "cultural differences"

Would t'were true - alas, as long as workplace survival depends on the impressions we make on others, our lot is never entirely up to us.

Only you can know whether the job you're interested in is one you can handle. There are so many factors that can influence that. There were things I could have done with my eyes closed ten years ago, that I wouldn't attempt now.

When I was working in a room alone, I handled plenty of interactive stimuli and juggled the multitasking and unexpected changes with grace and dexterity - when social interaction came into the mix, I would fumble every ball I had in the air. It was all about focus. I could focus on the equipment and the work, or I could focus on the social interaction and keep up with the conversation and the nonverbal signals, but I could not do both simultaneously.

Every Aspies level of functionality is unique to that person, and that level in any individual may fluctuate cyclically over time. I think we tend to do better the more autonomy we're given and the less direct supervision we have to endure.

I too have only been officially diagnosed recently, but known for a couple of years.
Initially i rejected it, raged and felt cheated etc... however now I realise that 'fore warned is fore armed', my self esteem is improving and I am now more inclined to pick my 'battles' more intelligently.
I was a spin out case as a teenager, street kid and drug problem at fifteen and in and out of totally inappropriate environments, social circles and occupations [try being an aspie bus driver??]. I have struggled with drug and alcohol and drugs and suicide.
Now I am clean/sober and much happier and coming to terms with being who I am and how to live with myself.
Kia Kaha [be strong] and good luck, it isn't all bad and some of our quirks are actually strengths.

peace j

I work in an organisation which, over a long history, has accumulated an unusually high proportion of "odd" individuals in its Scientific and IT populations. I've sat in meetings where, by my ill-informed analysis, 75% of the participants are autistic. And 80% of those are unaware of the condition.

As a research topic in organisational culture, it's a winner. As a place to be, caught like a fly in amber by a culture that traps autistics, it's hell on earth. When I joined the organisation, I knew nothing of aspergers. The organisations management community still know nothing of it, although they're becoming sensitive to a certain amount of noise as they continue writing Job and Person specifications that emphasise interpersonal skills above all else. There's an occupational health crisis looming, unless they can pension off the offenders (us) quickly enough.

The pensioning off stuff is what worrys me. IT is the shining light to which us moths are drawn. I think the HR types will wake up to this sooner or later.

Don't look at what "a person with AS" can supposedly do or not, look at your own skills and weaknesses, and what you can and can't do. People with AS aren't all alike. Use it as a tool to understand yourself, and your strengths and weaknesses, better. But don't make it a constraint. Don't limit yourself based on what people with AS supposedly can and can't do. Instead, look at yourself, and be realistic about what you personally can and can't do.