so my counselor says i don't have aspergers...

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she said she doesn't feel i have aspergers because:

i have a friend (loose statement).. (and apies don't have friends)

i'm not thoroughly obsessed with one topic.. (relational obsession count?)

and typically (she said) asperger people can logically argue out of something they don't want to do..
(just because i say, oh ah ha, when she points out something)

maybe she thinks i'm not brilliant enough

how many of you know you're smarter or don't really live up to your full potential or maybe have given up on interests out of sheer depression?
say "I"


I haven't talked to her alot but my "friend" is kinda like my mom and gives me gas money and food when me or my children need anything,
on a social level it's ok but i don't logically take things in (i feel) like everyone else...

it's like a hang around, take, and leave without much emotional attachment, come and go, you know

i've never felt (mature enough for my age) like others my age, somewhat out of the loop durring social engagements

i've always stood out as being different.. inside and out

i was always an anxious wreck in school and would typically stick to anyone i felt safe with, not talking too much

in my rebellious teen years i would sit and just watch everyone..

i feel absolutely comfortable when hanging out with friends at a bar not talking or saying anything other than
"hey, did you hear i got a calgran and talk about what i've been up to and how i'm trying to be good these days"

i have a lot of acquaintances like from jobs then so-called friends

anything i'm actually good at or achieve has stemmed from an obsession..
serious note taking, talk about my interest with others, sound like i know what i'm talking about,
obsession..

i got my feelings hurt and had to talk myself through it because my lab partner
last semester got along better with another girl in my class and they would talk through the whole
movie and you won't catch me talking to someone like that though i would like to, it just doesn't happen for me,
and they were making plans to hang out
me and her just got along civilay, almost mechanically or cordially
and i was really interested in her being a friend..

in my classes in college
my teachers could vouch i take information in "differently"
and really know how to open up discussion for everyone else afraid to ask questions..
i can put a different spin on things i'm interested in..

i don't feel like my counselor really "listens" to me and i don't feel
comfortable telling her all my anxieties now that we've develped somewhat of a rapport
i feel like i tell her what i should...

she said i have situational depression...

for what 31 years??? my dad use to say i was going to be a lawyer because i could make anything sound like logic and
i was always right and in grade school and highschool i would always know these random facts.. he died when i was 11

i think the asperger's quiz's are stupid and don't ask the right questions

and i really feel i have it to some degree

so how do i go about taking this counselor's advice???

Is it possible i have aspergers and situational depression??

That frustrates me when (and this seems to have gone on ALL MY LIFE)
I tell someone something about MYSELF, and they argue with me that i'm wrong and they know more about me than i do...

What gives?

It sounds like you know more about Asperger's than your counselor. I think the same about my son's psychiatrist ( who just manages his meds) I asked him once what was the difference between having Asperger's and just being shy and he said "I don't know good question."

Maybe you should seek diagnoses with someone else. I got told two times, from so called professionals, that I didn't have Asperger's. The first was a short screening from a psychiatrist. The second was several hours of testing that was meant for children, administered by a student who was supposedly supervised by a psychiatrist. The third time was the charm, and it was a psychologist who wasn't trying to find people to give drugs to. She took the time to observe me, and ask about history, before diagnosing me.

Go to another counselor till you get the right diagnoses.

I agree with the folks who suggest looking for a diagnosis elsewhere. And if you don't feel like you can talk to your therapist about things and she doesn't seem to understand her, I would suggest finding another therapist.

An example of a good therapist:

I have been seeing a psychologist for the past few months and she does not specialize in Autism or Asperger Syndrome. When I got to searching out some things on Asperger Syndrome, I started wondering if I might have it. I brought the topic up to her, and her first response was "Well, I'm not sure, because you can be pretty social. Then again, it's possible you could have adapted to your life over time and that your neurology and way of thinking still point to Asperger Syndrome. What makes you think you have it?" She then suggested, since she is NOT an Autism professional, that we seek an official diagnosis from someone who is trained in the field.

A good psychologist knows their limitations and will not brush off your concerns blithely. You deserve a good psychologist that you can trust.

I was told I'm not autistic because I can hold a normal conversation and have a good relationship with my daughter. I was told I had a highly sensitive nervous system (the sensory stuff) and some autistic features. (??) If you're really interested in a diagnosis, I'd suggest finding some one else. Personally, I'm relatively happy with my counsellor, so I'm sticking with him for the time being.

Regards,

Patricia

I've never felt more at home than on this site, thank you so much for the comments and info.. I will check into it, it's amazing how much i want to trust people and their opinions even though I fell in my heart they are stronly wrong.. who has that much time to be that indepth about something important to us than ourselves.. thanks again...

what i was mostly interested in is she wrong

is it impossible to have aspergers and friendships?

you guys have friends or one or two?

You said it!

I have no trouble making friends. Just trouble keeping them...

This is a stupid answer. If you visit enough counselors/psychiatrists you are bound to find one that will diagnose you with something or convince them you have something. And then what, pick the one you like?

I don't think it's stupid, just incomplete. It sounds an awful lot like the psychiatrist doesn't know anything about Asperger Syndrome. I think "right diagnoses" meant "the diagnosis that fits your symptoms from a psychiatrist/psychologist who actually LISTENS to your concerns and you reasons for wondering and who is a trained Autism specialist as opposed to a psychologist who apparently thinks that the most common symptom of Asperger Syndrome is that you don't have any friends."

I'm elaborating a bit and taking some liberties, but that's the impression that I got.

Here here! LOL

I agree though, I don't necessarily have a lot of trouble making friends. My trouble tends to be in WHERE I'm making the friends. For example, I don't make friends very easily at work because I have a bit of a compartmentalist mind and while I'll talk to my coworkers if they talk to me, I tend to feel that I'm primarily there to "do work". And, of course, I suck at "small talk". I also have some difficulty making friends if the folks around me have trouble taking discussions beyond a superficial level very quickly. I get bored and go find something else to do, lol.

So in short I don't think it's impossible at all for Aspies to make and have friends, it just requires the right people and the right circumstances. I have some very, very good friends. Sometimes I DO have trouble keeping friends, but the ones who stick around are extremely worthwhile.

But of course it can get lonely when you see coworkers going to lunch together or getting together outside of work and you think, "Why can't I connect with people like that?"

my best friends are on WP. I am thankful for each of them.

Merle

Yes, I took one to my assessment.

Well, you went to ask for HER opinion, not for YOURS. If you know better about you than anyone else does, then no need to go to her or anyone, right? Unless an AS diagnosis is a pre-requisite for you to get social security help, as in my case, where the opinion of the idiot shrink is more important than my self-knowledge of half a century.

Friendship or lack thereof are not a symptom of a neurological difference, that's totally ridiculous, nor are any of the other things you mention. Ultimately, whatever you or she say, you either have ToM and empathy or you don't. And that is what determines whether you have Asperger's or not.

This may be off topic, but what is ToM? The only thing I pulled up is "Theory of Mind" but that's not a thing you "have", that's a theory about Autism, so I'm confused.