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sluice
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24 Jun 2011, 6:28 pm

Has anyone figured that one out?


Shouldn't it be more than mere survival, where life seems to be little more than some stoic homage to Sisyphus? I am still trying to get that one worked out in my mind and time keeps inching along. I can sense my social abilities sprouting weeds. Whatever potential that people once sensed I had seem to have grown distant and I feel almost obligated to feel disappointment in letting them down. Still I don't live for anyone else and would like to find something of value to do with myself-- even if it is doomed for failure.

Do people actually figure this stuff out for themselves at some point and I have no compass to guide myself or do I just have too much free time on my hands to overthink it?

Sorry, if this is a Friday night bummer to someone. I tend to go through stretches of introspection, which are much better to get out there then allowing myselff to dwell on them far too long.



Last edited by sluice on 24 Jun 2011, 7:53 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Rhiannon0828
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24 Jun 2011, 7:18 pm

What do you want to do? Is there something career wise that you would like to achieve? Is it logically obtainable? Is there something that you feel that you have a talent for and brings you enjoyment?



Silverbutterfly
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24 Jun 2011, 7:20 pm

I have the same problem you do Sluice....


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OneStepBeyond
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24 Jun 2011, 7:22 pm

for some reason this makes me think of that 'life is what happens whilst you're busy making plans' saying. but i'm too tired to elaborate



Moog
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24 Jun 2011, 7:27 pm

sluice wrote:
Has anyone figured that one out?


Shouldn't it be more than mere survival, where life seems to be little more than some stoic homage to Sisyphus? I am still trying to get that one worked out in my mind and time keeps inching along. I can sense my abilities to be social sprouting weeds. Whatever potential that people once sensed I had seem to have grown distant and I feel almost obligated to feel disappointment in letting them down.


You sound as though you feel like you don't have any good reason to utilise your potential.

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Still I don't live for anyone else and would like to find something of value to do with myself-- even if it is doomed for failure.


Living only for yourself can be incredibly unrewarding.

Most people with these kind of complaints are suffering from a lack of meaning. Their efforts are disconnected from any greater narrative. Last Man stuff. Nietzsche said that when there is no meaning to existence, we have to invent it. So find meaning in your life, or make it.

Have a look at the top of Maslow's pyramid. Maybe look into the various world religions. Do things you've not done before. Un-rut yourself

I recommend people in ruts read 'The Dice Man', I found it helpful.

I don't want to lead you by the nose to where you want to be, because I can't.

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Do people actually figure this stuff out for themselves at some point


Some do.

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and I have no compass to guide myself


You have an internal compass. Judging by this post, it's telling you that you need to head in a different direction.

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or do I just have too much free time on my hands to overthink it?


Maybe. Sisyphus was probably too busy to think :wink:

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Sorry, if this is a Friday night bummer to someone. I tend to go through stretches of introspection, which are much better to get out there then allowing myselff to dwell on them far too long.


Not at all.


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purchase
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24 Jun 2011, 8:43 pm

Here's how I get something in life. I think genetics set me early on a track to obsess about creating stories because narratives are how I make sense of life. So that's what's been leading me my whole life.

Everyone's advice here is really good. I agree about what Moog said about needing to be connected to a greater system. Without a sense of context and purpose you're lost.

Logically I understand that the obsession that leads me isn't any more meaningful than anything else. There is no meaning without the thinker to parse it. So you have to create your own meaning. I know that sentence has been repeated over and over as a piece of wisdom but I find the more I go along the more I find how true it is. Anything you're drawn to doing is a good place to try to start creating meaning and once you've created it it is there and exists, no matter that it didn't before you created it.



sluice
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24 Jun 2011, 8:52 pm

You sound pretty good at this Moog.

Moog wrote:
You sound as though you feel like you don't have any good reason to utilise your potential.


I think there has to be a purpose or you feel as if you are no more than a tool to be used and put away. Sometimes I wonder if I have a clear understanding of what my potential is. It seems high by some standards, but really it becomes a chase where the bone remains beyond my grasp and I follow along dutifully. Maybe, I am just a tool. :)

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Living only for yourself can be incredibly unrewarding.


I agree, but that is the situation I have found myself in. Things change. I have had to make amendments along the way.


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Most people with these kind of complaints are suffering from a lack of meaning. Their efforts are disconnected from any greater narrative. Last Man stuff. Nietzsche said that when there is no meaning to existence, we have to invent it. So find meaning in your life, or make it.

Have a look at the top of Maslow's pyramid. Maybe look into the various world religions. Do things you've not done before. Un-rut yourself

I recommend people in ruts read 'The Dice Man', I found it helpful.

I don't want to lead you by the nose to where you want to be, because I can't.


Sound advice. I realize that any value I find is going to be defined by what I find to have value. I will take a look at your suggestions.

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You have an internal compass. Judging by this post, it's telling you that you need to head in a different direction.


Yeah, but figuring out where to go can be a difficult sometimes too.


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Sorry, if this is a Friday night bummer to someone. I tend to go through stretches of introspection, which are much better to get out there then allowing myselff to dwell on them far too long.


Not at all.

Thanks, I think you've helped me. I usually sleep on things to gain some distance to see things more clearly.



sluice
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24 Jun 2011, 8:53 pm

Good advice I believe, though I usually have to digest things a bit before they sit right. Thanx guys.




Rhiannon0828 wrote:
What do you want to do? Is there something career wise that you would like to achieve? Is it logically obtainable? Is there something that you feel that you have a talent for and brings you enjoyment?


I do need more from career. I get stuck between having good aptitude for the work, but seem to have poor interactive skills with the people I have worked with. Unless I am in a good situation, I do end up spinning wheels and end up doing what I am good at without advancing up the ladder. Things can get static for someone who enjoys challenges. What's more, I am rarely satisfied with what I am doing at the moment. Instead I am looking ahead to the next thing.

Silverbutterfly wrote:
I have the same problem you do Sluice....


Sorry, though it feels somewhat reassuring not to be alone with some problem for some reason. :)


OneStepBeyond wrote:
for some reason this makes me think of that 'life is what happens whilst you're busy making plans' saying. but i'm too tired to elaborate


Could be some of that I am sure. I do need to learn to live in the moment more instead of what is happening next week or what happened last week. I think it is normal for me to try to make sure I got what was going on, especially with work situations because of past experience. And I have always been the one to sacrifice the now for something in the future, which may or may not be necessary.



sluice
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24 Jun 2011, 9:01 pm

purchase wrote:
Here's how I get something in life. I think genetics set me early on a track to obsess about creating stories because narratives are how I make sense of life. So that's what's been leading me my whole life.

Everyone's advice here is really good. I agree about what Moog said about needing to be connected to a greater system. Without a sense of context and purpose you're lost.

Logically I understand that the obsession that leads me isn't any more meaningful than anything else. There is no meaning without the thinker to parse it. So you have to create your own meaning. I know that sentence has been repeated over and over as a piece of wisdom but I find the more I go along the more I find how true it is. Anything you're drawn to doing is a good place to try to start creating meaning and once you've created it it is there and exists, no matter that it didn't before you created it.



Thanks. I think there can be a sense of frustration when what you hold to be true in meaning turn out to be false. Sometimes, things become unsettled until you develop new meaning. Maybe that is where I am still at.



peterd
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25 Jun 2011, 2:03 am

Well, I'd like to live in a world where autism wasn't something vaguely shameful, that polite people never talked about.

Ignorance is shameful, prejudice isn't much better. The only hope for adult-diagnosed autistics is to work towards dispelling the poison of shamefulness from our disability. It's a terrible thing, but in the organisation I work in some of the most outspokenly prejudiced people are the ones you'd pigeonhole as being somewhere on the spectrum.



Icyclan
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25 Jun 2011, 9:00 am

I frequently think to myself: is this all there is? Life in general seems kind of pointless. Not necessarily hard but pointless. I have no long term goals anymore, but I am not interested in purely hedonistic pleasures either. I dread the thought of being a family man, but there's also no great profoundness in being by myself.

It's as if there's nothing left for me to do. No higher purpose; just an empty, gray, dull existence. I don't want to sound melodramatic, but I feel there's no place for me in this universe. I'm just a superfluous, insignificant piece of protoplasm withering away. I am alive, but I'm not living; I'm just going through the motions until my time is up.



elaraith
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26 Jun 2011, 12:49 am

Icyclan wrote:
I frequently think to myself: is this all there is? Life in general seems kind of pointless. Not necessarily hard but pointless. I have no long term goals anymore, but I am not interested in purely hedonistic pleasures either. I dread the thought of being a family man, but there's also no great profoundness in being by myself.

It's as if there's nothing left for me to do. No higher purpose; just an empty, gray, dull existence. I don't want to sound melodramatic, but I feel there's no place for me in this universe. I'm just a superfluous, insignificant piece of protoplasm withering away. I am alive, but I'm not living; I'm just going through the motions until my time is up.


I feel exactly the same way. All I do is go to work, and play video games when I get home. I still haven't made any friends, and the only people I ever hang out with are my brothers. I frequently go through times with absolutely no ambition whatsoever, not feeling like doing anything but stay at home. This entire week I've been forcing myself to go to work, and I usually like my job.

I just can't see what the point of it all is. Wake up, go to work so I can live and pay bills, then go home and sleep just to repeat the same process over and over.



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26 Jun 2011, 2:23 am

I don't think this is specific to people on the spectrum. I think most people are dissatisfied with their lives, although it may not seem that way on the surface. A couple years ago after the death of a friend I asked myself what the most important thing in life was for me. I'm an atheist, so I don't operate under the assumption that I've got to behave to gain admittance to some blissful afterlife. I thought long and hard, and when I thought I had the answer I asked myself why I thought that. I discovered that the only important thing to me was happiness, and that my pursuit of anything else was to ultimately achieve happiness. It sounds trite now that I'm writing it out, but it was a big step for me. I quit my job that paid a comfortable wage because the money alone wasn't enough to bring me happiness. I'm working a job now that doesn't really pay enough, but I'm much happier than I was before. The world is big and interesting and I intend to do as much as possible and learn as much as possible before I die. I've given up on trying to find dates. For me, I don't feel like having another person in my life is essential to my happiness, although if I happen to meet someone I'll give it a shot. I cook, play music, and engage in other creative activities because those things make me happy. I guess my advice would be to make note of those things that do make you happy and do them more, and those things that don't and do them less.



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28 Jun 2011, 1:01 pm

Icyclan wrote:
I frequently think to myself: is this all there is? Life in general seems kind of pointless. Not necessarily hard but pointless. I have no long term goals anymore, but I am not interested in purely hedonistic pleasures either. I dread the thought of being a family man, but there's also no great profoundness in being by myself.

It's as if there's nothing left for me to do. No higher purpose; just an empty, gray, dull existence. I don't want to sound melodramatic, but I feel there's no place for me in this universe. I'm just a superfluous, insignificant piece of protoplasm withering away. I am alive, but I'm not living; I'm just going through the motions until my time is up.


This is what my life feels like.



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29 Jun 2011, 6:07 pm

Having life figured out?

Only insofar as "it's my choice first, but if I don't choose for myself then others may try to choose for me." Doesn't seem to get me girls or anything but I go to sleep and get back up when I awaken.

I guess it's similar to my attitude about life after death: If there is one, I'll have to do my best to figure it out when and if I get there.



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09 Jul 2011, 4:43 pm

You should become your more primal self. (whatever that might be.) thats what daoism has taught me. :pig:


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