Depression and Anger as the only emotion?

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I have recently realized that the only emotion that I really express is anger. Affection towards my wife and kids isn't often and I don't seem to feel it necessary (more with the wife then kids, with them I try to remember to tell them). Sadness, sympathy, empathy really doesn't occur and after I am, I look back I don't think I felt it, rather, I did what I thought was expected in the situation. I tend to feel very very awkward trying to comfort and tend to just stare blankly at the person.

Why is it that anger and depression comes easy but nothing else seems to? My wife has tried to get me to read several aspie books but nothing can hold my interest more then a chapter at best. If it isn't a technical book I just won't read it. The depression I got an ok grasp of, the anger overwhelms me though. I have learned to restrain myself from physical displays but yelling, growling, tensing every muscle in my body, it just takes to long to see it and try to relax and reflect on the why.

I don't understand why, for a condition that says we are emotionally stunted (need better term but can't think of one) how anger can come so easily.

For me if I can't understand the why I can't fix it, and I haven't, more, I just avoid dealing with in, bottle it up and get bitter. I just want to end the cycle.

Anger is the easiest emotion for me to identify and usually the strongest one I experience when I experience it although I am not always angry and often I'm almost completely indifferent. Sometimes I will also feel very mischievous and display an evil smile.

No no no!! Yes yes yes!!

http://www.muft.tv/watch/Video,Item,2910529334.html

I don't know that I would do any better if I were married. What is it about the people that is making you angry? You might try keeping a log of specific incidents of experiencing anger and see if there's a common thread.

Anger (aggression, hunting) and fear (survival) are the most basic of all animal emotions.

It takes a great amount of emotional intelligence to experience the others, which we lack.

Some of us are "stunted" in that we experience the more basic emotions but lack the ability to experience the more complex ones.

Most of the anger I experience with other adults comes from hypocrisy. My number 1 pet peve. It gets more intense when I call them on it and they don't think it is because, unlike me, they see shades of grey. Things are very much black and white to me so grey areas don't exist.

With my children it is chaos and not listening. My son has been clinically diagnosed with aspergers so it is really hard and I expend all my will power and self control with him so come dinner time (witching hour with kids) I am drained and out of patience.

The hunter gatherer explanation makes a lot of sense. Not sure how I can work with that but in time I should figure something out. Maybe I need to expel my excess energy through out the day. I seem more relaxed after mowing the lawns or mountain biking.

Our emotions may be stunted or "bottled up" inside us, yet we do still have them ... and then anger has *always* been my dominant one. It used to drive me to get to bed for some rest so I could get back up in the morning and "go get somebody" (out-think, out-smart, out-maneuver, overcome, or get-even retaliation) ... and that is what kept me going for many years. But within my relationships with my family members and so on, I displayed no "emotional intelligence" in relation to them and just let the anger run its course.


Because self cannot overcome self.


Here is how I got started: "Our very lives ... depend upon our constant thought of others and how we may help meet their needs."

There is nothing easy about that, however, and I definitely had to have some help and direction.

Find someone who can live the way you want to live, then ask how s/he became able to do that and whether s/he will help you learn to do the same.

Caution: Watch out for religion folks saying you "need Jesus" or whatever. Many of those folks are delusional.

Until a couple years ago, depression, anger, and love were the only three emotions I recognized myself as having. Alexithymia's a joy.

I can appreciate your position.

I experience few emotions and have fewer skills to handling them.

I have found accepting this and then using my cognitive faculty to try and compensate has helped, sure I still come across as cold and insincere but at least I am trying to use reason as a substitute as a result of my obvious sympathy at their distress.
This does have traps however -
For example when someone is upset about something instead of staring blankly with nothing to say I will try and help them logic their way beyond their emotions - this is not usually what they want and they will often then get angry at me, which while allowing them to 'vent' some emotional pressure isn't healthy or functional.
Also I may run the risk of launching into an obsessive rumination that tires and distresses me.

I have had a major problem over the years with my sympathy for people who are suffering unnecessarily leading to me getting exceptionally angry [yeah I want the world to be perfect and for people to play nice ], this has often upset my partners for [I presume] two reasons,
one; it is an obviously intense emotional onslaught to be around. two; 'how can I feel so much for people I don't know and be so cold to those I claim to love'.

I figure that the human psyche is set up with a kind of intelligences/emotions graphic equaliser and every human being has a slightly different EQ setting. Some of these can be loosely grouped under banners equivalent to the pre-sets on modern stereo systems, the pre-set group for autistic spectrum types is high on cognitive and environmental sensitivity and low on emotional/social faculties, neither is right or wrong just different and depending on situation more or less appropriate - such is life.

Lastly I wonder sometimes if an unexplained anger creeps out in situations where we are experiencing a stunted 'ghost' of an emotion which unsettles us and leads to anger as a default outlet to the emotional energy that is building within us?

peace j

I too, have only felt anger, and never any other deep emotions. It is my strongest emotion, I have never loved, or felt friendship, or felt like I belonged. I'm getting tired of this, only feeling anger and sadness, with apathy spliced in. I want to experience the full range of emotions, I want to connect to people.Is there anyone that can help me?

I have had immense difficulty forcing myself to read books about aspergers. I don't spend a lot of time thinking about relationships, and the books force you to think about them. I like reading about science, nature, ect, ect. To sit and read a testamonial account of relationship problems is hard.

Start with the clinical books, they are cold, medical and impartial. Tony Atwood has an excellent medical book about aspegers that I have read in the past. (I forgot the title) Another great book was 'A field guide to Earthlings' by Ian Ford, about how NT's think, wow... the relevations I have had since I've read that one!

Good luck!