Dealing with controlling people

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I had recently gone to a event today and had met two friends. One of these friends currently lives with two authorized individuals who are her legal guardians. I happened to meet up with this friend and her guardians while waiting for the other friend. One of these guardians happened to be really controlling and bossy in telling me how to do things.

I live alone and I am not under a guardianship and I really feel like she talks to me as if I am never doing anything right and that I am self-centered.

How do I further tackle associates like these?

Usually I just ignore pushy talk like that. In rare instances, I lose controll and retort, "That's really insulting." I've never regretted it.

I really feel like wanting to write to this person and tell them how I further feel because they don't seem to respect me as a person. I also do not feel like being around them for a while since I have felt really bad afterwards on several occasions. When I let them know that I didn't like what they were doing, there was no part on their end where they even bothered to apologize or even offer to talk to me. Instead, they were leaving anyway as this was a plan, and they walked by and said, "Bye," in a short and almost snobby tone.

You can just say "Thank you" with a big smile, and then remind the person that you are an adlt and you did not ask for his advise, but that you will ask him if you need help in the future, then walk away. I have noticed when you are gentle people get the message better and usually do not even reply to you. You should notmstand anybody trying to tell you how to live your life.

Summer, it sounds to me that you did just fine.

I wouldn't advise sending them a letter. It's clear that they don't respect you. Some poeple simply don't know how to behave respectfully and no amount of admonition will make them better. I say, leave them be; I don't think you want to be around that kind of behavior. Sending them a letter may result in pulling them in on top of you. Yuck.

If you feel you need some cleansing expression, write the letter but don't send it. Do something symbolic with it like wrapping it in an incense stick and burning it or tear it into confetti and release it in a cleansing wind or flowing water.

Be well; your independance and self respect are intact.

I did forget to mention that I did something that this individual did not like and tried to tell me how to do something and I looked at her and said, "I think I know when someone buys something lady," and then walked away. I then walked back over and said, "I also don't need to be condescended on."

there are always going to be NTs who try to correct things an aspie does when it is not merely a matter of right/wrong but a style issue. you have to understand that they are doing it for the pleasure of correcting, & there's no reason to take it personally. i have made agreeable noises & then ignored these "corrections" all my life. it doesn't pay to oppose them.

I did happen to write this woman an e-mail and mention that I really enjoyed spending time with their daughter and then I mentioned that I felt like she was being really controlling and somewhat rude. I also mentioned that she seemed to treat me as if I were 12 rather than 30 and I could not accept it. Finally, I mentioned that my feelings were hurt and that rest of my day happened to be ruined.


Was that too harsh?