Need Some Advice From This Group.
I am 25. When I was 18 I moved from my mother's house to my boyfriend and his parents' house. Got married at 19, divorced last December (On our 6 year anniversary, actually). Moved in with another guy for 3 months, then flew back out to my hometown, where I was for about 6 months. I'm currently visiting my Grandmother, and will be going to my dad's in a few days. While I'm there (in Tennessee) I will be looking for jobs and apartments in Tucson, so I can be close to my 3 1/2 year old son (who lives with my ex-husband). The only time I have been on my own is while my ex was deployed for 15 months. It was... fairly disastrous. And I didn't even have to support myself then, I just spent the money he was making out there.
So basically, I am getting ready to support myself for the first time. I would like to be aware of the pitfalls I might encounter.
I am good at making budgets, not as good at following them, but I think it will be easier once I know I am on my own and solely responsible for my finances. When I was married, I usually made the budget, but my ex did not always follow it. I think a budget for one person would be easier than a budget for a family, but I could be wrong.
I have an idea of what sort of diet I want to follow, but again, easier said than done, especially when money will likely be tight (I have a high school diploma and minimal job experience).
I worry about finding and keeping a full-time job, this has been a challenge for me in the past.
I have only 5 classes left to finish my associate's in business admin. I plan on re-enrolling and doing my classes online. This is about 4 months of classes, but I think I can do it, since it's all writing papers, which I am good at. I can do this in my time off work.
I tend to let things get a little messy, but I plan on finding better ways to manage my time. It will help immensely if I can find a regular 9 - 5 job on weekdays rather than one that schedules employees at all sorts of various hours throughout the week.
I don't have a car, so I'll have to save up for one. I'll be taking the bus in Tucson, and public transit makes me kind of anxious. Again, I think a 9 - 5 will help this since I can get on the same buses every work day.
I have plenty of furniture in my ex-husband's garage. Probably more than I will need for a small apartment, so no worries there.
I get lonely/depressed easily, so I hope to find some sort of in-person social life outside of work. Any recommendations on how to find local groups that are accepting of people who act differently?
How do you allot time to your hobbies/interests with such a full schedule?
I likely won't have health insurance unless I can find a job with good benefits. I also need glasses, but I might just save up for those myself. Dental isn't too important to me, since I take good care of my teeth and have never had a dental problem more complicated than the occasional cavity.
As for day to day stuff like dishes, laundry, cooking, etc. I am pretty good at all that.
Is there anything I'm missing? What were the hardest parts for you if you live alone?
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The status is NOT quo!
Wow, that's quite a comprehensive list you've made! I'm not really sure what advice you are looking for, though. So I'll try and answer a few of the issues you've raised:
Perhaps the first thing is to think about priorities, and allocate time to the more important aspects?
Alloting time: perhaps you could use a weekly planner or day-to-day diary to help allocate your time? So you might try setting aside time slots for studying, food shopping, doing your household accounts, enjoying your hobbies etc. If you like being organised and having routines, this could be useful to you.
Job-hunting: continuing with the idea of a weekly planner, how about setting aside chunks of time across the week for job-hunting? Breaking it down into different aspects of job-hunting may help - eg looking for jobs, completing applications for jobs etc.
I hope this is helpful - my apologies if I've missed the point and haven't answered your request for advice properly.
Be very careful with Arizona. It is one of the most depressed states in the USA, and there are not a lot of jobs which you can support yourself with. The business admin degree will help, but you will be competing heavily with any and every one who needs a job.
As far as advice I can give. Give yourself an allowance, and don't spend over it if your goal is to not overspend. Don't use credit cards at all. Food can be simple and not costly. Things like pasta, rice, eggs are all very low cost, yet healthy for you. Getting fast food, and going out to restaurants is what costs so much money.
Good Luck.
I'm a good cook and I don't eat a lot, I could easily feed myself on $50 a week.
I talked to my ex and he still has both cars, which he refinanced, so he is going to give me one, which is only $90 a month (of course then there is gas and insurance to worry about).
Got my old cell phone turned back on since I get charged for it anyway.
I'm going back on the 17th, which is only about 2 weeks away, and I still need a job and looking to rent a room for a few months before looking for an apartment.
I'm starting to talk to some people in Tucson online, so I'll have a few people to spend time with when I get there. I'm also in a certain program and can make friends there as well.
_________________
The status is NOT quo!
You mentioned that you have experienced difficulty finding and keeping full time work. In my experience, being successful in a job is quite a bit easier if your work is related to one of your passions.
Initially you may just have to take what you can get. But, ultimately you can probably find a way to turn your passions into something that makes a living. With this in mind, I went to your blog and found the link to your artwork (which looks really cool BTW) thinking that might be an area where you could find work and have a greater chance of succeeding in that job. Have you considered looking for a job that is related to art in some way? Selling your art to make ends meet might be difficult at least initially. But what about a job at an art gallery or museum? Or maybe a job at a store that caters to artists?
You also write well and show a good sense of humor in your writing. Surprisingly few people have good writing skills. So make sure you mention that as a strength in your resume, interviews, etc.
P.S. If you are just looking for something to make ends in the short run, I have some friends in Tucson that might be able to help with some job related leads.
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D in So Cal, USA
Official Dx: ASD and ADHD
hanks ND. I hve applied to a few art-related jobs, such as Michael's and PictureMe Portrit Studios. No word back from either. I would love to get a job writing freelance, but I've no idea where to begin! I've applied to probably a dozen or so jobs in the area. Still no word back, and I leave in 9 days. I don't even have a place to live yet!
_________________
The status is NOT quo!
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