I worry, Does he feel I abandoned him?
I dated a man for a year and a half. He has a grown autistic son who is 35. It saddened me greatly to see that his grown son got very VERY little to no attention or acknowledgement whatsoever from anyone including his dad his own mother or even his sister. If am to be honest he is virtually ignored by most everyone. No one really seemed to ever compliment or point about the special abilities he possesses. It bothered me so much I tried to make up for it by doing just that....always commenting on the incredible gifts he had and how proud I was of him. He was a genius when it came to tech stuff.
Anyway, we really bonded as a spent a good bit of time with him taking him places to eat and to shop and to carnivals etc. I felt it was so important to boost his sense of self esteem so I did what I could to let him know that he was so loved and so special to me. Unfortunately his dad and I split up a few weeks back and I wonder if I should continue the effort to try and see him. I miss him terribly but I simply don't know if this is a one-sided sentiment given the fact that he is a high functioning autistic young man. I don't want to complicate his life or make him uncomfortable in any way, but I also don't want him to ever feel as though I am indifferent to him because that simply could not be further from the truth. I often hear that Aspies and Auties don't usually miss people much so I'm asking for any input I can find about what to do moving forward. Should I continue to reach out or is he likely okay without me. Maybe he just doesn't miss or need me in the same way.....Does anyone have any thoughts? Thank you all so much for reading this post!
Do you have the son's e-mail address? If so, you could e-mail him how you feel and then give him the option to respond. I would not send a letter because it could be intercepted by the father. I would not continue the communication with the son if he does not respond. You can write him say 3 e-mails at least one week apart, in case he might not notice the first 1 or 2 because they went to the spam folder. Otherwise, issues I can't think of could arise if things get too personal and you don't see him in-person by chance. If you do see him in-person by chance, that's your opportunity to connect with him and see if he is interested in keeping in touch. If he's not sure, I would take that as a "no". Good luck gilmour11

Thank you so very much for taking the time to respond. I sincerely appreciate it. I think that is a good idea. I've been trying to think of ways to bring it up without putting him on the spot too bad. I'll just have to figure out a very delicate subtle approach as a way of finding out if her really wants to see me moving forward. Since I've been the only person who really gives him any kind of meaningful attention I assumed he would feel abandoned or miss me but perhaps I am wrong. Perhaps my efforts haven't really been all that noticed by him. I think he has grown used to be treated as though he is invisible, so maybe he doesn't feel a strong need for much doting. Thank you again so much!
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