Shopping question

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Need some perspective from the group. I do the majority of my shopping off hours when there are very few people around (usually, early morning). However, occasionally there will be a person standing in front of whatever item it is I need (sometimes, of all things, talking on the phone). If you've happened upon this situation, are you more likely to say "excuse me" so you can access the item you need, or just walk away and come back so you don't have to interact with someone ?

If there are other things I need in that aisle, or the aisles on either side, I am more likely to get those things and then come back to that product. If not, I am more likely to politely say "Excuse me." If an aisle is very crowded I am also likely to pick up stuff in another aisle, and then return. I do my big orders at Walmart, because I have to use the electric scooter carts they have, and I usually tug one of their big regular carts along behind. That way I don't have to load the car and then come back in for another load. Going through the store riding one cart and hauling another takes up a lot of floor space, so it is best to put off the crowded aisles, until the crowd thins out.

Although I prefer to avoid social occasions like parties, I can almost always handle store contacts. If something is too high up or too far back or too low and far back (bad knees and back make it hard to bend), I will ask for help. I can manage the local mini marts, because my favorite one has small shopping carts, as well as hand baskets. Since I am not in there as long as I would be in the Walmart, I can walk that smaller store while holding onto the cart.

I realize that a lot of us on the spectrum have trouble with simply saying "Excuse me, please," but the people you need to say that to are not likely to bite your head off. I used to have a bigger problem with this when I was younger, but after many years of temping, I got more used to dealing with strangers. I still don't care for it, but I can handle it much better. And, I am willing to be polite and civil when dealing with strangers. This sometimes works when dealing with difficult relatives and acquantances. I can't stand my older brother's wife, for good reasons, but am always polite and civil when I occasionally see her at my father's house, so things have gone well. Hey, as long as I don't have to spend a lot of time with her, or horrors, live with her, I'm cool with polite and civil.

Just keep your own cool when you need to speak to people, and remember, we on the spectrum are all:

A Different Drummer

If a man does not keep pace with his companions,
Perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer.
Let him step to the music which he hears,
However measured or far away.

--Henry David Thoreau

I also do my shopping at non-rush-hours/mornings.

Me, i usually just say "Move!" - and they move. If someone asks me the same, i move.

People on the phone are usually rather ignorant about the world around them. They always tend to stand around where people walk, rarely do i see anyone that steps aside and thinks about other people. Its like their IQ/EQ drops 20 points when they are on it.

I just say "excuse me" and reach over and get it. If they are seriously blocking it, and are on the phone and don't hear me, I touch their arm, point to the item I want and smile and say "excuse me".

Most people step back quickly and say "Oh! I'm sorry!" I just smile and say something like "We've all done that"

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Usually, I will stand there and wait for a few minutes, staring at what I need, but if they don't move I will say excuse me and then barge right in there and get my item. If i am in a rush I don't wait, just sayit and keep on moving. If I leave the aisle, I tend to forget to come back, I really hate grocery stores and I focus on getting what I need and getting out, and I have my route planned out in my head. If there is a large group of chatters, I will sometimes decide I can do without that item this week, and skip it on purpose.

I also go on off hours. If someone is standing in my way I generally just stand silently and wait for them to move.

Have you ever noticed the way stores are laid out; for you to "shop the pattern"? I've found that if someone is in my way in produce (at the beginning of the store) then I'm gonna be tripping over them the whole way through the store. My solution: if that happens, I go to the "end" & work my way backwards. Weird, I know, but it does save me a lot of grief in my shopping.

(Is it just me or do people go shopping not knowing what they want to get? I mean, sure, sometimes I take a moment to chose the cereal or ya' have to look at different packages of meat or items in produce; but usually I'm there to get what's on my list & I really don't want to "hang out" at the grocery store.)

Hmmmmm, grocery stores are sort of a special interest of mine, so it might be me standing there reading all the labels. Just say, "Excuse me," and I'll move, or even hand you what you want.

I just say "excuse me" as generally I want my item. One weird thing I do compared to most "NTs" I know grocery shopping, I won't have a list, but what I'll do, is I'll go through each aisle a few times without picking out anything, and just basically scan through the entire grocery store and make a mental checklist of items I want, what stuff costs relative to what I have, and then go back to the aisles where I remember stuff is, and go get it. I've spent like an hour in the grocery store to buy a half a dozen to a dozen items. I guess I'm kinda weird.

It depends on the person. If they are looking at what I want to look at, I usually wait until they're done. If, however, they are just blocking what I want then I will say, "Excuse me," if they look like a nice person. Sometimes I just reach over them, though. A few times I have purposely brushed against people who really ticked me off, which I shouldn't have done.
My husband is worse than me. He is very shy and expresses it by getting angry. Sometimes he makes loud comments about how rude the blocker is being, which is a bit embarrassing.

This happened today when i was buying tea. I stood there for 3-4minutes staring at the person then just moved their cart and grabbed what i needed.

You could say "excuse me" and get your item. The body movement and your position may give them the message to move to the side. If they still don't move and you get the item, if you accidentally bump into them, you could say "sorry".

I'll wait about 30 seconds, hoping they will see me and move along, but if they don't, I'll say "excuse me" as I go for the goods.

I've noticed that if someone knows you are waiting for them to move, they will deliberatly linger longer than necessary. Like, if you are waiting for them to load their groceries in their vehicle so you can get their parking spot - they seem to all of a sudden switch to slow motion mode.

^ A few years ago, I read a study that proved this is true. Some scientists watched footage from a parking lot, and timed how long it took people to leave a parking space after they had gotten into their car. When someone else was waiting for the space, it took about 3 minutes longer for the first person to leave.

I do most of my grocery shopping after hours, but not straight after work as that's when everyone else finishing work fills the supermarket aisles and carpark. Sometimes I go to the supermarket a bit out of town as I know it will be quiet there and I can usually get a park straight out front. A big new Coles concept store opened here recently so I've been going to that a bit though.

I'm really inpatient when it comes to people lingering in front of items I want or taking up too much of the aisle (you can hear the audible groan in my voice after about 2 seconds before I say excuse me). They seem to not notice at all that there are other people who need to use the aisle too. If trolleys and baskets had a horn I'd use them .