How to Communicate with an Aspie Indirect Communicator?

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I'm about to seek IRB approval to write my first article to be published in a peer reviewed sociological journal. IRB stands for institutional review board and it basically means that my university needs to give me approval to study human subjects. I want to write a case study on someone.

I'm need help from the WP community because I'm not sure how to approach the man I'd like to study. I have an enormous amount of respect for him and I don't want to offend him or make him suspicious but I'm SO interested in him that I want to write about him more than anything! The big problem is that he does not communicate directly.

He's about 68 years old and he looks like Albert Einstein. He walks around town and lives mostly independently. His sister is a psychologist who describes him as "autistic with some aspects of Asperger's." According to his sister, they are from an affluent family who were ashamed of him and put him an an institution when he was little, then sent him away to live with their grandparents. I know something about institutional treatment in this area around the time he would have been there and he was probably treated very badly.

He has been walking around the small city where I'm from for at least twenty years, looking at things and making observations. He's an expert about the transformers on the tops of power lines and he collects food labels. He listens to NPR and makes notes about social issues. I'm not sure if he reads books or just makes notes about books. It appears that he reads books. He reads the newspaper regularly. He is very interested in criminology and class systems. He likes outlaw country music (like Waylon Jennings). He likes slapstick kinds of jokes and sometimes gets the giggles. He sometimes disobeys social rules pretty openly and I SUSPECT that he does this because he doesn't care, not because he doesn't know. For example, he sometimes drinks gallons of milk or reads the newspaper on his hands and knees in the convenience store he likes. Once I was talking to him and he seemed so engaged in thought that he plucked out an eyebrow and chewed on it like a toothpick. He speaks almost entirely in survey-type questions, although ONCE he asked me directly if I was still teaching. I took this as a tremendous compliment. I've also noticed him listening to my conversations sometimes, which I'm also taking as a hopeful sign. I've asked him direct questions before and he's replied with "I don't know" which I take to be a deflector response.

I'm thinking about introducing the idea of a study gently, by trying to tell him via survey-type statements that I'm doing a study. Then at some later point suggesting that I want to study him. I'm not sure how to get this idea across without upsetting him, since I think he's been abused before by people who don't respect him.

Oh and I've witnessed people disrespecting him directly before because they think he's crazy or can't understand them. I've told them that he's autistic and brilliant but they get angry when I say this (because stupid people like to think that they're smart). I feel like this happens to him a lot because he does stand out and I guess that threatens small minded people. I feel like he likes me now, but I'm afraid when I introduce the idea of "studying" that he might change his mind.

Thoughts?

I don't understand what you mean by survey type statements and questions and what you mean by him speaking in this style. Can you be more specific?

Ex)

Situation: A police officer is making coffee at the coffee station.

This man will ask the following questions in rapid succession seemingly directed to no one in particular:

Aspie man: What kind of person is more likely to carry a knife during a crime and what kind of person is likely to carry a gun? White collar or blue collar?

Because of the subject matter he seems to be talking to the cop, but his body language is such that he doesn't seem to be talking directly to the cop.

When the answers from others seem to dry up, he'll move on to another question.

Aspie man: What kind of knife is it?

Further questions may have nothing to do with the previous question.

Aspie man: Why is it that woman like little yapping dogs? Why don't they like big strong dogs?

Aspie man: Why don't people like to go hunting anymore, with the heads of beasts over the mantle and the big crackling fire?

People often have trouble answering questions like this, because he seems to be making assumptions and being sort of picturesque with his question.

Aspie man: Why do people like pornography with little kids in it? Why don't they like the kind with adults in it like the old days?

Some of his questions, like the last one, reflect that he's been reading the newspaper, noticed something and then incorrectly concluded that "everyone" does something that just a few people do which has made the news.

Well, can't be me. My sister's a teacher turned software tester. When I told her about my diagnosis she said "that's not aspergers, it's a ... Family thing"

I'd survived half a century on the understanding that really, everyone else was just like me and I really, really didn't want to shift from that. If only the model had worked.

From your description I gather he does a lot of reading. Most direct route to clear communication with him may be text. You may find that easier than verbal. Best to be direct. If you want to study him, write that and the why and the how you wish to proceed. Do not be overly concerned with being polite. Speaking for myself, politeness in such a situation would be lost on me anyway.

^ THAT is a really good idea! Thank you! It might be a few days (or even a couple of weeks) before I'm permitted to speak to him at all because of my institutions regulations. In the meantime if anyone has any other ideas, I would love to hear them.

I'll write up something. I may post it here to see what you guys think.

THANK YOU, Mr. Stewart!

I second the communicating via writing suggestion.

I think that this man asks these questions because these idears happen to pop into his head at these times. I sometimes do this, and I don't need anyone to answer the questions or comment on the comments.

I made my first attempt communicating with the man I mentioned who I would say has limited verbal skills and communicates indirectly. I tried introducing the two things I wanted to speak with him about into conversation about other things, without expecting him to answer me directly. I hope that he will think about my two questions and I will be able to reintroduce the subjects again later without freaking him out.

Me: "What kind of people do you think like to communicate by writing and what kind do you think prefer to speak out loud?"

I had to ask this twice, but the second time he responded by asking me:

"Do people who have dogs like to communicate by talking more than people who like menagerie animals [turtles, birds, snakes, etc]?"

I answered yes because I thought that dogs were social animals and people who appreciated menagerie animals that are less affectionate/social probably also are the kinds of people who don't need to be so social with people.

He asked me many rapid fire questions about social issues for about a half hour and I answered them to the best of my ability. Then I asked my second important question:

Me: "What do you think of someone who is different?" He asked "You mean like tall?" I said "Yes, or a child who is smarter than other children and has to tolerate them for being stupid?" From the way he looked at me I think that question got to him. I asked him what kind of adults those smart kids turned out to be. He said, "I don't know. What do you think?" I felt he was overstressed and so I told him they were probably white collar adults. Class systems are one of his comfort subjects of discussion. He changed the subject to dogs again (another comfort subject), which I think confirmed that he needed to stop talking about surprise topics.

He followed me outside continuing to ask questions, which is what he usually does when he sees me, but then he stood in the parking lot and watched me drive away with my dog. This was an usual thing for him to do. I smiled at him and waved before I drove off and of course he didn't respond but he kept looking at me. I got the impression that he was thinking.

I believe if I reintroduce these new subjects again at a later time they will be less stressful because he will have had a chance to think about them.

I would welcome any thoughts.

I made my first attempt communicating with the man I mentioned who I would say has limited verbal skills and communicates indirectly. I tried introducing the two things I wanted to speak with him about into conversation about other things, without expecting him to answer me directly. I hope that he will think about my two questions and I will be able to reintroduce the subjects again later without freaking him out.

Me: "What kind of people do you think like to communicate by writing and what kind do you think prefer to speak out loud?"

I had to ask this twice, but the second time he responded by asking me:

"Do people who have dogs like to communicate by talking more than people who like menagerie animals [turtles, birds, snakes, etc]?"

I answered yes because I thought that dogs were social animals and people who appreciated menagerie animals that are less affectionate/social probably also are the kinds of people who don't need to be so social with people.

He asked me many rapid fire questions about social issues for about a half hour and I answered them to the best of my ability. Then I asked my second important question:

Me: "What do you think of someone who is different?" He asked "You mean like tall?" I said "Yes, or a child who is smarter than other children and has to tolerate them for being stupid?" From the way he looked at me I think that question got to him. I asked him what kind of adults those smart kids turned out to be. He said, "I don't know. What do you think?" I felt he was overstressed and so I told him they were probably white collar adults. Class systems are one of his comfort subjects of discussion. He changed the subject to dogs again (another comfort subject), which I think confirmed that he needed to stop talking about surprise topics.

He followed me outside continuing to ask questions, which is what he usually does when he sees me, but then he stood in the parking lot and watched me drive away with my dog. This was an usual thing for him to do. I smiled at him and waved before I drove off and of course he didn't respond but he kept looking at me. I got the impression that he was thinking.

I believe if I reintroduce these new subjects again at a later time they will be less stressful because he will have had a chance to think about them.

I would welcome any thoughts.

This man seems very intriguing: I always seem to get fascinated with people like him. I would agree that you should let him answer your questions at his own pace: I'm sure he's thinking about them at least and may be able to answer them over time. Out of curiosity, what do you think will be some of the topics you'll discuss in the case study when, presumably, you will be able to do it?

It really depends on what I find out from listening to him. I have noticed that he seems to be practicing a kind of amateur or "street" sociology and this interests me a lot since I'm a sociologist myself. I want to know what he's interested in, how he makes his observations, and what conclusions he's come to. I think these are sociologically important. I think if I can show this, it will highlight how being outside of society can give one a clearer lens OF society.

Meaning: There is nothing wrong with the way autistic people see society. It's like neurotypical people are unconscious dream actors and autistic people are lucid dreamers.

I think this is important not just for autism academia/awareness, but for social construction, which is the study of the falseness of things made up by humans (intelligence, money, marriage, families, numbers, etc). It's easy to say that someone is "crazy" because they're pointing out something obvious that makes everyone else uncomfortable to think about.

Very interesting: I can definitely see a social constructionist perspective here: I have studied this concept in some of my psychology classes and have always been fascinated by it.

I think it would be neat to assess the "culture" of sorts that he has created for himself and what themes and thinking processes are prevalent. I have noticed that most people on the spectrum (including myself) are largely governed by a world within themselves, rather than looking to others to form their sense of self and identity. They may blend in with others superficially and in ways they can control (i.e. fashion, makeup, etc) but they are largely independent of others in terms of their thought processes.

Society is lead to believe that these variations are somehow faulty or "bad" and not consider the potential benefits of interacting with people like this. I find that they reject people who display some variations more strongly than others: particularly people who are very blunt and state things that create cognitive dissonance within people...specifically, people who remind others of their own and society's faults. In the example of the man you know: he will talk about social class, which is something I find that people avoid thinking about, because they want to remain blind to their own privileges. When someone dismisses a person like this, it shows something about society in general: that the person who rejected him would rather not think for themselves.

I find that in general, other people don't like being challenged to question the societal standards that most people adhere to. It's unfortunate because I think about these things quite a lot myself, and it allows me to see how the world *really* functions apart from the hype that most people believe without questioning. I think that, if more people talked about things like this, people would be more motivated to create positive change and equality in both their own society and others. I, for one, would love to meet this man and to see what issues go through his head, and I'll also be following this thread for any updates with your research.

would be interesting to see if you studied a woman with this condition in parallel to this man. because of the social interaction this guy is getting vs what a woman would get from you and it's worth.

I try to only drink out of half gallon or quart milk or orange juice jugs. I once saw a fat guy drink a gallon milk jug in a car and I was like "woah a whole new world is opened to me" then as I was shopping for chocolate milk, I saw a single serving chocolate milk for like $1.25 and the half gallon for $2. I picked the half gallon.

Also, does this man own a car? You should tell him how he can wrap food in aluminum foil and cook it/warm it on his exhaust manifold. It's pure magic.

EDIT:
The reason he's being indirect is because you're being indirect.

You're like "Hey what do you think of people who are different." He's like "I dunno, they are I guess?" Would you answer some random person any differently? If you just approached them and said, "Hey look, I know from talking to your family that you've been diagnosed as autistic/Aspergers, I find you interesting and wish to talk to you a bit about it as part of a research study I'm doing." Done. Otherwise he's either oblivious to the true deep meanings of your questions, or thinks you're prying for a possibly malicious meaning, and has enough social sense to know you're prying him for answers. I've not been institutionalized, but from my experience people who interview me tend not to have good intentions (this comes from seeing hundreds of psychologists and social workers.)

I personally find this hilarious though. You're thinking he's an indirect communicator and he likely thinks you're one. Anyway, it's simple exchange, he will not reveal "big things" about himself unless you reveal "big things" about you. And of course, he may decline being "interviewed" by you. Just as you might decline some random psychologist type person who talks to you in the street from interviewing you, perhaps? Just state your true intentions and let him decide.