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beatlebug731
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30 Apr 2013, 8:48 pm

I know that I'm not considered an older adult on this forum, but I really value the opinions and advice of those who are older than I am. I do live on my own and my apartment is a complete wreck!! Part of the problem is that I work at least 6 days a week, a lot of times 7. I have 2 jobs right now and I'm also applying for full time jobs in special education (namely Autism Support Positions :P) so that I don't need to work two jobs. So basically, I have a TON on my plate right now and I hate going home because my apartment is a mess, but I can't seem to focus enough to get it cleaned up and I'm also constantly on the run. I really can't afford to get an organization or ADHD coach either. But I wanted to see if anyone has any strategies that have worked for them. Any help would be wonderful :D Thank you!! !


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Here comes the sun (Du du du du)
Here comes the sun
And I say
It's alright

Little darling
It's been a long cold lonely winter
Little darling
It feels like years since it's been here

Here comes the sun (Du du du du)
Here comes the sun
And I s


slapdash
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01 May 2013, 11:24 pm

For life in general - I think it's a lot easier if you use technology - like a calendar. You can set long term plans and thing you want to accomplish by spending just a few minutes putting in the smaller parts over time.

NOW - when things get stressed and you start to feel overwhelmed you can reduce the scope (or range of days) that you pay attention to. For example, in the middle of winter when nothing is going on I will look over the next 2-3 weeks of things I should be concerned about. Alternatively, in the middle of summer when plans are CRAZY busy, I will generally only pay attention to a couple days or less. Some times just a few hours. It's important to actively control this range or you can risk getting overwhelmed.

And, as for the apartment, I'd simply suggest to schedule 15-30 minutes a day, to cleaning. It's not a lot - but if you do it everyday you are looking at a an accumulation of 1.75-3.5 hours. It will add up and you'll get on top of it. Put something on the radio that's a special interest or something.

The big thing is sticking to it. It will be more difficult if you are an aspie. Start small and keep trying. It will get better.

AND - Good for you as it sounds you are doing well so far!


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neilson_wheels
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02 May 2013, 5:26 am

All good advice above.

I think there were a few similar posts recently, can I suggest you use the search function.



Marky9
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02 May 2013, 6:27 am

My apartment is also a mess. Historically I keep a tidy place, but my current job situation places so many demands on me that I come home mentally and physically exhausted. So for now my place looks more like the room of a messy teenager, and I choose to be Ok with that. I know that when things calm down I will eventually get the place in better order. Until then, I choosing not to allow the mess to make things worse by stressing me out.



scyphozoa
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08 May 2013, 3:43 pm

i don't like cleaning and am not very good at it. a few years ago i started using a maid service i found online and it's been great. it was a phone call to arrange things then i left keys under mat for first visit and never had to meet or interact with anyone. just get a nice clean place when i come home. i get stressed a bit and embarrassed wondering what they think if my place is messy or if i have too many books or if my place isn't like other places they clean and what not but i've found it to be really helpful on the whole and would recommend it.



Cirrocumulus
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03 Jun 2013, 1:49 am

About organisation: A couple of favorite books on task management helped me enormously. One is Getting Things Done by David Allen, and the other is Do it Tomorrow by Mark Forster. There's a lot on the web on these if you don't want to buy the books (a.k.a "GTD" and "DIT"), and it's not hard to find pirate torrents of Getting Things Done ;) As an aspie however, I've had to continually beware of getting bogged down in too much organising. For me, essential organisation includes keeping a list of currently active projects & at least 1 "next action" for each project. Only place things on calendar if you must, otherwise just select a short list of "next actions" for a "to do" list.

Both Forster & Allen advise against using a simple "to do today" list, & offer alternatives. Forster's idea of a "closed list" is useful. It's basically a daily task list, but new tasks may not be added until all tasks are done (unless it's an emergency / significant consequences). If not all tasks on the closed list are done on the same day as intended, do them the next day. When new tasks arise, put them on a separate list for the next closed list.

It's a great load off my mind to do task management on a reliable external system, written down. Much less confusing, and it frees up mental resources to be much more relaxed & better deal with other things, and get more done with available time & energy.

It seems from your post however that the problem is likely not just organisation, but also that you're very busy, and probably have competing priorities including the need for rest and more enjoyable activities (very important!). Establishing unpleasant habits, and much more difficult: maintaining them, to use psychology jargon, is a self-regulatory challenge, and classic behavior modification techniques such as "shaping" are important. For example: start with a very small, even an inadequate amount of the desired habit, give it strong positive reinforcement immediately afterwards (strictly contingent on the behavior), and very gradually increase the amount of the behavior. Also avoid the positive reinforcement for doing "wrong" behaviors instead (making sure there's plenty of time to do them at other times). Analyse the ABCs: antecedents, behavior, consequences.

Importantly, always consider whether you have the resources for the desired habit at the desired time, and be realistic. Do you need more rest at this time? If fatigue &/or stress &/or distractions are on the increase, then it's not sustainable unless required change or adjustments are made.



Tomas73
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04 Jun 2013, 6:44 pm

Marky9 wrote:
My apartment is also a mess. Historically I keep a tidy place, but my current job situation places so many demands on me that I come home mentally and physically exhausted. So for now my place looks more like the room of a messy teenager, and I choose to be Ok with that. I know that when things calm down I will eventually get the place in better order. Until then, I choosing not to allow the mess to make things worse by stressing me out.


Yup, I can relate to that. I too think it's important to allow yourself to be messy if you've got a lot on. I save up the cleaning for whenever I feel inspired to do it, whilst also perhaps doing the odd bit if I find it at hand and not too demanding. When, very rarely, things aren't stressful, I might blitz the place, maybe even with the help of my girlfriend ( if I'm lucky). But hey, you can only do your best. I don't like living in mess, but I don't like cleaning even more! :wink:



Woodfish
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05 Jun 2013, 6:32 pm

Getting organized in any way and also getting things done, even the very smallest has always been enormously challenging for me. What i do these days that I feel is almost magical is to try to make each project, each decision or plan ever smaller. Like, rather than thinking I have to clean up my apartment or even I have to clean up my room. I now try something like "I'll do half of THAT pile of junk right now". Nothing else. No plans or thoughts. Just the top half of that one pile of mess.

Once that's done, maybe after 10 minutes or 20 or some such I have earned a break, obviously :-) Then the process starts over. A little later.

Well, in my case it has meant that rather than living in a bug infested landfill I live in a remarkably clean and uncluttered apartment these days. And it still feels like magic. Something with .. having done a few half stacks of junk .. then you're energized .. then that just keeps increasing IME .. but only as long as I take the rule not to plan ahead at all really seriously.


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Adamantium
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07 Jul 2013, 10:18 am

Cirrocumulus wrote:
About organisation: A couple of favorite books on task management helped me enormously. One is Getting Things Done by David Allen, and the other is Do it Tomorrow by Mark Forster. There's a lot on the web on these if you don't want to buy the books (a.k.a "GTD" and "DIT"), and it's not hard to find pirate torrents of Getting Things Done ;) As an aspie however, I've had to continually beware of getting bogged down in too much organising. For me, essential organisation includes keeping a list of currently active projects & at least 1 "next action" for each project. Only place things on calendar if you must, otherwise just select a short list of "next actions" for a "to do" list.


I read GTD years ago and was totally enthusiastic about the idea behind it and set about trying to implement it. Then I found that maintaining the system had become an exhausting chore. By the time I was done sorting everything into context specific lists, I was ready to rest... and then I did not want to look at those context specific lists. I have tried to work with a streamlined version, but it is not easy. It sounds like you may also be working with a modified GTD--how do you make this work?