How have you learnt to live with aspergers as an adult

Post Reply New Topic

So how have you learnt to function in the NT world? How did you accomplish that? This is mainly for the diagnosed folk. Now I know you cant be cured of AS but you can adapt your behaviours to be more conducive to the NT civilisation. I for instance altered my prosody my gait my dress sense my posture facial expressions by listening to what others told me and watching people around me. Apparently I used to walk like someone "out of one flew over the cuckoos nest". I still have major AS traits but they're far less noticeable.


Poorly worded there. I meant to ask whether you've successfully been able to become "more NT" i.e. by learning social cues and being less literalistic

There is no qualification for diagnosis, outside of diagnosis. I've certainly been told I could pass for NT on several occasions, but that doesn't mean I'm constantly a "contributing member of society" (or any such contrived BS ), the vast majority of my AS traits and symptoms have been internalized - that is to say, responses that would usually be elicited directly from my aspie side now just echo around in my brain, including the stock standard eye contact, speech patterns etc. I love watching people's expressions when they can't pin down just what's so strange about me, which in turn has helped me level and equitably interact with the more receptive among them.

Or maybe I'm just outwardly crazy and indifferent about it.

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

Now at age 59, I find that my "symptoms", which I suppose to relate to my ability to cope with and blend productively into the NT world, have been decidedly non-linear.

Up until my late 40's I learned and was able to apply more and more coping skills. So up until that time I can say that my "symptoms lessened with age".

But once I hit 50, things changed. While I am still as knowledgeable as ever, for some reason the ability to translate that into coping behaviors has increasingly lessened. If I were one to indulge in all-caps I would scream out the following: "There is little or no information about ASD and aging". And by that I am not referring to the popular notion of midlife; I am referring to people like me who are beyond the proverbial, cliched midlife (40ish) crisis.

I can find the odd reference to something called 'burnout", which is about as precise a name I can find for what I am experiencing. I have some hypotheses about what is behind my current experience, but they are no more than that.

(Rant Alert) Call me senior, elder, old-folk - I don't care what the label is; I just want this growing segment of our ASD community and its unique considerations to at least be granted the dignity of greater acknowledgement. (End Rant)

So to answer the question, yes, my symptoms lessened with age up to a point, beyond which they have begin to become more challenging.

As I get older, my toleration for people talking is getting less and less

I am surviving by shifting my work schedule earlier and earlier. I am at my desk at 5am so I get 3 hours if work in before others show up. Then I can focus on being 'social'

I think your poll question isn't the question you're asking in the text.

Have your symptoms lessened with age?
No my symptoms are exactly the same.

Are you coping better with age?
Yes, I've learned to better manage my difficulties, and don't endure situations to the point of meltdown.

Social Skills better over time. Executive functioning a lot worse especially the last few years.

I started off giving people a lot more benefit of the doubt. That has steadily eroded, as well as losing some big chunks at various milestones in my life. Now, like my AS mom in her later years, I'm prone to ranting about how stupid people are.
Since getting a DX, I can see that even though we could both pass as NT for parts of a day, her advice on keeping things brief was a good idea. I used to assume I fit in better than I did; now I see the problems better.

my symptoms lessened for a while during and after group therapy, which was brutal but effective. when i reached middle-age burn-out they reapparred in spades. of course, i have no aspie-specific support and have had no understanding of my condition until recently. currently no access to resources. hopefully when i get to a real city i can find a therapist who understands both asperger's and ptsd - although finding just one or the other who is good, is difficult enough; i don't hold out much hope. i will probably prioritize the aspie "problem" first though.

I have improved, but I have really had to fend for myself. It would be nice to have some external help, but the area that I live in is quite rural and more than 30 miles to a city, so there isn't much I can do unless I move...