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juASp
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Joined: 7 Jun 2018
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07 Jun 2018, 10:21 pm

Hi everyone, new here and a pleasure to be here. Curious why there's a "womens section" but no "mens section"? =)

Anyway, I'm a self-diagnosed aspie, never been formally diagnosed because I can feign acting normal if I invest enough energy into it, particularly with psychologists, but deep down I know I've had this since I was young given the way I've always been perceived by others and the way I view the world. I'm 33 now.

I noticed when walking that sometimes people say I walk like a robot. When standing still I'm unsure where to place my arms. Any "normal" moving or randomly moving my hand to appear relaxed is entirely forced and learned. Eye contact, small talk etc I can do when I'm in the right frame of mind, but prolonging it is not possible. Being naturally present and laid-back is not possible. If I take enough weed, stimulants and depressants at the same time I can be the life of the party, randomly kissing girls and building comfort with everyone, deep eye contact, minimal but slow and meaningful verbal communication with a lot of body language and confidence etc. At all other times I'm the opposite - I lack confidence and social abilities. It's almost as if some neuroreceptors are not being activated normally. I've tried every prescription drug combination you can think of, none of them are a solution.

The most difficulty I have is with non-verbal communication and body posture. No matter what I do, I can never make any of it feel natural, and if it looks natural, it's only because it's forced. I can only appear normal for short periods of time with intense focus, which quickly drains me. This even goes for things as simple as standing still like a normal person whilst waiting in a check-out line at the supermarket.

Just wondering if anyone else experiences this?



ASPartOfMe
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08 Jun 2018, 10:26 am

juASp wrote:
Hi everyone, new here and a pleasure to be here. Curious why there's a "womens section" but no "mens section"? =)

Anyway, I'm a self-diagnosed aspie, never been formally diagnosed because I can feign acting normal if I invest enough energy into it, particularly with psychologists, but deep down I know I've had this since I was young given the way I've always been perceived by others and the way I view the world. I'm 33 now.

I noticed when walking that sometimes people say I walk like a robot. When standing still I'm unsure where to place my arms. Any "normal" moving or randomly moving my hand to appear relaxed is entirely forced and learned. Eye contact, small talk etc I can do when I'm in the right frame of mind, but prolonging it is not possible. Being naturally present and laid-back is not possible. If I take enough weed, stimulants and depressants at the same time I can be the life of the party, randomly kissing girls and building comfort with everyone, deep eye contact, minimal but slow and meaningful verbal communication with a lot of body language and confidence etc. At all other times I'm the opposite - I lack confidence and social abilities. It's almost as if some neuroreceptors are not being activated normally. I've tried every prescription drug combination you can think of, none of them are a solution.

The most difficulty I have is with non-verbal communication and body posture. No matter what I do, I can never make any of it feel natural, and if it looks natural, it's only because it's forced. I can only appear normal for short periods of time with intense focus, which quickly drains me. This even goes for things as simple as standing still like a normal person whilst waiting in a check-out line at the supermarket.

Just wondering if anyone else experiences this?


Welcome to wrong planet.

It is pretty typical for those on the spectrum to have an atypical gait and different non verbal communication which causes problems with other people.

The drugs you are taking probably are lowering your inhibitions as they often do. They are likely not making you less socially atypical just socially atypical in a much more outgoing way.

I don’t know why you would want to feign normal for your psychologist.


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Spooky_Mulder
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15 Jun 2018, 8:56 am

When I have anxiety when I’m walking and talking it feels like I’m in a third person video game or out of body... it’s weird.



Fnord
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15 Jun 2018, 8:59 am

Welcome to the WrongPlanet website!

juASp wrote:
Hi everyone, new here and a pleasure to be here. Curious why there's a "womens section" but no "mens section"...
Because previous attempts at "Males Only" sections on other websites have degenerated into fora where rampant misogyny, macho posturing, p*ss*ng contests, and "Incel" propaganda dominate. Those fora quickly became so toxic and virulent that their contents spilled over into other fora that were completely unrelated to any "Males Only" topic or agenda.


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phantasmagoria
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Joined: 5 Jun 2018
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Posts: 39

16 Jun 2018, 7:49 am

I've definitely noticed that my body feels tense. The more stimuli going on, the worse it is. When I am by myself in a quiet environment it doesn't feel like as much of an issue. Certain clothing seems to make it worse also. I've mentioned it to doctors before but they just tell me to exercise more, I don't think they realize that there is a connection with ASD. I've even brought this up when I went to check out an ASD group, but nobody had anything to say about it even though it was quite noticeable in a few, I am guessing they didn't have very good self-awareness. I've been aware of it for a very long time. I liked riding a bicycle because when I'd get off and just be walking next to it with my hands on the handle bars, I would have somewhere to put my hands and not have to worry about how tense my arms were when walking. I guess it is just another thing we have to deal with that most others won't understand.



GuyInABlackSuit
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Joined: 16 Jun 2018
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17 Jun 2018, 6:41 pm

I feel anxious whenever it comes to being social. I'm more or less a regular dude if I bring myself out enough to do so. But there are many times where I feel anxious while talking to peers my age. The mildest of my anxiety is biting my lips (like I'm doing right now) and staring into space and sometimes blowing talking altogether.
I have no problem walking tho.