if you have a payee, you have to get a form from soc sec signed by your doctor saying you can handle your money if you want the money to come directly to you.
what a person gets on SSI won't pay for a decent apartment unless it's subsidized housing, for which there is a waiting list.
so talk to your doc and get on some waiting lists if an apartment and financial independence are your goals.
no, it's not selfish. it's a normal part of growing up.