Breaking up with a nt partner.

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Hi, I am new on this forum, I have not been diagnosed with aspergers, but my child, who is now 10, got diagnosed with autism at age 4, since than, I've been reading a lot of books about aspergers and autism. It was like a switch going of in me, I could relate to those people,(authors of books) like I could not relate to anyone else. My wife and I had a big argument and we broke up three months ago, since than, I've been reading more on this subject and I have done some online tests, all of the results show that I have a higher than 80% to have aspergers. The question that I wanna ask, is, whether anyone else have maybe experienced the same. In all my relationships, I've been used, my marriage of 10 years have not been different. My wife had 2-children from a previous marriage, I've virtually raised them. I've supported her father in a big way, but the moment that I've stopped giving, she has made me out to be the worse person on earth. It is as if she thinks of me as a lesser person and that for her to have had a relationship with me she had to take a big step down. Everything I did for her, she doesn't for one moment consider that I did more than what would be considered fair and reasonable. I have hardly ever spend any money on me, just on her family. I just wonder, whether anyone on here has experienced the same in relationships. (I hope this isn't to clumsy, because English is not my first language.

I lived with a woman for a year and a half. It started off nice but turned sour. Back then I didn't know I was an aspie but I did have a hard time with meeting her family, communicating well, etc. In a way the relationship was doomed. Maybe if we both knew I was autistic it would've made a difference. I don't know.

I was also in a relationship similar to yours, except mine lasted four and a half years. I always knew I was different from everyone else. Everyone let me know how strange my behaviours, my quirks, ocds were. I explained everything to my girlfriend before we decided to be in a relationship because of so many other failed attempts. She made me believe that could deal with it because she was like me. For a while she seemed to be happy with me the way I was. Until we moved in together. Then she began to test my ocds to see if they were real. Although, ever time, my anxiety would become increasingly worse. And tried to make me attend social events like parties and clubs with her friends (which I told her I couldn't do because of the bright flashing lights, loud bass, and mobs of people). That's how I found out that she had been lying. Then she began to mistreat me because I couldn't do "normal" things. That's when I switched to what my family calls my Sherlock Holmes mode. It's always been hard for me to know when people are lying, so I used to get taken advantage of a lot when I was younger. But if I focus on the facts and make a timeline then the truth prevails. I found out she had been lying about a lot of other things. We used to watch The Bridge on FX and every time Sonya Cross would be on, she would look at me and laugh. I did some research on the show and that's how I found out about Alex Plank, Aspergers, and this website. It has helped me a lot just knowing I'm not the only one, for many years I thought I was completely alone in feeling this way. But knowing that it was real and I would most likely not change made her eventually leave. Since I was a child, I remember wanting nothing more than to be normal. To understand others and be able to make friends as easily as everyone else. Now I'm not so sure.

Thanks Alex, that confirms, what I have suspected, only years after everybody told me.

I just got out of a relationship of almost three years... That's short for me really. But my ex NT fiancé was never fully understanding of my autism and other disabilities. Things just kept getting worse... I trust people way too easily it seems. It has gotten to the point that I had to call 911 and file for an OP for me and my kids. It really hurts because I don't have many people to talk to/ close friendships other than two girlfriends.

I know over time I was just being pushed around and used. I just wanted to be loved fully as I am so I can do the same. A 50/50 relationship... But this was never going to happen. He was very verbally/emotionally abusive and threatening towards me. I was always considered the bad mother because my kids walk all over me. I have never dealt with such a severe, walking on eggshells relationship. I constantly ask myself why do I set myself up for easy manipulation and abuse. People tell me Im just a very kind and caring person and some just love to take advantage of that.

I'm just so sad and alone right now... Nobody I know of truly knows what it's like to live in a hostile relationship and to be a high functioning autistic woman. All I ever wanted was a peaceful loving relationship and be able to count on the one I love. I always give all of my heart in relationships but I have yet to truly know what it's like to feel fully accepted loved and appreciated it seems.

Sorry to go on... I'm just so lost.