Still Living with Parents

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I am now over 30 years old and still living with my parents. I have a job and make enough money to live on my own but I choose not to. I would say I am very contented with my situation. I am now getting pressure to find an apartment and be on my own (mainly from my therapist). I know its going to be a very hard transition as I don't have any friends or romantic relationships currently and will be completely alone. Also I don't drive, and use public transport or rely on my parents for transportation. I would like to try being on my own but I am very apprehensive. Has anyone else made this transition after 30? What were your experiences?

I don't know about this but if I were you I would find a new therapist. Unless you expressed the desire to move out to your therapist and they are trying to help push you. I'm 31 I am gainfully employed as a system administrator and live at home with my mother. I have lived on my own in the past with mixed results. If you haven't lived on your own before, then I suggest that you give it a shot find a place that is close to your job or a place you like and public transit. If the situation works for you try finding something month to month and see if you can make it work for yourself. This hinges on your parents being supportive and knowing that if things don't work out you are not stuck in a situation you don't feel you can handle.

It is fine to live your parents after age 30.
It is also fine for your therapist to suggest becoming more independent and living by yourself, esp. since you have job and money to support that.
Maybe you could look at rental ads for places close to your parents house, but you don't need to find one right away, just see if you see something you like and would fit your needs and income.
This might help get used to the idea of living by yourself, and you can tell this to your therapist, that you are trying out the idea first.

Well are your parents ok with you living with them or are they pushing for this as well?...If they are ok with it and you are content, then what would be the point of moving out at this point? I mean just seems weird the therapist wants you to change things you are content with rather than perhaps the things you aren't content with.

If you have a good relationship with your parents and both you and they enjoy living together or if they care about your well being and don't want to kick you out, then there is no reason to move out. I wonder why some people think becoming an adult means moving out of your parents' place. Your parents getting older is a good reason for you to live with them, too.

Getting out of your comfort zone is sometimes important but doing so unnecessarily may not benefit you.

I moved out in my early 20's for a few years. Came back home when the share house I was in broke up and I needed a bit of help when working 50-60 hour weeks. Was only supposed to be a few months but ended another 15+ years. Finally moved in with a girlfriend who turned quite emotionally and verbally abusive after a year or so. Moved home for a year and half and finally moved in with my current lovely lady. Been kind of a steep learning curve for both of us (we are both probably on the spectrum), but we live in a beautiful rural setting with few people and generally enjoy it. Next step is to get some permanent work and look at purchasing a house of our own.

ff5

I'm 26 and still live with my parents. I moved out when I was 20 (all the way across country), but eventually moved back in due to financial constraints, my desire to move back to California and my worsening mental health. I have a good relationship with my parents but I'm getting tired and occasionally stressed out by my environment and really desire a change. Now that I'm more stable, I'm definitely ready to move out; I'm building job opportunities in LA, so hopefully sometime this year I can carry on with it.

Sometimes I wish I had this as an option. My parents kicked me out (institutionalized me) when I was 15 and I have been "on my own" ever since I aged out and got free of that. I have crashed with them when I was between places to stay, but I never "moved back home" and would not want to anyway, I can't stand living with my family.

I don't think there's anything wrong with living with your parents if it works for everyone.

My relationship with my parents is complicated to say the least, especially since they split up and both found partners I ended up hating to live with. I'm much closer to my grandparents, particularly on my dad's side, and they are who I am currently living with.

I'll admit however that I have a hard time relating to my grandfather, as the generation gap between him and I is larger than it is between myself and my grandmother, and he has unfortunately started to succumb to dementia. He's a great guy, but the way he has deteriorated over the last few years is quite saddening. It's hard to make conversation with him, given his dementia and complete deafness in one ear, but I want to try harder to be close to him, as I know he doesn't have much time left.

I feel really depressed all of a sudden. I feel like a terrible person for not trying hard enough to bond with him. I like him but I just don't know how to break down all the communication barriers, or even what I can talk about with him.

One reason to move out is that eventually you will have to live apart from your parents. One day they will die and you won't have a choice in the matter. It's probably better to go ahead do it now so you'll have them around in case you need them and there won't be as much pressure on you.

My oldest, who will be 26 this spring, moved back here a little while back and I have no idea how long he's going to stay, but he's welcome. He's been on his own before and he's working now but he needs to save some money and all before he moves out. He's looking at renting a place with a friend of his before long, so maybe that will work out. My oldest daughter is 21 and she still lives here, and her fiance who is 25 lives here too, but they are both in college and don't work at the moment. My youngest son who is 19 moved out last spring and he's doing ok living with his gf and they both work. My youngest is 18 and a senior in high school but she's wanting to find a good 4 year college and live on campus.

I never lived on my own, I always lived with a guy. I'm not so sure I'd enjoy living by myself now that I'm old and used to having somebody around. I could do it if I didn't have a choice though, but if something happens to my husband and my kids are moved out I'd probably try and get one of the kids to move back home. If I were you I'd certainly go ahead and try moving out and living on my own. It would be easier now, knowing they are still around to help if need be than it will be when they are gone and you are truly alone with no one there to act as a net.

I'm 27 and in the same boat. I'm not worried about where my life will lead me in the future at this point. It's all about slowly planning things for the future for me.

I'm 47 and still living at my Mother's house. She hasn't been here for the past 7 month so I've been living on my own for that time and I've got to admit, it's pretty FAN BLOODY TASTIC!!

The one thing I will warn you about living alone.
I find I eat once every 5 days (and not much). Last week, I had 3/4 banana on Wednesday and that was all I ate from the previous Monday to the Saturday.
I tend to go between 3 to 5 days without sleep. That's different from the usual 2-3 hours I used to get a night.

It doesn't seem to be affecting me adversely (yet). I'll probably die soon. Oh well! Ho hum!

Oh, I got sidetracked (as I usually do). Living on your own is GREAT but you've got to be able to look after yourself.

I can cook, clean, do laundry, dishes, etc. You name it, I can do it. The only one thing I can't seem to do is be disciplined enough with myself to make myself want to live!

You should get a recording of a myna bird flying and talking; perhaps that will help you sleep?

I've got heaps of recordings of Mynas Kraftie but I don't need them. They even squawk through the night. I think they must be being disturbed by fruit bats or something to make them chirp through the night.

Sydney's LOADED with Myna Birds