People who treat you like a kid

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I have been told I appear child-like and am very soft-spoken. I've been mistaken to be a teenager over the phone a few times.

Thing is, it becomes a problem when people still treat me like a child. It's almost like they forget I'm an adult who is capable of making her own choices.

What baffles me is, my mother has always encouraged me to be a bit more rational than emotional to help make better choices, and now when I'm not emotionally driven, I get crap from most of my family except my mother. However I think my mother is right because the choices I have made in the past were poor because I thought with my heart on my sleeve instead of thinking things through.

So then I have a few people I run my choices through because I trust they won't give me crap, and they will tell me if it is reasonable or not. More or less I make my own choices but I like to run the idea through someone more intellectual and rational than me, people I know who will not spaz out and worry about the fact I just want to run an idea through them. (The people who spaz out are generally family members)

But I've noticed I still get treated like a child by just about everyone in my family except my mom. It feels disrespectful. And I don't think I've acted in a way that makes me deserve to be treated that way. If they're still nostalgic about me when I was a kid, and only can see me as a kid, I do not want to be around these people. To clarify, my family is mostly a passive-aggressive black hole that tries to suck you in to their own little dimension of negativity.

How do you deal with this sort of behavior? I plan on moving a few towns over to distance myself when I can. But how do you respond to this? I'm starting to think silence is the best approach. Just watch them spaz out, trying to have a conversation with you, and remain silent, hoping that maybe they'll reflect on their own behavior.

I still want a decent relationship with my mother though. But I know if I want to see her, I'll have to deal with everyone else, unless I invite her somewhere private to talk. Which is hard because her husband is so high maintenance and clingy. She's out-right told him he's high maintenance in front of others when he interrupts the conversations she tries to have with others.

I look like, and have been treated/seen as a child.

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Ya, I'm weird like that...

Yeah, it's like when you tell people you have a disability everybody wants to treat you as a child, idiot, and as if you're helpless.

It's insulting and disgusting.

I have learned to accept that I will be treated as a mentally ill child for the rest of my life.

It's just a thing. The alternative is to cut off human contact, which is not something I want.

I am trying to learn to be grateful for the attempt, however diminishing, to be considerate of the disabilities I do have.

It doesn't bother me much.

My friends who look after me describe me as an "advanced 5 year old". This kinda works for me. Maybe when I get. My speech back it will change.

I have written about it more here: http://spacedoutandsmiling.com/blog/201 ... sm-being-5

Jamie + Lion

Happens to me also.

If I'm still treated like a child it's mainly because I still act like one, because I am spoiled, immature, and I still run to mommy when things go wrong.

All of my family members treat me like a child but at the same time expect me to behave like an adult. Typical dumb normie behavior. There's no point in trying to understand their irrational behaviors and stupidity.

I have dealt with this too......it's embarrassing and annoying....though I can see why people do this to me, also. On an entirely superficial level, I think that dressing more professionally makes quite a difference in how you are perceived. But the really important factor, I believe, can be in confidence. Yes, even if there are things that I can't handle as well as NT peers, I think if I had and showed more confidence in myself, I would be treated and perceived much less as a child. I see TEENAGERS who are perceived to be more adult than I am. In their case, they are managing more, their skills and capabilities are obvious, and they have confidence. I think my natural interests and personality will always be different and seem a bit more child-like compared to my NT peers for some reason, but if I could grow more confident, it would help so much - not just in the way I am treated, but in how I feel. I am coming to realize this enough that I think I am finally ready to really try to get more confident - before that prospect just confused me. But now....I think I will just keep hacking away at that goal, because I think my own personal existence would just be more comfortable, AND others would be more comfortable around me.

There are two ways I've been treated like a kid. The first one is pretty harmless. I'm 24, but I look like I'm about 16. I got an odd look from the cashier when I gave her my ID last year after buying Black Ops III, because she said she honestly wasn't expecting me to be that old. No problems there, it's kind of funny and if it keeps up for a few more years, it'll probably be flattering.

The other way is a little more messed up. Most people don't know that I have a disability. They just assume that I'm kind of shy and a little awkward. Since most people I know who know that I have an ASD are pretty close to me, most of them don't really care. I have had a handful of people react weirdly, though. The "nah, nothing's wrong with you, it's just over diagnosed" group can be a little annoying, but a few people I've known decided to respond by fundamentally changing how they acted around me.

It's like, man, you've known me for three months. You damned well know that I live independently, have a full time job in a medical field, a master's degree, car payments, and a cat that I take care of. You've actually been to my house. Yesterday, we were watching Bob's Burgers while drinking moderately priced Chinese beer and talking about our shared interests in technology and science. I'm not just an adult, I'm a fairly smart and moderately successful adult and, by any reasonable standard, perfectly ordinary. I'm still the same person, and there's no need to act like you just found out that I'm actually 11.

People often treat me like a child because I look young, and because I'm socially awkward.

Some relatives treat me as though I'm a child because I don't want to socialize, and they think I'm mentally ill. So I'm treated as though I'm still fourteen years old and anti-social. I'm not anti-social, I just don't want to socialize with them.

Of course, if I react negatively to this sort of treatment, I get treated like a stubborn child, when all I am doing is standing up for myself.

I have done all the typical goalposts of being a responsible adult yet most of my family (siblings, parents) treat me like an incapable child (unless there is something they don't want to do, then it is totally ok to pawn it off on me). The two times in my life that I stopped having anything to do with them have been much happier. If you move, just tell them you are too busy whenever they try to involve you in things. Or don't answer the phone. If you want to keep in touch with your mother you could arrange to meet for coffee or something.

I'm blunt and straightfoward and I've even been treated this way once before. I guess its like everyone says it, when you have any kinda condition people wanna look down at you to make themselves feel better or something. I mean truthfully speaking I also appear very young too, I have a young face and the fact that I wear graphic tees(mostly anime and gamer tshirts). I can definitely figure that being a thing that would contribute too but even when I wear conservative stuff I still look young and get ID'd constantly.

My family seems to have frozen me in time (I'll forever be a kid in their eyes, even though I'm now 46 yro.) Yes, I look young for my age, always wear funny t-shirt, comfy shorts and sneakers, am incredibly emotional, incessantly quote movies, joke around and imitated sounds when I speak. Childish? Perhaps... But that doesn't mean I lack maturity or wisdom. As a matter of fact, I think I am wiser than any of my loud, cynical, selfish, xenophobic family members. None of them is inclined to take the time and have an in-depth conversation with me (except my mum), so they'll never know... Their loss, not mine.