life and relationship advice pls

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HI I am 50 and have never been in a relationship. I was mostly busy through my life struggling with my various problems of undiagnosed AS and dyslexia and my traumatic childhood that seemed to take forever to get over. I am confused as to why I want to be in a relationship and find it so difficult to get into one. I was afraid and disliked men for a long time then I mostly got over that and would like to be in a relationship with a man. I have a long standing friend who was interested in me and I loved him but he is married and doesnt want to be in a relationship. I only really feel comfortable with him. More recently a computer programmer in an office i work in seems interested in me and I am not immediately strongly drawn to him but decided to try and see what happens rather than out and out reject someone for not instantly strongly attracting me. I dont know how much the Aspergers that i was diagnosed with 15 years ago plays a part in my problems getting into a relationship and how much it is my personality or something else. I just get so confused by it all. I would like to do this differently and hate to be out of control at the same time. Those two things dont work together well. I may not have explained myself very well. If you are now confused that is becos I am. Any advice thoughts or questions would be very much appreciated. I have very few peeps I can talk about this to who would understand especially about the AS influence on my life as I dont present as odd or different at all. Thanks in advance.

Has he asked you out on a date yet?

HI he hasnt at all. He seems to like me that is all that has happened. He particularly seeks me out and chats to me and tries to entertain me. He seems kind and easy going. That is the state of play. Not much play but I am thinking differently about it.
I have been reading your comments over on the relationship forum and appreciate your wisdom. i am glad you replied. Thanks

If you do get together, he'll be going out with somebody with a unique name--the name of a character in "Roots" who had a strong character.

I think you folks should continue as you are, having amiable conversations.

Maybe, in a few days, you could propose that you continue whatever discussion you are having over coffee or lunch. Or perhaps he might ask you sooner than you ask him

HI Thanks! i love the name Kizzy. it is also a character from my favourite childhood book by Rumer Godden called the didakoi. My real name is Sarah. But I would rather be called Kizzy. ok I will perhaps do that. we shall see. I am partly waiting for him to reveal something horrible about himself that will cause me to dislike him like being cruel to animals but I shouldnt think like that. Thanks for your advice. Did you know that Joseph Cornell a very good artist used to live in Queens. I love his work. I dont think he is alive anymore. I always think of him when I see Queens.

I'll have to check him out.

I like the name Sarah, too. It's very down-to-earth and traditional.

Kizzy was Chicken George's mother in "Roots." Chicken George was the first slave in the family who was able to buy his freedom. Around the Civil War, he bought quite a bit of land in Tennessee, and brought his whole family there.

Have you ever been to New York?

I didnt know that Roots was based on a real story. That is amazing. I have never been to New York. But I have some friends on doll making and collecting forums which is one of my hobbies and they have said come over! So I will when the time is right. I need to earn a lot more money before I can do that. it is very late here I have to go to bed. thanks and All the best