Loosing Interest in Women

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I am well into my fourties and just had a vasectomy a couple months ago. I am in a bad marriage and have been sleeping in the guest room since last July. My wife unjustly blames everything on me and I resent her for it. We have been together for ten years now. The more I get to know my wife, the more I realize just how disgusting females can be. I don't want anything to do with them anymore. The doctor said that a vasectomy would not effect libido so, is this a normal middle-age thing or, is this just because of the kind of person I married?

My view of females has changed from those beautiful loving angels of joy, to a bunch of parasitic, desparate, beasts looking to decieve their way into my bank accounts. I don't want another woman. I feel like they are all disgusting shameful creatures. I am pretty sure that I am not gay so what is happening?

Its quite normal to feel angry in your situation, you are hurting, dont let the anger alter you as a person though, because then you will be a victim of your own emotions. Women were never angels of joy, nor are they all beasts, I think its a phase in a bad break up to feel a broad sweeping disgust towards the opposite/same sex. I felt similarly about all men for a while too.

Each partner contributes something to the demise of a relationship, you can take ownership of your role and learn from it.

That sounds really depressing.

No, I'm not. To me, it still looks like women are angels by default, so they have to make an effort to be otherwise. Of course, depending on how rough your life is, that effort may be necessary for survival.

^Thanks for explaining. Honestly women are not angels, even the kindest and best have flaws, just like with men, no one is perfect, and a break up brings out the worst in people.
A decade with one person is a long time, can you move out Anachron, get some head space?

I am not really angry, I guess I am just disappointed. I can see how I too could be a pain-the-butt to live with. I figure everybody married goes through this and there will be good times in the future if I don't give up. I don't know.

I know enough about people to understand the inaccuracies of generalizing. I don't hate women, I am just not interested in them at all. I can't even watch porn anymore. I have lost all interest; physically, mentally, and emotionally in females. It is like my brain re-catagorized human female with the rest of the animals in nature. I accept and appeciate them, I just don't want them in my home.

What bothers me the most, is loosing my sexual attraction to females. I hope it is just a phase that will pass.

Maybe the emotional connection is missing from the physical experience now, loss of sexual attraction could be a symptom of many things: depression, stress, anxiety, thyroid and hormonal issues, diabetes/underlying medical conditions, certain medications. I went through a similar phase after my marriage ended and was concerned that the stress had triggered an underlying condition. A blood check might offer an answer, and your doctor could be a starting point for getting the support you will need.

I don't know what your values are, but it sounds like you should probably get out of your marriage. Are you friends with her still?

It's possible your generalizations have happened because of what has occurred in your marriage. It's not fair but if that's what your brain has done there's going to be no way around it until you meet a woman whom you are attracted to again.

This could just be an example of black and white thinking. Women are amazing, then women are not. Nothing inbetween. At the same time, be careful that women or your wife have not fallen so low only as a comparison to the inaccuracies you had imagined before. Women are just other people so they are highly fallible. Like, the fall from being an angel to being merely human is quite far, and it can be disappointing. But is she actually a devil now? Like, people will feel worse of someone who we once looked up to, or think super highly of, when they let us down or mess up compared to someone we didn't think well of in the first place.

I have never thought of men as gods or whatever an angel comparison would be, save for a select few. Most men are just people to me. I don't consider other people as animals because people are like me and I can communicate and talk to them etc.

To become asexual after having a strong sex drive would be disappointing.

At your age Anachron ("well into my forties") it is not implausible that you are experiencing an age-related loss of libido. If it concerns you, you could certainly talk to your doctor. But suppose your libido gets restored - then what? You are disgusted by your apparent likely sexual partner.

As someone else said, it sounds like your marriage is in trouble. If I were in your shoes, I'd either want it to get better, or else I'd want to get out. Going (alone) to a counselor and talking about this for a session or two could give you some clarity.

I don't know if you and your wife have kids. That factors in, too.

I am not going to leave my wife. It would be like if I went to a restaurant and walked out because I did not like what I ordered. I bought it, I am going to eat it, no matter how messed up it is. That is the kind of man I am.

And this is why I plan on never getting married. To the OP I'm sorry you're going through this and can empathize with you completely.

Welcome to the modern broken relationship environment.