intimate relations (aka. Sex)

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I'm currently in a romantic relationship with a NT. He was the only guy I ever dated. The trouble is that because of my autism, I'm pretty much asexual. I was also raised strict Catholic, but so was he. I'm also almost 40 years young and still a virgin. It's normal for people to be interested in sex, but I have no drive to do anything except peck kissing. (I was also sexual abused when I was younger, so maybe some of this is due to that.) I'm not really pressured to have sex, which is good because I don't have any interest in it. To me, a close relationship is when two brains merge and fully understand each other. We were together a few times before but then something happens -- it's a real on again off again type of relationship. The last time we were dating, he broke up with me because I didn't confide in him my sexual history. "Sorry, I don't have one!" didn't really convince him even though that was the truth. He always says "what ever did I do to deserve you." My answer in my head is "you're the only guy to notice and put up with me." I noticed a few other guys that notice me, but some of them creep me out and most of them aren't my type. No, I'm not fussy with "a type", I just would rather chose somebody with my ethnic/cultural background. I know sooner or later the guy I'm with will want more than just kissing. The trouble is I'm afraid.

I think you need to have an honest conversation with your beau about how you feel about intimacy. It sounds like the pain you have suffered has created a block within you where you can't see the beauty of a sexual connection with another person. As a Catholic, you can feel secure in knowing that it's perfectly okay not to have sex with someone until you are married to them. However, Catholics believe that the purpose of marriage is to start a family, so if you believe that too, then this is a conversation you are going to need to have.

Do you see a therapist? That could help a lot. You may also want to talk with your priest during confession because he can offer some good advice.

Find another Asexual Male. Trying to date somebody who's not is a recipe for disaster