"living independently"

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What exactly does "living independently" mean? Because I'm not entirely sure I do it! I'm very dependent on my husband, financially & emotionally.

There are some older members here who still live at home with their parents; I wouldn't want them to feel excluded, either.

I don't know. I think it means different things to different people. It can also just be a stage of life. For instance, if you went back to school to change careers and lived with a parent, it's different than living with them all fifty years of your life (thinking of my cousin here and no one on WP).

I live with my husband but make plenty to support myself, yet I think I am dependent on him in many ways. Just me I guess.

Is anyone ever truly independent?

Maybe you mean adults who don't think adult means using foul or offensive or dirty language or trying to read innuendo into every statement.

People can live at home with their parents and still be independent and there
are people who are living in aprtments and homes of their own and still be
very dependent on their parents or a caseworker for everything.

Being independent means that one is responsible for your own self, physically,
financially and emotionally. It means not blaming others when things go wrong
in your life, accepting the consequences for your behavior as well as your decisions, even if things don't work out at first and knowing when to ask for help when you need it, to address life's difficulties, without pushing yourself on others and being a pain in the butt.

The secret of life is to always keep your mind full of the wonder, beauty and excitement for life and your bowels empty. Nobody wants to be full of S.H.I.T!

I try to be. It gets unhealthy.
You have to take me kicking and screaming to get help for ANYTHING unless I'm half dead or at breaking point.
My pride is pretty ridicules actually.

I am too, Apatura. Well, except for the "emotionally" part.

Before I met my husband, I did work the odd job here and there, but that was supplemented by modest interest generated from a trust fund (no, I'm not a Trump -- my father died when I was seventeen, and set up trusts for myself and my brothers, which saved my life, truth be told). The work environment is, to me, just as nightmarish as high school, only worse...At least in school, one can hide in the back of the classroom...It was easier for me to deal with the kids in school than the "grown-ups" in the workplace. Catty, mean-spirited, filthy pigs, the whole lot of them.

Anyway, although I'm the better parent, the most sympathetic and patient, the one who cooks, cleans, mends, and gives haircuts, among fifty billion other chores, my husband is the provider, the one who drives the kids everywhere, does the grocery shopping (I don't drive), so without him, I don't know where I'd be right now, or how I'd manage. Very upsetting for me to admit that...

I'll drag you if it comes to it. Only one INTJ can actually get away with dragging another INTJ somewhere.


Disclaimer: No INTJs were hurt in the making of this post!

I don't think that I've ever really managed
it. I barely scrape by on my own, unable to
go and get food, sometimes.

I've held numerous jobs, often just stopped
going, without really accepting (though I
certainly realized) the consequences. My
wife was very helpful, and willing to support
me financially.

Now, I'm on my own again, but living off
my stipend. It doesn't really feel like a
responsible job at all. I go in, when I have
to, but everything else is just pretty much
a write off. For example, I haven't cleaned
my sty since before Christmas. Just got around
to it today.

Part of this is that I find it easier to do things
for others. So, I love to teach my classes, but
have real trouble throwing the necessary effort
into mine own work. I cleaned for my wife - and
even motivated enough to do some free-lance
work, knowing that it would make her happier.
But, if left to only serving myself, it seems that
I'd be happiest doing nothing at all.

Good question.
If it means not getting help from the government or my mother, I'm afraid I wouldn't qualify either.

Tell that to my future employer.

The hell with it all.

I ought to just go live on the river.

I completely understand. I also find it easier to do for others. I won't cook when it's just me, but if there's one other person I'll make bomb-ass food (sorry that's my word of the day). And I won't clean by myself - it's only doable if somebody does it with me. I guess I'd not do anything either if I lived by myself.

Don't live on the river. I kind of had that fantasy when I moved to Hawaii, you know the hammock on the beach, eating fallen papayas, but somehow I got stuck in a huge mortgage and monthly cell phone bill, car payment, etc. MS did it, living out of a VW camper to windsurf at the Gorge) , and looks back on that period with distaste.

Hmmmm, interesting question, fascinating responses. We depend on TM's income mostly. She's put in almost 30 years in the same hospital, at the same job. If I lost her (God forbid) I could probably limp through on my own income, but just barely. The Pretorius estate, and upkeep, and all that. I'd have to do without some comforts, but I'd probably make it independantly.

Yup.
Person A depends on Person B for this, Person B relies on Person A for that. Independence isn't on/off like a switch, it's a range covering all manner of experiences, relationships, & interactions. One can be dependent in one way, another person is dependent in another way. Independence is relative, never absolute.
Multiple dimensions to the word allow it to be defined variously-some examples are more obvious, visible, or expected than other cases. Searching to find instances of one's own that fit the concept doesn't mean one is lacking, perhaps only that one's strengths are obscured. I'd say the same for all sorts of "abstract categories" words such as: caring, confident, considerate, egotistical, generous. Can't be sure how well any fit me, they're all rough/arbitrary judgement calls. My subjective interpretation and self-asssessment depends on my mood & circumstances, but no one can be objective about intangible/imaginary consensually agreed upon mental events.

I'm emotionally independent in that I don't receive, or ask for, any emotional support. I'm largely financially independent, although things have gotten tricky. Since 2005 I've changed jobs 4 times, and had to content with all the wage changes that went along with it.

MS and I don't want to be married, but as he was hanging off of 16 foot scaffolding today, I realized one benefit to marriage - social security. If he died, and we weren't married, I wouldn't get any. But if he did, I would. Is that a reason to get married? I don't know.

aylissa - yes it is. If you have any other issues,
you can always sign a pre-nup. Marriage, in the
eyes of the law, is primarily a financial institution.