She deserves a tongue-lashing...

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I can't believe this is on today's Salon.com, an article entitled: Should I invite my difficult friends to the in-laws' lake house? I'm concerned that my pushy, sensitive friend and her husband, who has Asperger syndrome, won't fit in.
http://www.salon.com/mwt/col/tenn/2007/ ... newsletter

I'm speechless - completely unable to respond right now but I plan to write her and tell her just what I think.

What the hell? Are people so ignorant? The woman seriously could not ask her friend to tone her personality down because she is a guest of a guest pretty much. And the woman also couldn't simply say to her in-laws ,"Oh and her husband has Asperger's syndrome, so if he doesn't talk much its alright. Or if he doesn't make eye contact either, its just his thing. So don't worry about that." She could have also found out his intrest in order to maybe incorporate him into activities. Like hell if he liked drawing, Pictionary! If he is really good with words: Scrabble. In that article, it just made me think that all they were doing is mingling in a living room with martinies for weeks. There are things that people can do together that don't require much social interaction. I know that sounds like an oxymoron, but hey they could watch a movie and other stuff.

And I thought that part where she said she was siting in a kitchen with a woman who has five children of whom two have AS and one other kid has autism. Yeah... technically three have autism, they are all just on a different part of the spectrum. Just shows how ignorant people are and how they make superfical decisions and assumptions about things they have no idea about.

I understand someone's decision about not letting them go out to a lake house. I have one reason. Umm the people's lake house that they want to go to, are people they don't know. This woman has a over the phone friendship and wants to be invited to the woman's inlaw's lake house. I think that is crossing the line a bit. And it should be the inlaws who decide who goes to their lakehouse, so that woman shouldn't even be asking the question.

And seriously, I feel sorry for that poor husband. I wouldn't want to be dragged to stay a week to a stranger's lakehouse and forced to be in uncomfortable situations. I have a feeling that he probably doesn't want to go anyway. I know I wouldn't.

What if I don't wish to fit in and be boring?

I too deserve a tongue lashing.
Not likely at all, in the near future.

Weird, I read a Dear Abby tonight that had the faint taste of Autiephobia in it too. Auties are fine over the winter, when things are dark and discussion is serious. But break out the bathing suits and push those nerds outta the way, they give me the creeps! No nerds allowed over the summer!

The worst part of it to me was the response from the Dear Abby lady, Cary Tennis. She wrote :

"...socially difficult couple for a week at the lake house, and then for that whole week at the lake house there is tension and stiltedness and strange, muffled snorts and hunched shoulders and shoe-shuffling and mute staring into space in doorways and drinks undrunk and games unplayed and puns ungotten, and you get blamed for it and you're banned from the lake house forever although it's never spelled out that you're actually banned, it's always some technical difficulty or other, which drives you slowly mad and you expire of exasperation at an early age...This could happen."

I can't believe salon.com actually paid her to write this BS. I cancelled my subscription.

Disclaimer: I've had a beer and have been reading The Four Agreements*

I think the funny thing about that Salon.com article is that it's all true. That lake house is a coven for NT wizardry and I'm sure bringing in the autistics will curse it somehow. These people will have to think and stuff and maybe change their expectations for a while. Very bad.

She's gonna be a fifth wheel. That's the biggest thought in my head.

But can't someone be quiet without being thought of as mentally handicapped?

The woman who wrote the article is an idiot, clearly. I also think both parties are better off without the "friendship". If she is so desparate to save face in front of the in-laws and refuses to make any effort to understand the husband then there simply is no friendship. It's nothing but an anomalous acquaintance.

She is exactly the type of person in life that I avoid like the plague and getting understanding and acceptance is as likely as the earth orbiting the Sun in the opposite direction tomorrow. I think you would be wasting your time to write her a letter though I am sure you already did. These types can not be reasoned with.

They wouldn't have invited fat people either, you know.
Not even if they were witty and bright.

prejudice comes in all kinds

Merle

Yeah good point, this is not only about AS. It's her as a person and those like her.

Wot kind of ASpie goes to a Lake House, and isn't out wandering around all the time ??? Looking at the fishes, birds, and assorted wildlife, staring at the trees, sky, hunting for interesting rocks, and so forth ?? I'd be outside constantly, they'd be calling me inside like a wayward child, time to come inside now and have a martini ! ! Bollocks to that ! ! I've found some fascinating birds nesting in a tree ! !!

Just another example of a person who must talk constantly when they have nothing to say. The Aspie husband is better off. To hell with the Lake House and that woman. If it's not him, it will be something else. She's just a chronic complainer who wants to feel helpless.

Hopefully they won't be invited so the poor AS guy won't have to suffer through a "vacation" with those nasty people!