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midge
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01 Jun 2007, 4:07 pm

Thanks to everyone for the responses, they were really helpful :) I would like to say more and respond to things people have said, but I'm a bit busy right now, so I will probably do that later.



methinks
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01 Jun 2007, 5:41 pm

I would echo what others here said about your vulnerability in times of trouble,though I think those things are good for all adults to keep in mind.

I don't personally feel critical of someone's choice to have a career if it is important to them,anymore than someone who chooses to make a home.Options are good.



midge
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02 Jun 2007, 3:03 am

I do think that more than anything that I am really lucky to have this option; I hope my first post didn't sound too much like a complaint-I guess I am just very anxious. It may so happen that I no longer do, but I will always have that in the back of my mind and try to find ways to prepare for that. I have definitely given thought to the fact that I would be more vulnerable this way, and if I do decide to do this it is something we will plan for. I probably will take part time classes at some point and/or learn some sort of a skill (or skills). There are, I think, a lot of flexible ways to bring in extra income. My husband is definitely not the type to run off with someone else and we have an incredibly strong bond, and he's in very good health, is pretty cautious, and doesn't work a dangerous job, so I'm fairly optimistic that everything will work out ok.

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There is a book, "The Two Income Trap" which details how most of a lesser second salary (usually the woman's) is usually lost to taxation and expenses associated with working. However, many women are willing to sacrifice and work for what in the end is very little post taxation etc., to keep a foot in the job market in case their marriage falls apart.

I have heard of this book and I think it makes a lot of sense. I have also read, and I can see how this is so, that having a two-income lifestyle sometimes leaves you more vulnerable to bankruptcy if one person loses their job.

Quote:
if it works out financially for you to continue on, then by all means, do it. How lovely you have come to live with us in The States! I loved living in Minnesota/Wisconsin area and know they will make you feel welcome and at home.

welcome back on WP, too!


Thanks for the welcome! :) I don't think I explained this very well, I actually grew up in Wisconsin and moved to Canada to be with my husband (we looked into it, and it is a lot faster and easier to immigrate into Canada). I love Wisconsin; the people are one of a kind and the land is beautiful. I go back to visit whenever I can.

That's terrible that some of you have had to put up with such nasty comments and suggestions. I am afraid of that too; I have a pretty thin skin. But if I do make that decision and I am happy and at peace with it, I don't think it will bother me as much. And I think there is a growing amount of support for it in society; a lot of people want something simpler. Thanks again for all the comments :)



calandale
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02 Jun 2007, 4:27 am

As a former house-husband, I have to say that
there is nothing wrong at all. You're doing a lot
of work, and providing extra support for your
family. The only people who's opinions should
matter in this issue are those directly involved,
and if you and your mate are happy with it, it's
no one else's business.



postpaleo
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02 Jun 2007, 6:37 am

I was a house husband before they had the term. It worked and I worked at it. It had it's rewards and I was better with the kids then she was. My idea of a clean house isn't too normal though. The courts back then didn't see it much as a job for a male, they looked at it as being lazy.


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calandale
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02 Jun 2007, 6:55 am

postpaleo wrote:
The courts back then didn't see it much as a job for a male, they looked at it as being lazy.


Most PEOPLE still do. I found it somewhat
disturbing to have to defend what worked
best for me.



aspiegirl2
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02 Jun 2007, 11:35 pm

I think that's just what the world needs: people to stay at home and make it a nice environment for the people living in it. I don't think it takes any honor or dignity out of life or contribution to the household because someone chose to make something nice for people living at home. It's also not for every person to have a so-called "real career", but then as for most it's just their thing to have a career and to make their own money. The only difference between today and 100 years ago is our choice to be able to do either of those choices. It's good for people to be able to have family time, have a nice home, and have nice food. Someone could say that it's their career choice, or that it's an endosymbiotic relationship per se.


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calandale
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03 Jun 2007, 8:12 am

I think EVERYONE should stay home. :P



methinks
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03 Jun 2007, 9:01 am

calandale wrote:
I think EVERYONE should stay home. :P

+



wendytheweird
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03 Jun 2007, 10:06 am

calandale wrote:
I think EVERYONE should stay home. :P


LOL. Wouldn't that be nice?



calandale
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03 Jun 2007, 10:31 am

wendytheweird wrote:
calandale wrote:
I think EVERYONE should stay home. :P


LOL. Wouldn't that be nice?


I'd enjoy going to work then.



methinks
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03 Jun 2007, 10:53 am

I enjoy working at home.Not a big fan of coworkers.



sunnycat
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03 Jun 2007, 9:55 pm

I think being a housewife is an honorable occupation which can be very satisfying, depending on the person...
One of my heart's desire is to be a good wife and mom. At the same time, I plan to work on utilizing my talents so that I can make contribution to the community.