My wife confessed she doesn't enjoy romantic dinners

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MaxE
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02 Nov 2019, 8:00 am

For our anniversary, I had suggested having a romantic dinner, at which time she confessed that she doesn't enjoy them because I spend the whole evening "staring at her".

Not as bad as it seems. We have been happily married over 30 years. I honestly don't think she was ever very romantic anyway.


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Fireblossom
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02 Nov 2019, 8:05 am

If you've still had them together despite the fact that she doesn't like them, doesn't that just mean that she really likes you? You know, maybe she's put up with romantic dinners 'cause she thinks you enjoy them? That's romantic on her part. Hopefully you can come up with something that you both like for your anniversary.



BenderRodriguez
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02 Nov 2019, 8:08 am

While we both enjoy having a nice dinner, either out or at home, my wife hates with a passion everything considered traditionally "romantic", and if I made here watch a rom-com I'm sure she would divorce me, even after all these years :lol:

If you guys have been happily married for so long, you must be doing something right :salut: so I wouldn't worry - just ask her what she would like to do instead.


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kraftiekortie
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02 Nov 2019, 8:56 am

Some women just don’t enjoy romantic dinners all that much.



cirrusgwood
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02 Nov 2019, 12:01 pm

W/regards to staring at her: I read somewhere recently about a couple who, when they went out to dinner, always got seats at the bar, side-by-side, or sat adjacent to each other at a table and not across from each other. It was for that very reason--the wife didn't like being stared at. This arrangement seemed to work well for them.

Sitting side-by-side sort made the couple feel like partners, as opposed to across from each other, which felt more confrontational.



domineekee
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02 Nov 2019, 12:05 pm

MaxE wrote:
For our anniversary, I had suggested having a romantic dinner, at which time she confessed that she doesn't enjoy them because I spend the whole evening "staring at her".

Not as bad as it seems. We have been happily married over 30 years. I honestly don't think she was ever very romantic anyway.

Did you do/plan anything nice?



BenderRodriguez
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02 Nov 2019, 12:09 pm

cirrusgwood wrote:
W/regards to staring at her: I read somewhere recently about a couple who, when they went out to dinner, always got seats at the bar, side-by-side, or sat adjacent to each other at a table and not across from each other. It was for that very reason--the wife didn't like being stared at. This arrangement seemed to work well for them.

Sitting side-by-side sort made the couple feel like partners, as opposed to across from each other, which felt more confrontational.


Very astute. In terms of body language sitting facing each other is usually an "adversarial" position. When we dine out my wife and I always sit each one side of the corner of the table.


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nick007
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18 Dec 2019, 2:19 am

I stare at my girlfriend aLOT & she does get annoyed with it sometimes but I really love her & think she's amazingly beautiful. She occasionally tells me to stop & I try to stop looking at her as much for a bit. I usually don't stare at her while eating thou cuz I'm too focused on eating.

It's great you & your wife have been together that long Max & that you guys are happy for the most part. If you've been together that long, you may not need to do anything really special. I'd rather just spend the day hanging out with my girlfriend being affectionate but there's a chance your wife may not be into that if she doesn't like being stared at. You could try asking her what she wants to do or just doing something you think/know she likes.


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Archmage Arcane
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23 Dec 2019, 6:37 am

So, is this a romantic dinner at a noisy, trendy, expensive restaurant or a romantic dinner home eating take-out or a meal you cooked by candle- (or fireplace) light?

If you're a bit younger (or just really geeky), maybe by the ghostly glow of a screen?

Please qualify and elaborate... :)



hurtloam
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23 Dec 2019, 6:39 am

Is "you just stare at me" code for, you don't make any conversation so it's boring just sitting and eating.

Sorry, I couldn't think of a more tactful way of phrasing it. This is based on a repeated discussion my parents have. My mum doesn't think my dad talks enough.



martianprincess
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23 Dec 2019, 9:21 pm

What makes a dinner "romantic?" I'm genuinely perplexed by what this means.


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kraftiekortie
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23 Dec 2019, 9:46 pm

When you have somebody like Frank Sinatra or something like that on the radio. When you have a candelabra lit up on the table. When you have either wine or cider in two wine glasses, when you have a nice tablecloth, when there's a lobster in each large plate, and lobster bisque in each bowl on the plate.......

And when you have people in love with each other in that room with that table and that music----

that's a Romantic Dinner.