When is it too late to "make something" of yourself?

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BTDT
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10 Jan 2020, 11:10 am

There are towns in New England that have volunteer firemen. You can have your boring day job and also be a hero!



kraftiekortie
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10 Jan 2020, 11:35 am

We even have volunteer firefighters in Floral Park, NY---walking distance from the Queens County border.



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10 Jan 2020, 11:47 am

Of course you can volunteer, and it actually helps a lot to feel better. I think my point would be that maybe you choose a profession, for example you are an engineer, you can go and have a steady, well paid job at multinational car producent, most of the time you don't do anything that makes any sense, that makes the world a better place. And you can be a intern, or a regular emloyee for a worse salary, at a startup where you contribute to the research of filtrating the COˇ2 out of the atmosphere, and it is not sure that it'll ever work, it isn't a secure position. If you have some talent or knowledge what you worked hard for, and you have to choose between contributing to something that just maybe could someday make the world a better place, or have a steady job somewhere where you have to work with something in what you can't believe at all, it is not that easy. These jobs just kill your 'soul' and rob you from everything what should be important. You can do a lot as a volunteer but you can do more if you choose a job where you can use your unique knowledge to achieve something that helps someway, to someone.
And even if a car somewhere is a necessity, my point would be that young adults tend to 'sell' their ideals, or dreams about making a difference, because of the short term advantages, like having a good salary to buy things that aren't neccesary, in a lot of case cars, the next pair of shoes to wear 4 times, or a 5th watch, a new phone, when the previous is still perfectly working...



BTDT
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10 Jan 2020, 11:50 am

Then there are who design more lethal weapons, as if the existing weapons aren't already lethal enough.



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10 Jan 2020, 11:58 am

That is somewhere my point. Weapon production is a well paid steady job too. And with the same knowledge you could produce water filtering devices too, or you could work on a research on how to produce energy in a more sustainable, and effective way. Or still with the same skills you could build an extensive railway network in Canada, in the US, or in anywhere really, so people who can't afford to have a car could move freely, and the pollution could be lowered too.



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06 Apr 2020, 3:53 pm

I am increasingly suspicious of the whole idea of "making something of yourself." It's a mantra suited for Type-A hardcases too busy achieving to live. For the rest of us, it's just a stick to beat our own backs with. I've seen friends make themselves miserable by getting a "better" job than the last one. The happiest person I know is in the same minimum-wage job I am!


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Asple Pie
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18 Apr 2020, 2:30 am

I'm probably older than most here, and it's taken me a long time to learn this, but life isn't about making yourself into something acceptable to the outside world, it's about finding out who you really are and relaxing into yourself and allowing the world and it's treasures work for you.

We are here on a journey back to ourselves and it's never too late to get to know ourselves, to learn how to love and accept ourselves and to build a life around ourselves which brings joy, meaning, and exhilaration. Of course, as we get older, there will be changing circumstances, but while there is life, there is still time to come home to ourselves.

Find out what you love, and do it, whether it's a career or an interest or a hobby. It doesn't matter what it looks like from the outside, what matters is how it feels on the inside. What are you passionate about? What gets you jumping out of bed in the morning? What makes time stand still for you?
Forget about making yourself into something else, be who you already are with as much enthusiasm and drive as you have.


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Yakuzamonroe
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19 Apr 2020, 8:09 pm

Asple Pie wrote:
I'm probably older than most here, and it's taken me a long time to learn this, but life isn't about making yourself into something acceptable to the outside world, it's about finding out who you really are and relaxing into yourself and allowing the world and it's treasures work for you.

We are here on a journey back to ourselves and it's never too late to get to know ourselves, to learn how to love and accept ourselves and to build a life around ourselves which brings joy, meaning, and exhilaration. Of course, as we get older, there will be changing circumstances, but while there is life, there is still time to come home to ourselves.

Find out what you love, and do it, whether it's a career or an interest or a hobby. It doesn't matter what it looks like from the outside, what matters is how it feels on the inside. What are you passionate about? What gets you jumping out of bed in the morning? What makes time stand still for you?
Forget about making yourself into something else, be who you already are with as much enthusiasm and drive as you have.


Thanks for saying this. I've definitely learned this the hard way over the last couple of years ...



mohsart
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23 Apr 2020, 5:57 pm

Without reading the thread I'll say this.
When I was 47, I started an aprentischip educatiuon to become a rigger.
Before I was a computer tech, programmer, net specialist, security, whatever. I have worked in all fields of computers, and not to brag but been pretty good at it.
So, nearing 50 yo is not to late imo.

/Mats


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23 Apr 2020, 6:25 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
Van Gogh was virtually broke when he was alive....but became a gazillionaire posthumously.


There's few things more useless to a person than 'making something of yourself' posthumously. That's almost like the universe rubbing it in your face, at least if you believe in some sort of eternal afterlife where one would be aware of the outcome.

That said, I'd be fine with my parents cashing royalty cheques on music I created long after I've f****d off.


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27 Apr 2020, 8:37 pm

Once your autism lands you on layers of social programs. You will never get off unless you are very lucky. Most never do. Then you circle the drain for years with the "prospect" of getting into VR, etc., but it's designed to fail. Move up one notch, lose health care. Move back one notch, get food stamps again, move up one notch, lose food stamps....

Meanwhile the companies who manage those programs and check in on you just got a multi billion dollar grant. No way they are letting you out of their net.



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05 May 2020, 5:40 am

How can everyone be expected to achieve a situation that maximizes their potential value to society, when the positions that would allow this are necessarily scarce? What, then, is wrong with merely pursuing whatever it is that satisfices one's own sense of well being? Many of the roles that are shoved on people to fulfill are pointless.



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05 May 2020, 4:20 pm

Some people only 'make something of themselves' after their life has ended. Image


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Lady Strange
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27 May 2021, 8:15 pm

I always thought by now in life (at almost 40) that somehow i would be further along but figure it just isnt going to happen. I've worked retail and now am dabbling in a mailroom job and its not what i want to do for long. Honestly at this point a job that will let me make enough without getting into an autistic meltdown would be a big win. It's hard because most jobs come with some significant level of stress and I'm learning i have to carefully balance to not hit a figurative wall and completely lose it due to being unable to cope. Just switching to my current job involved months of meltdowns (managed to keep them at home and not on the job thank goodness). I think at this point winning the lotto is my only hope.



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28 May 2021, 5:46 am

It's never too late, but it is difficult, particularly if you've already built some kind of life for yourself and need to maintain that throughout whatever changes you want to make.

I've been trying to change careers for years now, but I keep getting sucked back into what I've always done because it supports me and my family and while its joyless and stressful, if I don't do it we lose our home and can't feed ourselves. I'm lucky to have that work, but it can feel like a millstone around my neck that just pays for other millstones like my home, car, family etc.

I made serious steps towards it but 2 years into a degree in my new chosen field I got seriously ill and had to put it on hold. Now I'm not in a financial position to complete it.

I think it's really important to recognise that if you really want to change, it's probably going to take time. The lotto fantasy is a trap. That idea that things can quickly change with no real effort from you. It's possible, but not likely, and its actually demotivating.

Try to think about it as a project that you take incremental steps towards. Define those steps as precisely as you can and work out realistically how long each will take. It might end up being years. But the thing is that those years will feel better because you have a plan, the mundane stuff you hate doing will have a point to it that doesn't make it any less mundane but does give it a purpose which in turn makes it bearable. It's the idea that you're not working towards any sort of change that's really difficult to bear.



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28 May 2021, 12:28 pm

funeralxempire wrote:
Some people only 'make something of themselves' after their life has ended. Image


I aspire to someday be excellent compost.


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