Want to seem trustworthy to adult neighbors
I recently moved into a new neighborhood. I have some anxiety about the idea that I might make my neighbors uncomfortable. That's mainly because I'm very solitary, and I don't have much in the way of small talk. I want to seem secure and down to Earth when I interact with them, but mostly to mind my own business. I pretty much want them to think something like, "Oh he's that bachelor guy that lives down the street. He mostly keeps to himself, but he's alright." I am pretty shy, so tend to clam up when I see strangers, and I think in the past that has contributed to people thinking I'm unfriendly. So this time around I'm trying to make a better impression. But also without going too far and being a people-pleaser with them or seeming awkwardly friendly and familiar. If I could learn the skill of presenting myself in that way that I want to, to people in my neighborhood or in some work situations, that would really be a great asset in my life.
It's tricky if you keep yourself to yourself a lot. I think people feel safer about people they know a bit about, and suspicious of people they don't. Hate to say it, but I think a bit of small talk seems to go a long way. It's good to reveal a bit about who you are and what you do, in small doses, and to ask a bit about who they are and what they do. It's good to seek common ground and ways you can help each other out. It also seems to help if you can bring yourself to learn their rituals and participate in them, though personally I only feel able to do the bare minimum there.
I hide behind my music. I think most of the people who know me where I am now think of me as that guy who sings and plays the guitar quite well. I don't think they know much else about me. Just as well, as they're religious and their political views are miles away from mine. I was lucky to stumble on music as a special interest. Once they decide they like my music, they come up and tell me so, and in theory I can develop friendships, but in practice I'm so focussed on the music and avoiding social gaffes that I've done very little else but play to them. Mostly I've waited for them to show interest in me. I'm kind of non-proactive like that. A smile does a lot of good, so if you're the cheerful type, that can help.
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