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chris1989
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12 Mar 2025, 9:48 am

A remember a young woman who had a 10 year old so she must have had him or her rather young and she said in response to people being "ready" for children, "well when are you ever going to be ready for a screaming child?"

My sister had her son at 26, when I was 26, it never crossed my mind to have children then and I wasn't really with anybody. I still feel no different now and still not with anyone but I'm worried that if I don't I'll regret it later on. It feels like people do these things regardless of really wanting to or whether they can afford it.

Hearing of people who had kids very young makes me feel as though the early 20s are the "perfect time" than later for both men and women but again at that stage during my college and uni years that never even remotely crossed my mind.



jimmy m
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13 Mar 2025, 8:28 am

Getting married and having children can be a gift. Children can bring a strong mission into your life, both for you and your spouse. Over 50 years ago, I got married and we had children. But the most important thing to know is that it is very important to be with your wife, by her side when she gives birth. There are many different types of natural childbirth such as Lamaze, Leboyer (Water Birth), and the Bradley Method (Husband Coached Childbirth). We had our children with the Bradley Method. I was present during the birth process standing right next to my wife and helping her through the process. There is a bonding process that occurs during the birth process. The child becomes fused to me. It is a very natural process early humans felt.


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AprilR
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25 Mar 2025, 10:17 pm

You may never feel ready, and that is not a bad thing. I know for sure that i don't want to bring a child to the world, add in the fact that i might have an autistic child too since my autism is hereditary.



Bestiola
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26 Mar 2025, 7:31 am

chris1989 wrote:
Hearing of people who had kids very young makes me feel as though the early 20s are the "perfect time" than later for both men and women but again at that stage during my college and uni years that never even remotely crossed my mind.


The prefrontal cortex is only activated AFTER mid twenties, so I'd not advise having children before that age.

https://www.iflscience.com/does-the-bra ... he%20brain.


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DuckHairback
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26 Mar 2025, 8:09 am

Bestiola wrote:
chris1989 wrote:
Hearing of people who had kids very young makes me feel as though the early 20s are the "perfect time" than later for both men and women but again at that stage during my college and uni years that never even remotely crossed my mind.


The prefrontal cortex is only activated AFTER mid twenties, so I'd not advise having children before that age.

https://www.iflscience.com/does-the-bra ... he%20brain.


As someone who became a parent a bit later, my advice would be the exact opposite. If you know you want kids do it as early as possible.


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Texasmoneyman300
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26 Apr 2025, 1:12 pm

I will be ready for a child after I get married.



funeralxempire
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26 Apr 2025, 4:01 pm

Define ready: Financially? Emotionally?


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Vitowski
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30 May 2025, 9:33 am

I would never recommend someone to get a child.
Children are not that great as people say.

You have to decide for yourself .. you have to consider your struggle .. if you are sensitive to noise, you have to consider that you cannot run away when the child screams like hell .. and it will scream.

Maybe you can look after a child (from your sister or so) first and then decide. You need to see the bad side of it. Only then can you know if you can handle it.



kadanuumuu
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05 Jun 2025, 6:53 am

Thank you for creating this post.

Perhaps a quick initial qualification: Perfect or normal are 2 words that should only exist in mathematics. In any type of other context they are balloon-words, i.e. statements of intent.

This brings me to my feedback on your post: perfect time to have kids does not exist. So my advice would be to stop looking/waiting for it. If you and your partner are both ready and able to take on the challenge, go for it. Do not let external qualifiers pollute your drive.
Is it in general a good idea to have kids... Well opinions differ and people exist that state they regret having kids at all, and kids exist stating that they wish they had different parents, or none at all.
Should we heed these warnings? Well yes, of course in the same way that there are warnings/edge cases where eating vegetables resulted in an unfortunate situation...
The thing with kids is that they force you to, at least, test yourself on the (for me fundamental) parameter of humanity; Do you dare to love something more than you love yourself.

just my 2 cents,
kind regards,
Kada



y-pod
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08 Jun 2025, 3:53 am

If you want a simple answer, the perfect time to have a kid is about two years after you're married, or one year after you have bought a home. That works out to about 30 - 34 in Canada. :D

But in reality children come when people are not expecting them and most of them turn out just fine. Babies don't need a lot to start with and if you can't afford all the best things for them, that's totally OK.


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CapedOwl
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08 Jun 2025, 9:06 am

After reading "What Happened to You" by Perry and Winfrey, and learning how important it is for a newborn baby to receive not only a stable environment, but emotional nurturance, I would say "be honest about how many spoons you have". A baby needs you to be emotionally present and caring, day after day, after day.


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