Does anyone have any tips on making me be a better partner

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I love my partner more then the world can know but sometimes it is difficult (not to love her but to make myself good enough for her)

Often times there are lots of things I want to do together. It was one of the things we founded our relationship on, shared interests. Since moving in together it has been harder to find a balance. I want to do most things with her, but I take away from the alone time she needs, and often put the things I want to do together first. Sometimes when she does not want to.

I know the latter I am the only one who has control over. though (and please correct me if I am wrong) I sense in a NT NT relationship there is a little more wiggle room for "bargaining"

Does anyone have any words of wisdom on how to fix the former? I do not want to schedule our life minute by minute but I want to make sure I give her the time she needs to herself and do the things she wants to do alone.

Loving her can sometimes be tiring and stressful, but I would not want to change a thing about her. She is so sweet and caring I would go to the end of the earth for her. I need to make myself a better partner for her, because she makes me a better person.

Ask her?

I need my alone time too, and so does she. We also have separate interests that don't require the other partner there for. However, salsa dancing was something me and my partner enjoyed doing together when we first met and first started dating, and we haven't done that it in weeks. So today, I reminded her of this and said that I want her to go with me this Friday coming up. I could sense she was really happy with this.

I wouldn't say that relationships among two partners that aren't diagnosed are that much easier to navigate and bargain for things with. They have their difficulties all the same. But be careful revealing these "Am i good enough for you?" questions to your partner. It is best to ask her what she would like to do more than "am i good enough?"

My ex brother in law found a refrigerator magnetic set with several hundreds words in it. He would assemble sweet messages on the fridge for my sister. [ not sure where you can find them, maybe google magnetic message words?] He would leave one wrapped chocolate on her pillow, stuff like that. One little thing every day.

My sister is a monster, so it didn't help much. He finally got smart and escaped and is now married to a wonderful woman who appreciates these things.

best advice I have ever gotten was communicate - my partner and I discussed everything. The people with messed up relationships were talking to outside people

Maybe shift your focus. Instead of trying to make yourself better partner, maybe focus on trying to make it a better partnership. Avoid the blaming and pain of someone always not being enough.

it sounds like your life is a bit empty, and you need to develop an interest that takes up some of your time and energy. this will give her more time to herself, and also likely make you more attractive in her eyes as someone who 'does stuff'. church? fishing? dancing? watching sport? volunteer - this one really good, work harder?

It's really awful when one partner wants to spend all or most of the time together and the other doesn't. And it's incredibly difficult to have that conversation because whoever wants less time is effectively perceived as saying "I don't care about you as much as you care about me"- which, of course, is not true, but people find it difficult to experience it otherwise.

Still, you should try and have that conversation. Because if, in the long run, she really must have 30-40% less together time than you would normally provide her with without scheduling, thinking about it or sacrificing your own needs, then you may have a bit of a problem.

Best book I know of re how to be a better partner:

"How to be an Adult in Love" by David Richo.

All his books are useful in terms of past, present and future relationships.

Don't know if the OP is still reading, but I agree with Adamantium and leafplant. I don't think the OP's unreasonable -- most people expect to spend a lot of time together when they move in; that's part of why they move in, they want to do that. But if it's more than is comfortable for her, then it's not going to work.

A thought -- if it worked well while living apart, maybe go back to that. You know? It may be a decision as to how you want to spend the time together: living together, or doing things together.

Something else that might work, if the OP can tolerate it: the "room of one's own" strategy. An old bf and I were together for many years, partly, I think, because we had separate rooms. It was a functional idea to start with -- both writers, needed private space for writing, couldn't afford a 3-br place (2 offices, 1 br) -- but it gave both of us much-needed breaks from each other, and meant we had spaces that really were our own. He was very polite, never came in without knocking, and if my door was closed he'd usually assume I was writing anyway and just leave me alone unless it was urgent. It helped too that he was a quiet fellow (except when working out story issues and muttering to himself) and tended to do his socializing other places, didn't bring loads of people over all the time. We'd go off and do our things, and he'd often plan things for us -- very big on planning, lists all over -- so we'd agree to meet in the living room to watch a certain show at a certain time.