Do you "like" the people you work with?

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After reading these posts I feel more normal than I have in months. I feel the same way about the work socializing. My are nice people but they irritate me frequently. Its been made clear how important it is to fake it so I try. Nan, it sounds like you've done really well at figuring things out. I will try to learn from you. I've been at my first grown up job for two years now and I'm learning a lot about work social skills but its really hard.

I'm not good at the chit chat at all. In my work place we all eat lunch together at one big table. There is so much going on I can't keep track of who is talking about what. One girl likes to bring in People magazine and everyone reads it or does the crossword from the paper. I have no interest in celebrities so I have no idea what they're talking about. I think my language problems just make crosswords difficult and frustrating rather than fun. They start talking about it and giving each other hints. I stopped going to lunch for a while but then I got in trouble for not being cordial and social. At one point I was actually on the verge of being fired for this.

I definitely don't think everyone in their workplaces get along. I think it is a lot of faking it. I fake it. I'm not very good at it but I try. I'll ask about someone's kids or something like that. The hard part is paying attention to the answer and coming up with follow up questions without just turning the conversation to a story about me. My coworkers think I'm rude and bitchy and that I hate my job but its just that I'm not very good at being friendly. I am nice. If someone needs help moving, I'm there. If I find out someone likes certain cookies I bake, I bring them in more often. If someone is behind on their work, I help them finish. I'm nice, just not friendly. I very much think this is my AS winning.

I like many of my coworkers - some of them are interesting, intelligent, and kind-hearted. That doesn't mean I want to socialize with them or have frivolous conversations with them. It just means that I enjoy working with them.

I work in an online high school. I get along with and like the teachers and some of the administrative people. I don't like the enrollment counselors. We get along for the most part, and most of them are nice people, but they're NTs to the Nth degree! Gossip, men, makeup, hair, shoes, and clothes make up the majority of their conversation. They all think I'm too weird for words but are nice to me anyway. They don't include me in anything, and I don't mind -- in fact I'm grateful. My friends are teachers.

I've learned to stay out of office politics, don't spread/listen to gossip, and share as little as possible about myself.

I make a genuine effort to be nice to my co-workers because I like my job and want to be liked. However, I would never make an effort to become close friends with any of them. I don't like the idea of co-workers knowing personal things about me which could be used for gossip. Friendships have a way of going sour sometimes too, and that would then make the workplace akward. I just smile and treat my co-workers like customers I'd like to keep. Ya' know ...Hello...How are you...Have a nice day...and crap like that.

Like them? Well, on the whole I guess I do, with a few notable exceptions.

But would I trust them? Hell, no. Not as far as I could chuck any of them.

Be friends with them? Not even sure what a friend is as such. All the "friends" I ever had always ended up giving me the cold-shoulder after a while. I have none of the long-term buddies from High School or University, which seems to be the norm. Even if I contact people, either they ignore me or I get a terse response and then never anything more. As for anyone ever trying to contact me, well, not once in the 20 years since I left uni.

And would I socialise with any of my work colleagues - not if I can help it! I find these work social events banal and to be honest, when you look deeper, probably most people don't really want to be there anyway.

Over the years, I've learnt the right things to say and how to behave in the work environment, so much so that, though I say it myself, I'm pretty darned good at it now. It's taken a lot of practice and a lot of mistakes to reach this level though.

I get on better with women colleagues than the men. I guess this is because the one thing I've not learnt to do particularly well is "bloke chat". I just can't get my head round why anyone would want to know what each soccer team is doing precisely, what every score was on Saturday, and which player plays for which team - and they say Aspies have obsessive interests .

haha i just don't talk to them (unless it's absolutely necessary). they return the favour

At my job most all of us have worked together for years.Theres only 17 of us to start with. They accept my "weirdness" and my autistic daughters picture hangs in the restaurant. They are the closest thing to a family or a support system that I have, besides my 2 children. If I broke down on the side of the road I could call on anyone of them and they'd be there for me.
That being said, there are 2 of my co-workers that I'm definitely not fond of and do my best to avoid. (I schedule myself to work as little as possible with one of therm ,the other on is back of the house so I have no control over his schedule, dishwasher, he won't last long)
I dislike avarice in any form and as a fine dining server when someone turns into a "greedy table hog" their days are numbered. My whole job consists of "acting" and so I have developed it up to an art form In the front of the house, I deserve the Academy Award every night. In "the back of the house" I can let go and be my weird self and no one minds. They appreciate my intellect and and my trivial knowledge on a wide range of subjects. Its also become a game for some of us to have me "dumb it down" for the people and then "spring it on them" when they least expect it.
It is amusing to see the shock on their face that they're unsuccessfully trying to hide.
I'm very fortunate through to work where I work and I feel for all of you that don't have it as nice as I do. I can't imagine being in an office all day and that was a sad and horrific way to be treated thatredhairedgirl and I hope your no longer enduring the petty BS of those people and others like them.
The "open office" thing sounds scary to me in its own way. "No where to run to, nowhere to hide" sing it in a Motown voice of Martha and the Vandellas

I actually do like the people I work with currently. We just got new owners and they seem really nice. The manager actually has a friend with Asperger's. The one lady that works there can be overbearing at times, but her heart is in the right place, I think.

The people I work with have slowly become an integral part of my life. I've been there 5 years, and they're the type of people that don't take no for an answer. At first I was reserved, but they kept insisting that I be involved. My son was diagnosed while I was working there, and then later myself, and they were a terrific support throughout it all. I know that I can count on them when things are down (and have been - meds out of control, depression etc.). Whenever I have a social problem, I consult them and they tell me what to do. It's kind of funny - they're not the sort of people that interest me, but through sheer persistence and overwhelming niceness, they have found their way into my life. They do annoying things, like announce that I'm to come over for dinner, and it doesn't matter what I say, they won't take no for an answer. I think they feel a little sorry for me and think I need friends. Whatever their intentions, they are really nice people and I enjoy working for them. Things haven't always been this way for me. The previous two jobs I had were the opposite. My employers took advantage of my work focus, and exploited my good nature. I worked from 8am to 11pm with my son sleeping under the desk when he was not in school, and came in on weekends as well, without extra pay or time in lieu. I walked out of one place in a fit of rage one day, and never came back, the other I moved cities, so I wouldn't hurt anyones feelings by leaving my job. Don't get me wrong, there were good times as well, but because I have trouble working out peoples expectations of me, I over did it, and ended up feeling emotionally abused. My studio manager, and so-called-friend, at one place has (I think) borderline personality disorder, and made my life a living hell. One minute she'd be praising me and telling me I was her best friend, the next, she'd be looking at my work and telling me it was rubbish and how hopeless I was. I didn't know which way to turn. I liked being a friend, but I didn't like all the negative stuff she threw at me. In the end, the only policy was to run away. She still keeps in contact and confuses me, but at least she's a long way away and I understand her a little better now. All in all, the workplace can be a very confusing place, and if you find a good one, stick to it like crazy.

Today, I truly hate my coworkers.

I have had what I consider to be confidential, though not controversial, e-mails fired all over the department by the person I was corresponding with, with sarcastic comments added in order to make me look like an idiot.

Whilst it is only one or two people taking the bait, I have completely lost my trust in them

im there to work, they are there to work, thats all our interections ned be. no need to make it any more. Once some guy, i see 5 minutes a day for three out of the week, learned i played wow and tried to learn the server, faction, and name so he could interect with me outside of work. I didnt give it to hm

The majority of the people I work with I like. I'm a real clown so i'm always doing silly stuff and get a laugh. I'm very open about my aspergers and most people don't care.

The only people I have a real problem with are people most other workers hate anyway, so It's not just me.