Help a minor with Autism and his abusive mother.

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If the mother insists on isolation, then is it possible that she may also have autistic tendencies of her own?

Individuals with any of these inherited disorders such as schizophrenia and others, can sometimes get hit at least twice. The disorders can cause poor relations between the child and parent, and then the child ends up developing the same behavioral tendencies as the parent.

You have my support! When I read your post and your link I cried tears of rage! And his mother sounds like a sociopath!

If what he says is all correct then this woman is a twisted b***h living in a cushion of socially-mandated lies and self-righteousness.

@Fatal-Noogie, I wish I could tell you I had some magic way of contacting him and that we were still talking. But I'm not just saying this because of the PRO. I don't. I haven't heard from him since before the RO hearing. This whole thing started March 23rd. He ran away April 15th, got taken back April 21st (Last I saw of him) and the court date was May 27th. He called me a week before the court date. A new kid had joined up to the private school that 'didn't know the rules,' so he talked him into using his phone, he called me for about 8 minutes. The mother found out about it apparently because she brought it up in court. That was the last I heard of him... However.

To add more. Another one of our friends tried to email him and his family (since I couldn't.) It was blocked. The person tried to use a new email address, unknown. Apparently the mother went and deleted Francis's email addresses and her own. An email he's had for about 5-7 years and she just deleted it like that, all of his stuff and everything. It was an AT&T Sbcglobal so he can't ever get that name or his emails back. Just another thing to show how psycho she is.

I think she wants his online identify removed so he loses hope of his friends ever helping or something. I'm not entirely sure.

And yes I believe she is autistic herself. Francis himself even suspected it. And in court she acted... kinda paranoid. When I got there she was wearing huge sunglasses. The Judge had to DEMAND her to remove them her reason? "I don't want to be recognized." As if I was going to attack her something. And on the Restraining Order she put "Quit sending people to my house." I never once sent anyone there nor would I have the methods to send anyone. She also accused us of saying she'd have to fight the internet and for fabricating suicidal ideas in his head and brainwashing him.

AH that's another thing. In court she said the reason he attempted suicide was because I put the ideas in his head and that he's confused, doesn't know any better and that all of his friends are playing with his head and influencing him to say this stuff. Because of this he wasn't allowed to testify since that doctors note ruled "it would take a year to properly 'unwash his brain." It was just a load of lies she told.

For the CPS stuff, a friend of mine just helped research it. ... It's bad. California's laws are stuck back in the 50s and 70s. Domestic cases don't qualify with emotional abuse. There must be physical abuse already present to even interview the child or they won't do it. Otherwise it's unlawful search and seizure. They also still have the parental immunity law up in that state. CPS has no power unless the parent/adult is ruled unfit.

Last edited by Nekaru on 25 Aug 2011, 4:53 am, edited 1 time in total.

Be nice to hear both sides of the story.

Good luck getting it. While he was in the Psych Ward the first time around we all tried everything in our power to just reason with them. I tried to email explaining what Francis was going through what he had shared with me just to let her know he needed help and for her to listen to him. No go.

Our other friends tried, nothing. The uncle signed on Francis's screename on our site. We all tried to talk to him. He basically ignored everything we said and only heard what he wanted to hear (enough to make us look like bad guys?) and disregarded the rest. We tried to call once or twice to reason. Nothing whatsoever. None of his family will reason, talk, or even TRY to see both sides. We were extremely civil. And this was before he even ran away.

When it got worse he ran away.

I do have some emails back and forth with the mother. (After the court hearing.) She emailed me despite the RO. I have no idea why. Could have been bait, not sure. I also have emails to his doctors. Francis showed me the emails on her email account (he had the password) while he was here. I saved them in a file.

Other than that... If you can find a way, sure. But they refuse to even talk. Francis told us once that they're the type of people who think they're better than everyone else. I'm starting to believe it..

I don't know the legal system too well.
Are audio-recordings admissible as evidence in his favor during legal hearings?
If the mother and her lackeys behave like you say,
then sooner or later they're going to slip up and say something wrong.
There are lots of ways to get recording devices these days.
I suppose getting one to him would be the tricky part.

you have already tried this but,put him intouch with a lawyer who can help him become an emancipated minor

I agree on this, it's the best advice you can get.
It's just hard to prove emotional abuse but the damage which it causes in people's souls is similar to physical abuse. The problem is that people who are in this situation need at first privacy and discretion, because you hardly can prove it and there's word against word if it comes to the court.
You made things public - the mother is in defence and she was warned. She did everything to cut off contact between her son and his friends. She fears losing her son and her reputation; whatever you do she will twist things around and you are not in a good position. She intends to file him as incompetent after he turns 18 - that shows you that she will press every button to keep him. She controlls him and she won't give him free. I know your intentions are good but I see the only possibility for him in what John_Browning said. If it really comes to the hearing concerning a guardianship he needs to tell the truth and he needs to accuse her. I wish him luck if it really comes that far and a judge who sees through the intrigues. I don't know your laws so I would visit a lawyer and ask for advice; also about the guardianship and what requirements are needed to take over a guardianship/conservatorship in your country if your friend would really need someone. I have the partial conservatorship for a acquaintance of mine; she is 12 years older than me and she has schizophrenia. If she has a paranoid phase I am authorised to take over her private concerns if she is not able to look after them.
In general I would like to tell people who have contact with victims of emotional and verbal abuse never overreact or do things on your own. At first they need emotional support and understanding and every step over that needs rational planning (collecting evidences etc) and the permission to act from the victim depending on their age.

This is easily believable. I've personally met and talked on the internet with many parents similar to this....that doesn't even count the people I've talked to and known that might as well have grown up in a slasher movie. If this guy had been NT, he would have had an certifiably insane and controlling little league or ivy league college prep mom. Had he been a girl, she might have been the insane beauty pageant or future pop star mom. ...And she would do it all for her own ego and image. Instead she has a special needs son and wants to control him either because she is severely codependent and needs to look after someone (and she is taking it to the extreme), or she feels like other areas of her life are out of control (too bad she didn't just get a eating disorder instead). She might be sadistic or having a psychotic episode, but that would have to be investigated more.

If it would help it to be even more believable or provide elaboration. I could tell the whole story from start to finish. (The other posts were summarized otherwise it would be huge.) Added in would be the log of the night he asked me to call the suicide hotline (Maybe I should add a log and email section to that blog just to provide all cards on the table... )

Would that be of better help?

Have you considered asking your elected representatives to approach the government agencies involved for an explanation of their lack of action on this matter?

The Police and Welfare agencies would probably take such a request more seriouslt than they would from an individual citizen.

In addition, a well drafted letter to the the Governor of California may yield results.

#

And if it doesn't work use the Shawshank Method. Keep sending letters.

YES, YES, YES.

How long is it before he turns 18? At least then I don't think people can say that you are holding a "runaway" but since he has caretakers and stuff this is difficult and the mother may get into "Neglect of a dependent adult."

I read the Save Francis site and.. I can't really think of anything besides maybe a change of venue if you are afraid the judge(s) would continue to side with the mother and the doctors here? Honestly the only person doing any "brainwashing" is the mom and it's disgusting- and very revealing- that she would use that term. It further demonstrates what a paranoid person that she is- "Oh, his friends are all against me! Anyone who agrees with the realistic fact that I am holding him hostage and not letting him have any human rights is brainwashing him!"



This is exactly right. I am female and my grandmother treated me in similar ways (although not to this extreme) because my mom died in a very sudden, unexpected way and it caused a tailspin of other problems for our family.

That kid should be left alone and his mum really should let him grow up as well. I'm sure that the kid feels like a piece of waste, every day of his life. I don't know the mum's side of the story, but that kid wants some freedom and one of these days, all hell is going to break loose. The age of 17 is usually the age that teens start growing away from their parents and once you reach the age of 18, you are legally an adult. I wonder if that kid has a job. If not, than he should get a job so that he can save up to move into a place of his own and get away from his mum. I doubt that his mum would let him do that, though. It's not usually the kids on the spectrum who have the problems, it's the parents. The parents don't let them grow up.

Agreed. No providing of direction