My daughter has to stay out of class to not be bullied!

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Thank you all for your kind responses.

"Catlover5", you are such a sweet soul, I hope everything turn out well for you.
I kept my daughter in home for two years because of bullying. I home schooled her for grade 8 and 9, then we found a fantastic school, and she started her grade 10 there. she graduated from that high school last June. That school was like a refuge for the kids who were bullied in the mainstream schools. there were quite smart kids there, and they were kind to each other and teacher were so understanding and caring. "Catlover5", take your time to heal, and I hope you find a school like that, so you could eventually go back to school and finish your studies .

"Kuraudo777", I am agree with you, violence is not going to solve a problem.

Thank you! My pacifism shows up in my fantasy novel a lot, as none of the heroes carry weapons or intentionally harm anyone at any time.

Thank you for your kind words, and I hope I have been of help, and I hope things will get better for your daughter

Unfortunately, while I detest violence, I must agree with the poster that stated she should stand up for herself. I had a host of problems with bullies when I was young and tried to resort to peaceful means to resolve the problems. The result was more bullying by more people. I was forced to fight, but when those people got the message that I was willing to stand my own ground, all the bullying stopped. Sometimes fighting is the only way to end things. Period. Are you familiar with that old Kenny Rogers song? "sometimes you have to fight when you're a man...." (or woman)

Is there another adult who can attend class with her? Someone with a phone who can record any harassment. You can then take those recordings to the administration, the police, or even the media. Maybe there is even a kindly classmate you can ask to do this.

I hope that things will get better for you and your Sweet Pea.

Hmm.

I agree with those who have said that she should stand up for herself (this does not mean she has to use violence to do so). She might not be able to control how the bully acts but she can try to control how she herself perceives the situation - and not let it get to her, especially since she can't keep running from these situations whenever they present themselves. You may think you're keeping her safe but in the end maybe she isn't progressing in that area. It sounds harsh, but that's just the way it is. We all have to learn how to deal with people who are just complete jerks, because the world is full of them.

Help her build her self-esteem and see bullies for what they really are, that in itself will go a long way.

The way you describe her it seems like she's a very intelligent person, capable of coming up with emotional strategies to deal with the situation.

It would also be a good thing if she surrounded herself with friends/allies who will protect her and give her emotional support. I realise that making friends for an aspie is way easier said than done, however.

I found that making friends at school when you acquire a reputation as a weak, geeky kid, was very hard- due to the fact that others do not want to associate with you for fear that being around you would reflect poorly on their popular image. Moreover, there is little that school officials will likely do about the kids that are doing the bullying. Think about it. Totally sequestering your daughter would be unfair to her, and expelling all of the bullies is impractical. These are the only ways I can think of that might be truly effective. Even increased supervision is likely to have its holes. In my VERY HARD EARNED experience, there is no substitute for drawing the proverbial "line in the sand" and enforcing it. The bottom line is that reputation is very important to kids in middle and high school, and kids who do not demonstrate adequately their own self respect, will likely not be respected by their peers.

It's also a good idea to have "friends in low places," if you get my drift. Many are the times those "friends in low places" would come to my defense, once they found out whoever was planning to do me harm.

She is very smart, and does very well academically, but she isn't mature in the emotional aspect. She is not capable to come up with emotional strategies to deal with the situation that people tease her or bully her. she comes down in tears when someone calls her names such as ret*d....and once it happened in the class and she was not able to hold herself so she went out of class fast, and by the help of their socio-educator wrote an email to apologize the teacher for storming out. Later I heard that the teacher complained that she disturbed his class at that time, and he said he was afraid for his safty (my daughter just asked him" May I go out of class" in the same time that she was holding her tears. when I told my daughter what the teacher did, she came down with tears and crying and saying that the teacher knew that she is an special need student, why should the teacher go and complain. So from that day she didn't go back to her calculus class.
It hurts me so much too, not only that girl, the monster, who keep picking on my kid, also the fact that the teacher do such a thing. Instead of observing whats happening in the class and not letting these kind of things happens in his class, he goes and complain that my daughter abrupt exit scared him

I pray to god to help my daughter.

Silly that the teacher went and complained over your daughter's abrupt exit. If I had to guess, I would say that he's afraid of what he doesn't understand (Asperger's). Probably prejudiced, as well. There is no shortage of such people in this world, though...

Has she ever spoken to a professional about this? A good therapist can help her put things in perspective and help her cope with the situation at hand emotionally.

I think one of the most important things you can do is be there for her. When I was being bullied by the faculty some years ago (I dropped out because of it) I was alone. No one believed that people could be so rotten, when I told them what was being done. I'm proud of the fact that I was able to deal with them though - and put them in their places - without help from anybody. I do wish I had a supportive and understanding parent to help me through the tough times though.

(The worst and most repulsive monster of them all now has cancer so she's too busy fighting her own system now to bother about me).

On the flip side, because I was alone I had to mature emotionally very fast (I was 22 when this happened). It really was a sink or swim situation - either I fought them head on or they would cause me to spiral into a very deep depression, possibly worse.

I wish I had an easy answer for you. Your daughter will unfortunately suffer a lot until she can learn to handle it emotionally. Be there for her.

"he result was more bullying by more people. I was forced to fight, but when those people got the message that I was willing to stand my own ground, all the bullying stopped."

Same experience here, I only stopped getting bullied after I beat up someone in the middle of class. After that I just got patronised and talked about in fearful whispers instead. I left school thinking the world is a hostile place, and you have to act like an a***hole to get any respect. I don't think that's the best way of dealing with the world.

People do get less sh***y after the teenage years though, so it's probably best to take your daughter out of school for a bit. Be careful though, not to reduce her expectations or horizons.

Willing is not enough. You have to show them you are both willing and capable to defend yourself against them. You have to be stronger than them. They attack you because they think you are weaker than them and therefore they can abuse you and damage you as much as they want, because you can't stop them. You have to prove them wrong, and, for this to be possible, they have to be actually wrong.

This is natural selection. If you turn out to be really weaker than them, they'll have confirmed their natural right to kill you, as slowly as they want so they can enjoy your agony during every step of the process. They'll prove they have no respect for you and heartily laugh at your powerless misery, with the instinctive knowledge that it's the way to go, because they're cleaning the gene pool.



Undoubtedly. And they will end in one of two ways: you destroy them or they destroy you.