Disabled People’s Feelings About Cures - Opinion Piece

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I'm not holding my breath for society to suddenly "embrace" Autistic traits like boundary-crossing, poor social skills, supposed lack of empathy, poor grasp of situational cues, etc.

Again, to the average person this isn't really about "Autism"... it's about avoiding people with undesirable characteristics.

Over time, the DSM took some of these traits and made them into a category because it seemed like people with a lot of them were impaired.

But the label of "Autism" has always been secondary. Whatever you call people these traits, or even if you don't call them anything at all (other than "weird") life isn't easy with them.

Allistics are all about disability rights and Autism acceptance before they realize that it's not just about "not hating Autistic people." It's about how they react to our behavior. And you can't force people to not react poorly to much of that behavior.

So why don't we start having a conversation about what needs to be modified with our behavior and how to do it effectively? Where is this conversation happening?

Yes agree with you no one goes round with a neon sign saying don’t mind me, I’m not really a weirdo serial killer stalking you Im autistic so sometimes have odd behaviors.

Problem is sadly everyone has busy lives and unless they have reason to care they won’t.

While I "partly" agree with you, I think the knowledge of autism also contributes to the problem. I remember my first ex avoided taking me out with her friends because -- supposedly -- I would get sensory overload in the bar. I told her over and over that I won't -- because just the fact that I have Asperger doesn't mean that I have all the symptoms, and sensory issues is a very good example of a symptom that I don't have. There was also a woman on a dating site who refused to date me because she wants to date someone social whom she would introduce to her friends and I supposedly want to sit at home all day. I told her thats not true: I don't want to sit at home and I *do* want to socialize -- I just don't know how, so I can't make friends on my own which is exactly why I want her to introduce me to hers. But she didn't seem convinced, she still thought I would be opposed to being introduced to her friends despite my telling her otherwise. Or the other example is I was talking to a woman on a dating site who asked me whether I am capable of love because Sheldon wasn't.

Now, I can partly answer my own question here. If I take my former officemate -- who also had Asperger -- and imagine what would happen if *he* were to tell people he has Asperger, I don't think they would be making all those assumptions. And thats because he learned to mask it so -- since he looks and acts normal -- they won't really care about his label. But since in my case I didn't learn to mask it thats why they basically know I am weird and then if I tell them my label it would sort of feed into that knowledge. But still the point is that the label *does* make it worse. If it wasn't for that label, then the above mentioned women won't assume that I have sensory issues or that I want to sit at home all day, since neither of these two things describe me. And that woman that compared me to Sheldon won't have assumed I have no feelings (if I don't have feelings why did I get so upset at her?) The whole entire reason they made those assumptions is *because* they know what Asperger is.

I remember, back in the 90-s, Asperger was unheard of. I would tell people I have Asperger and the two most common responses I would hear is either "whats that" or "I don't think you have it". On the other hand, right now everyone knows what Asperger is and nobody questions that I have it. Well, back then I wasn't ostracized nearly as much as I am now. Of course its always possible that it was because I was younger so I got more of a leeway. But sometimes I suspect that maybe the knowledge of Asperger has contributed.

Maybe. I wasn't sentient in the 90s so I can't tell you much about them, but imo people of the younger generation (I'm gen z) greatly value ability to socialize in unstructured ways.

Yeah, I think the Asperger's label can contribute to it. I'm just pointing out the fact that the label is not really as central to our marginalization as PoC or LGBT labels are, no matter how many comparisons activists like to make.

And because the label is not central to our marginalization, let's start having real conversations about how to actually help people... including how to help them fit in.

Yes, but if they did go out with you, are you sure their "intellectual disability" would not have been a problem for you? Critical thinking is not a universal gift. You might have dodged a bullet there...