10 Jan 2021, 4:50 pm
bigNYC
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: 10 Jan 2021
Gender: Male
Posts: 55
Location: NYC/Dominican Republic
10 Jan 2021, 4:52 pm
10 Jan 2021, 5:09 pm
10 Jan 2021, 5:12 pm
bigNYC
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: 10 Jan 2021
Gender: Male
Posts: 55
Location: NYC/Dominican Republic
10 Jan 2021, 5:52 pm
bigNYC
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: 10 Jan 2021
Gender: Male
Posts: 55
Location: NYC/Dominican Republic
10 Jan 2021, 5:53 pm
10 Jan 2021, 6:02 pm
bigNYC
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: 10 Jan 2021
Gender: Male
Posts: 55
Location: NYC/Dominican Republic
10 Jan 2021, 6:08 pm
10 Jan 2021, 6:11 pm
10 Jan 2021, 6:27 pm
funeralxempire
Veteran
Joined: 27 Oct 2014
Age: 41
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 34,202
Location: Right over your left shoulder
10 Jan 2021, 6:32 pm
Jiheisho wrote:
bigNYC wrote:
KT67 wrote:
Autistic people tend to prefer to do things alone.
Ethnicity has nothing to do with personality.
Autistic people need to find ways to do things apart but for the sake of us all. This is already happening.
Ethnicity has nothing to do with personality.
Autistic people need to find ways to do things apart but for the sake of us all. This is already happening.
so I take it rather take option A. Ok but I am tired of my fellow ASD always whining about being lonely when they ACTIVELY avoid people who try to have them socialize very weird and counter-productive behavior.
sadly it seems many ASD folk want the benefits of friendship without putting in the work. (I used to be like this too but I realized I have to put on my big boy pants and be the change I want to be).
Are you victim blaming autistic people on an autistic forum? You do know that autism is a disorder specifically around social communication. We get bullied and abused because of that from a young age. I think your effort to organize autistic people might go better if you don't assume fault in the group you are trying to advocate for.
Imagine if I said I hate [insert racial minority here] complaining about their earnings. They should just work harder.
Dude, you are losing points here.
Are members of this community not allowed to point out when we engage in self-defeating behaviours?
10 Jan 2021, 6:36 pm
funeralxempire wrote:
Jiheisho wrote:
bigNYC wrote:
KT67 wrote:
Autistic people tend to prefer to do things alone.
Ethnicity has nothing to do with personality.
Autistic people need to find ways to do things apart but for the sake of us all. This is already happening.
Ethnicity has nothing to do with personality.
Autistic people need to find ways to do things apart but for the sake of us all. This is already happening.
so I take it rather take option A. Ok but I am tired of my fellow ASD always whining about being lonely when they ACTIVELY avoid people who try to have them socialize very weird and counter-productive behavior.
sadly it seems many ASD folk want the benefits of friendship without putting in the work. (I used to be like this too but I realized I have to put on my big boy pants and be the change I want to be).
Are you victim blaming autistic people on an autistic forum? You do know that autism is a disorder specifically around social communication. We get bullied and abused because of that from a young age. I think your effort to organize autistic people might go better if you don't assume fault in the group you are trying to advocate for.
Imagine if I said I hate [insert racial minority here] complaining about their earnings. They should just work harder.
Dude, you are losing points here.
Are members of this community not allowed to point out when we engage in self-defeating behaviours?
I think it is more about how it is being said that what is being said. Big seems to have several questions that seem to be a bit off if coming from someone with an ASD.
10 Jan 2021, 6:41 pm
funeralxempire wrote:
Jiheisho wrote:
bigNYC wrote:
KT67 wrote:
Autistic people tend to prefer to do things alone.
Ethnicity has nothing to do with personality.
Autistic people need to find ways to do things apart but for the sake of us all. This is already happening.
Ethnicity has nothing to do with personality.
Autistic people need to find ways to do things apart but for the sake of us all. This is already happening.
so I take it rather take option A. Ok but I am tired of my fellow ASD always whining about being lonely when they ACTIVELY avoid people who try to have them socialize very weird and counter-productive behavior.
sadly it seems many ASD folk want the benefits of friendship without putting in the work. (I used to be like this too but I realized I have to put on my big boy pants and be the change I want to be).
Are you victim blaming autistic people on an autistic forum? You do know that autism is a disorder specifically around social communication. We get bullied and abused because of that from a young age. I think your effort to organize autistic people might go better if you don't assume fault in the group you are trying to advocate for.
Imagine if I said I hate [insert racial minority here] complaining about their earnings. They should just work harder.
Dude, you are losing points here.
Are members of this community not allowed to point out when we engage in self-defeating behaviours?
It sounded like a stereotype. But if he can point to actual behavior, then I am all ears. Naturally, implying the only way to advocate is to socialize might be a stretch? Could you run or contribute to a blog, for instance. You could come to a forum like WP. After my short time here, I have met people with conditions that make socializing very hard.
Sorry, I just don't think blaming the people you are trying to help is the best message. Especially, in blaming them for behavior that is the root of their condition. And the paternal, "well, I put on my big-boy pants and so should you," is really patronizing. Compassion can be an important driver in any movement.
funeralxempire
Veteran
Joined: 27 Oct 2014
Age: 41
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 34,202
Location: Right over your left shoulder
10 Jan 2021, 6:47 pm
Jiheisho wrote:
funeralxempire wrote:
Jiheisho wrote:
bigNYC wrote:
KT67 wrote:
Autistic people tend to prefer to do things alone.
Ethnicity has nothing to do with personality.
Autistic people need to find ways to do things apart but for the sake of us all. This is already happening.
Ethnicity has nothing to do with personality.
Autistic people need to find ways to do things apart but for the sake of us all. This is already happening.
so I take it rather take option A. Ok but I am tired of my fellow ASD always whining about being lonely when they ACTIVELY avoid people who try to have them socialize very weird and counter-productive behavior.
sadly it seems many ASD folk want the benefits of friendship without putting in the work. (I used to be like this too but I realized I have to put on my big boy pants and be the change I want to be).
Are you victim blaming autistic people on an autistic forum? You do know that autism is a disorder specifically around social communication. We get bullied and abused because of that from a young age. I think your effort to organize autistic people might go better if you don't assume fault in the group you are trying to advocate for.
Imagine if I said I hate [insert racial minority here] complaining about their earnings. They should just work harder.
Dude, you are losing points here.
Are members of this community not allowed to point out when we engage in self-defeating behaviours?
It sounded like a stereotype. But if he can point to actual behavior, then I am all ears. Naturally, implying the only way to advocate is to socialize might be a stretch? Could you run or contribute to a blog, for instance. You could come to a forum like WP. After my short time here, I have met people with conditions that make socializing very hard.
Sorry, I just don't think blaming the people you are trying to help is the best message. Especially, in blaming them for behavior that is the root of their condition. And the paternal, "well, I put on my big-boy pants and so should you," is really patronizing. Compassion can be an important driver in any movement.
I don't disagree that it could have been stated more empathetically but that doesn't diminish the overall truth.
It's not uncommon for people here who complain about being lonely to refuse to make an effort to reach out and stay in touch with others, as well as to sabotage their attempts by refusing to examine their traits that make others keep their distance. How can one expect to improve the outcome if they refuse to change their approach? Instead it seems like more posters in that situation would rather sulk, blame everyone else, tell anyone who offers help that it's hopeless and pointless and engage in maladaptive daydreaming about epic solutions instead of focusing on realistic but more mundane solutions.
10 Jan 2021, 6:48 pm
10 Jan 2021, 6:53 pm
