Bride not inviting several autistic sister to her wedding

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Then why reply to my posts?

If all you really want is to have the last word, then go ahead and have it...

I just expressed my opinion.....that's all. I'm allowed.

I never represented my opinion as anything other than my opinion.

I think weddings are most romantic when there's just the couple, an officiant, and one friend as a witness.

It's an extremely emotional and private moment, rather like making love to someone with your vow. The idea of having hundreds of people staring at me, or using a microphone to talk to my betrothed is rather terrifying.

That being said, other people like to invite guests and that's their choice. The guest list is entirely up to them.

It's a tough call given the circumstance but ultimately, it's their wedding and it should be done in whatever way causes the least amount of stress or anxiety.

My position on this:

If I were close with these people, I might say "It would be nice if you invited Anna"---but that's as far as I would go.

I am firmly in agreement that it's their "right" to invite whomever they want.....like I said at least two times previously.

The most "romantic" wedding I have ever been to (other than my own) occurred as a surprise to all the guests at a backyard garden party.  Once we all arrived, attention was called, the bride walked up to the groom, the officiant stood behind them, the vows were recited, we cheered, and then had lunch.

Kids?  No.

Momzillas?  No.

Distractions?  No.

It was a pleasant way to spend an afternoon.  There was music, dancing, and singing.  At dusk, we all pitched in to clean up so that the newlyweds could have the place to themselves ... and they lived happily ever after.

It sounds like the bride and groom didn't have an option outside of not inviting her. Especially since the parents wouldn't even agree to supervise her and redirect her if she started being inappropriate with the groom if they invited her.

It sucks that the parents suck at caring for their severely autistic daughter, but it's not the sisters fault or her responsibility really. She wants to have a wedding not spend the day babysitting her sister.

Knowing what even some high function autistics can be like I agree. It would be nice to invite her but such an event where everything needs to run smoothly isn't the place for someone who's disruptive.

Besides, once the bride is married, she will likely move away and maybe even start a family of her own, without her sister to worry about.  The sister is her parent's responsibility, after all.

This is what happens when you don't teach your disabled children boundaries. They grow up and act like predators and do sexual harassment. If genders were in reverse, this would be horrible but since he is a man, she is being treated as the devil for it.

I just don't see "sexual harassment" here on the part of Anna. That's an extreme interpretation.

If a boy/man as disabled as Anna did this sort of thing, I don't believe it would be "sexual harassment," either.

Sexual harassment can occur in many forms.  One is unwanted physical contact.  This could happen in the most seemingly innocent manner or be overt.  The key to the matter is that you did not welcome the behavior and you did not invite it.  If you feel that a pat on the back is offensive, then you should tell the person you do not like it and to stop.  If it continues, you may have a case.  Physical contact can be more than a pat on the back; it can be any type of touching, grabbing, patting, stroking, rubbing, massaging, physical assault, coerced sexual activity, or rape.

Source:  This Law Firm's Website 

When it comes to the bride, NTA. Rather, I think she sounds like she is stuck between a rock and a hardplaced with Michael's demands one one hand and their parents' expectations on the other. I don't think she's being selfish either.

When it comes to Anna, it sounds like she has a problem with boundaries as she may not understand the unwritten rules of couples. Also, regardless of that, she has feelings and could be experiencing some sort of jealousy.

However, I applaud her parents who setting good examples about teaching others to accept people who are different. That said, I think it's okay for her family to keep her away from Michael.

If Anna were a guy and the groom were a woman, it would be sexual harassment because the contact is unwanted. This needs to be taken more seriously when it's a male victim but this does not get much attention.

Just because someone is severely disabled does not mean others need to be forced to accept unwanted touch. This comment is what is so wrong with special needs parents and it doesn't surprise me when more special needs men are registered as sex offenders because they were never taught boundaries or because the parents expected everyone to just put up with it, especially women.

How about they keep Michael away from her.

I agree LG. No one should be touched or groped by another person, or made to feel uncomfortable in physical or sexual ways. Especially not on their wedding day. Especially not if the person felt "obligated" to invite them or to tolerate these actions. Yuck.

"Unwanted sexual attention: This one covers unwanted touching, hugging, stroking, kissing, relentless pressure for dates or sexual behavior. To constitute unlawful sexual harassment, the sexual advances must be unwelcome and unpleasant to the recipient."

Thank you, I'm glad we have sane people here, years ago bunch of nembers here would be painting Michael as a villain. I always felt like the odd one out back then.