Denver Post article blames autism for son's murder

Post Reply New Topic

This only shows how little education ppl receive. Parents with autistic children NEED help, there's no other way of saying it.

I'm not condoning this father's behaviour, only that he was misinformed in the worst meaning of the word.

Parents need to be taught how their children are, why they behave the way they do, what help they need, and the potential they have for a reasonably good life as an adult.

Here when people kill NT kids (which happens so often it breaks my heart) the resons given are the same as the ons given in that article. Because no one told them just how hard it was to be a parent. And theres not enough support when they find out.

The man who murdered his son seems like he was insane. Like the women who kill their children because they believe they will go to hell otherwise, he took one swift decisive action to sove the percieved problem. The true monsters are the ones who end up beating their children to death - They truly do not mean to kill their children, just to punish them and cause them pain.

Perhaps we need to lock these parents up, instead of giving then a 3 page article to whine "I didn't knoooowwww!" like the innocent they just slaughtered.

OK. Again I'm confused. There are one or two people on this thread that appear to have read the article concerned. The rest seem to be making it up as they go along.

I suppose I could always read it all a third time, to see if the article has changed, but somehow I don't think I will, or that it has.

The father appears to have cracked under the pressure of coping with a son he could not understand. That makes him a murderer. If he had received more support, and better information, maybe he could have accepted his son, and that individual would still be alive.

What happened was a tragedy. Is was reported.

The father looks like a lowlife looser who used to be a regular at my clubhouse. That article is sickening. I'm glad that there is no cure and I hope that there's never a cure. That father should be hung to his death. I hope that he rots and burns in HELL!! !!

Email the author, nlofholm@denverpost.com , and tell her directly how horrible this article is. Do not threaten her, just express how this kind of s**t makes you feel.

Transcript of my communication. Perhaps I went overboard a bit, I dunno how this crap works... but I did something, and that's worth something, right? I tried my best.

"I didn't know what I said was bad. I sowwwiiee." That's pretty much the extent of Nancy's reply in my opinon. How about taking some responsiblity for your work, and understanding not everyone will be satisified with a sorry when it comes to people writing about how much of a burden they are on others lives. I find this especially annoying being female, and seeing this come from other women. Like they think, if they use the big sad puppy eyes, and behave like a 3 year old about to burst into tears, then apologize nobody can criticize them or say anything. I think when someone's an adult, they should realize that behaving that way isn't going to result in the same shock of "You hurt the baby's feeelllinnngggs!" as it did when they were young, and confronted with something they would rather not hear.

I've also sent a letter to Lofholm, and recieved a woefully inadequate reply. I've forwarded my correspondence on to her editor. I would encourage everyone reading this thread to write Lofholm. She seems to be operating under the idea of, "well, most people liked it, so it's okay."

How many more negative articles such as this need to come out before the government or American alternative (sorry, not really into politics so don't know ) realise that there needs to be more support for parents AND the autistic children? I do not tolerate murder for ANY reason (except for maybe self-defence) and it appauls me that anyone might sympathize with a murderer purely because his child was neurologically different. WE are the ones who are supposed to have no understanding of others so why the heck do NT parents have a total inability to work out how their kid's mind works? I know its never easy raising an autistic child but this goes to far...

If I rant any longer, I'll start repeating myself...

_________________
I have HFA, ADHD, OCD & Tourette syndrome. I love animals, especially my bunnies and hamster. I skate in a roller derby team (but I'll try not to bite )

What an appalling article.

Here is my letter to Gregory Moore, editor of the Denver Post (copied to Nancy Lofholm):

Dear Mr. Moore,

Nancy Lofholm's article of 2 December, "Autism's terrible toll: Parents risk hitting 'a breaking point,'" is misinformed and deeply offensive.

As you may be aware, a link to this article was recently posted on Wrong Planet (http://www.wrongplanet.net/), a major online community for people on the autism spectrum. This no doubt brought it to the attention of many people outside the Denver area who would not normally read your paper, including me.

Ms. Lofholm's suggestion that Jacob Grabe's autism may have caused his father to murder him is irresponsible speculation. She says herself, "Little is known about what made [Allen Grabe] allegedly walk to a closet while his wife was on the telephone, remove a handgun, walk past her into his son's bedroom and shoot him in the head," and yet at the same time points the finger at Jacob's autism as a possible motive. The article suggests this unfortunate boy is at fault for his own murder, for being such a difficult child that he pushed his father over the edge. I am appalled by this suggestion.

It is also obvious that Ms. Lofholm is woefully uneducated about autism spectrum disorders and Asperger Syndrome in particular. She mentions only the negative aspects of autism without mentioning any of the positive ones. She laments the lack of a cure for autism when in fact many autistic people find the idea that we are "victims" of a disorder that needs to be "cured" extremely offensive. She says, "In less-serious cases, labeled Asperger syndrome (the type Jacob was diagnosed with), victims can often speak normally and can take part in some normal interactions. But they don't sleep well. They have obsessions. They can't easily carry on normal conversations. They have difficulty making friends. And they have uncontrollable outbursts." These are sweeping and inaccurate generalizations. Autism manifests itself differently in each individual, and while the characteristics she mentions are each true of some people with autism, they are equally untrue of others. Many people with Asperger Syndrome have only a few of these traits. Despite this, she suggests that they all present in every such person.

According to the Autism Research Centre at the University of Cambridge, Asperger Syndrome "can be thought of as a personality style in which the individual does not 'tune in' naturally to people and is more attracted by objects, systems, and how things work." It involves "strengths in attention to detail, and can be associated with talent in areas such as mathematics, science, fact collecting or rule-based subjects." It is a disability "only in environments where the individual is expected to be both sociable and a good communicator." (http://www.autismresearchcentre.com/autism/as_hfa.asp) This is hardly the "maddening disorder of scrambled brain development" that she portrays in sensationalist fashion.

I do not believe her intention in writing this article was malicious, nor your paper's intention in publishing it. It is merely the product of ignorance and shoddy journalism. However, this is no excuse. By portraying autistic people in an excessively negative light, this article does a tremendous disservice to us. We deserve a public apology for an article of which your paper should be deeply ashamed, and a correction to set the record straight.

Thank You,

Douglas Newman
Asperger Syndrome "Victim"
Suffolk County, New York

---

I hope others have written or will write letters as well.

Your letter was better than mine, thanks. I like it